A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a girl for 4 years. She broke up with me and I'm trying to move on because she already has. Since more guys approach girls she beat me to the punch. Any advice or tips to meeting new girls. I have a co-worker I am interested in. Also when at bars approaching women isn't the hard part its just I don't know what to say or talk about when I get there. Any advice for peaking a girls interest when I randomly approach them. After 4 years I'm afraid my "game" is a little rusty.
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 I would not suggest that you go out and chat up a girl "randomly" at at all.
You are still hurting from your breakup, that is understandable. After all, you invested 4 years of your life nurturing your relationship with her. BUT, chatting up a girl randomly so that you can show your ex (hoping that someone will be feeding her this information) that you are back in the dating game with full force, is not right. The word "rebound" for a good phrase to describe what you are doing ("on the rebound" while still distressed after the ending of a romantic relationship).
But think another the meaning of the word itself: bounce back after hitting a hard surface. It could actually bounce back and hit you right on your face, couldn't it? [Thumped ... ouch!]. And that girl, is just another "hard surface", is she? She is another human being, with feelings, just like you.
So my suggestion is, take time to heal your heart. Occupy your mind and body with activities that will leave no time to think about her. Sports, martial arts, evening classes (for anything that you'd always like to do but never had time to do it), etc etc. You will get peace, as well as new skills and broader horizon!
Good luck!
Cat
A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (13 March 2009):
 Good for you for getting back out there!
Realize that a rebound hookup by your ex with someone knew is not going to make her forget you! Just because girls get hit on more doesnt mean she has moved on. Not that your trying to prevent her from moving on, but sometimes it helps to know that you were a valuable part of her life for 4 years, and she hasnt forgot you yet
Read The Game by neill strauss...its gold. If it doesnt do anything else, at least it will give you some inspiration and motivation to get out there and make a fool of yourself.
2 years ago i was going through a tough breakup. Really hurting. I started reading The Game and just going out and making a fool of myself approaching girls....it worked, i ended up meeting one of my best g/f's ive ever had. We dated for a year, broke up, but we are still good friends.
"Its not what you say that matters as much as the fact that you just go up to her and say SOMETHING!!!"
Have fun
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