A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'v been on 2 dates with a guy who is 10 yrs older... he is not my type, but i thought it would be fair to give him a chance as he really likes me and has done for a while..... after the second date he became less shy and we were getting on great!!for our 2nd date we went bowling! i have a guy friend who works in there and he saw us.... a few days later my friend told me how he has liked me for ages and was too shy to ask me out! but seeing me on a date with someone made him take action!!on monday i have the option of going on a date with whichever one i choose!! and i have chosen my friend as we get on great!! now i need to tell the older guy that i cant make the date with him!! any suggestions on how to word an email to him!! x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): best to tell him face to face or by phone. E-MAIL is cowardly and after all he is human and has feelings. Above all is will show your honesty and what a decent individual you are.
A
male
reader, Playgroundcops  +, writes (22 June 2007):
Try honesty. Just say that you have another date. If he asks with whom, tell him. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. If nothing else, it helps you to maintain a clean conscience.
If I were a girl in your situation, I'd question the friends motives and timing. Seeing you out on a date, judging that date then deciding that now is the time to make a move. Make him wait his turn.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (22 June 2007):
It would be better to phone him really - email is a bit wimpy - but anyway -
Hi John,
About Monday night, I have been asked out on a date and have accepted because I really like him. I am sorry to let you down, but would prefer to be honest with you straight away, because anything else would not be treating you right.
Take care ( or whatever you would say here ),
Jane
Don't waffle on about how much you liked him - he doesn't want to hear you go on about how he was nice, when he knows you prefer the other chap. Short and sweet is the best way. No need to feel guilty, this happens, it was just bad timing. He will like you for being straight with him, and it was only 2 dates, it's not as if you are splitting from a long-term thing.
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (22 June 2007):
 Its always good to have choices, congratulations on that foremost.
There is no better way to tell someone that you dont wanna be with him, than telling him/her that you the truth on how you really feel. There's no need to string anyone along here as the situation isn't all that comples at all to begin with. All you got to do is tell him what you just told us, and the rest is up to him. How he take it is entirely up to him, but for your own conscience you wouldnt want to lie to him. Good luck.
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