A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm a woman, 23 years old, and I have only dated one man seriously in my life. He's my boyfriend at the moment, and we've been together since I was 17 (yeah, first real bf at 17, I was a late bloomer!)He loves me and wants to marry me, and the idea of that is so exciting and wonderful to me. However, some people in my life have been expressing concern that he's been my only serious relationship. They say things like "How can you know you love him if you've never been with someone else?" and "Don't you think you should date around a little?" and "Don't you feel weird about being with only one person in your life?"But I don't. I love him. He's handsome, he makes me feel safe and loved and cared for. He's respectful, he makes me laugh like nobody else can, we can have fun anywhere we go together. He's one of the sweetest men I've ever met, and so thoughtful, and every family member/friend who's met him loves him. We've definitely had our fights, and ups and downs, and over the years I did question a few times whether I should date around more, but it just never appealed to me. I don't want to lose him, I love him so much and our relationship is very happy. I don't think I would have gotten through college and other dark parts of my life without his support.Am I weird or wrong for wanting to marry the only man I've ever dated? Are you supposed to date around lots? What if you think you just got lucky the first time? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): Same situation here, and all I can is stay with him. The grass is not alwase greener on the other side. Its cheesey but soooooooooo true, specialy in urs, and my situation.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 hi
don't listen to friends who say you should play the field instead of settling with your first boyfriend. people play the field (amongst other reasons..) to find the right one, you happen to have struck lucky first time! :)
in life and in relationships NOTHING is guaranteed, doesn't matter if he is your first or your 100th. so just go for it anyway!
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): People date more because they haven't found the right one. You have found the right one without having to. Congratulations! I am sure you will be very happy and am really pleased for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Not Weird at all. Six years is ample time to get to know a person and deal with what's important and discuss your plans for the future.
Time to get on with choosing your wedding dress! My best wishes to you both.
...............................
A
male
reader, cupid_1234 +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Well, I think you 2 got what you wanted at the perfect time. Please don't complicate your life by dating someone else forcefully. True love is with one and only. All the best!!
...............................
A
female
reader, lovebird1  +, writes (9 January 2011):
Hi dear,
Don't listen to what other people say - you're happy and this is the only thing that counts.
There will always - really, always - be someone who will criticise your decisions when it comes to love. If you date too much, they say you're unable to commit. If you don't date enough, they say you're unexperienced. If you have a partner who's very similar, people will say you'll get bored. If you have a partner who's very different, they'll say it's going to be difficult.
You just have to overhear that stuff and listen to your heart. It sounds to me that you just do the right thing.
Not many people are so lucky with their partners, so maybe there's even some jealousy involved in giving you those advices.
I wish you all the best!
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Not the least bit weird. You ljust got lucky. You've clearly realized that relationships take work, but are worthwhile - without having to throw away good ones to do that.
You'll be better able to bond with this man for not having spent your youth chasing a bunch of losers, and he'll be better able to bond with you for similar reasons. Plus, no ex-boyfriends to bring drama into the present.
It's not "weird," especially when you consider that for much of human history, there really was just the one person - not necessaarily in the pattern of high school sweethearts, but similar (this is only counting monogamous cultures, obviously). Not sure about first boyfriends, but I've seen studies claiming that first sexual partners have lower rates of divorce and higher satisfaction with their sex lives, if they get married.
Enjoy it, and let everyone else say what they want. Above all, never, ever take advice from friends who are always single, or who always have a new boyfriend.
...............................
|
