A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is divorced with a 2 year old. He asked me to go to his mom by the coast for a holiday 2 months ago, and while we were there, and when we got back, he asked if I was keen to go down again in December and spend christmas with his family. I said I would and was so excited about it. Last weekend I mentioned to him that we should probably plan the logistics so we can book flights etc.He's going to visit his brothers in november - its one of thems birthday. Last night he tells me he doesnt want to spend christmas with his mom but instead go see his brothers and cousins and nieces etc. (I'm not invited). I was hurt. He said he didnt know it meant so much to me, and didnt think it was an issue cause it's not like it was set in stone. I feel really dissapointed and let down. To me, it was like we really were going but just hadnt sorted out the details. He said he wants to keep things simple, drive down and have fun.Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I over reacting? I just feel if he really wanted me there he would have spoken to me and asked me to go with him, or if I minded driving down or whatever...he didn't - he just assumes that I'm not interested - or rather doesnt care what I think or would like because he's made up his mind already and it doesnt include me. This hurts me - I was included before, but now not. Why?
View related questions:
christmas, cousin, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSpoke to him last night and he says it's the first holiday he has without his daughter since his divorce. He feels that he wont be able to relax completely if I'm with becuase he will be worried if i'm ok, if I need a drink etc and he doesnt want that.
Part of me thinks he isnt ready for another relationship and that he should be playing the field and having fun. He says he loves me and he's sorry for hurting me but he doesnt understand why I am upset. He said he hadnt made up his mind yet if he wanted me to come with him or not. To me, its simple - either you do or you dont. I know that no matter what, if I'm going away somewhere and theres a chance he can come with, then I want him there. Why doesnt he feel the way I do?
|
