A
female
age
41-50,
*itteneyes
writes:My boyfriend keeps telling me i am unique because i can not seem to "cum" for a man. He says every other woman can except me, and it's starting to get irritating! can anyone recommend any way i can try to do this without feeling or looking like an idiot? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 3 things.
1. You don't 'cum' for a man, you cum for yourself.
2. Many women don't orgasm easily, quite a few not at all. I've known quite a few that didn't til their late 20s or 30s.
3. He is clearly not helping by putting pressure on you. Pressure to orgasm is a huge turn-off. You'll only get there if you're not being pressured.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): No, you are completely normal. I never cum from just intercourse and it is VERY difficult, though possible, to make me cum in other ways. This does not stop me from seriously enjoying everything my boyfriend and I do together. I just dont cum!
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A
female
reader, Glasscitygirl  +, writes (3 January 2008):
Honey you are so NOT unique. I, too, have the same problem. Many times men have felt insulted by that and just don't seem to understand why since some women have orgasms so easily with regular intercourse. Perhaps you can persuade him to do "other" things with you to get you to the point of an orgasm before sex. That really turns my man on and makes the intercourse even better. Oh, I should add that I do enjoy the intercourse part...and you need to let him know that. It's not that you don't enjoy it...it's just different for you than it is for some other women! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (3 January 2008):
 More like your man is doing a crap job and can't make you orgasm!
as duskyrowe pointed out theres are thousands of women who can't. 24% of women if we're gonna be picky about it.
again to agree with duskyrowe. he is a jerk and you should reconsider you relationship.
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A
female
reader, CaliGurl +, writes (3 January 2008):
NO you are not "unique" because you haven't had an orgasm with a man. It's difficult for a lot of women to orgasm during sex. Personally I've never had one during intercourse itself, but I have them during oral as well as with fingers since most of our good sensations come from the clitoris rather than the inside of our vaginas.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (3 January 2008):
 No you are not unique, there are 1000s of women who cannot reach an orgasm. Your bf sounds like an insensitive jerk, if I was you I would kick him to the kerb. How dare he critisise you for not cumming for him. Next time he tells you that you are unique, say "Well Honey somehow you are not that much of a turn on anyway, that is probably why I cannot cum" Lol and see what he says. Find a Real Man who is willing to show you how to reach an orgasm. Good Luck, Dusky xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): First and formost, you need to become intune w/ your own body. If you've never had an orgasm, then you dont know how to reach one, you need to exper. w/ yourself!!.. Then you'll know how to reach one w/ your sex partner!!
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