A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure if i'm gay or bi or wat, i'm a 14 year old boy, and while i think girls are hot, i've never had sex, or even a relationship where we got as far as to make out. I have however had sex with a guy. However i was pitching, so now i don't really know if i'm gay, strait or Bi, any answers are helpfull ty =) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sashana  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 hey kid these mix feelings comes from curiosity.your young and at these age you tend to try things you have never done.you have never had sex with females so you cant think your gay besides dont you think your a little too young to have such a burden?
come on kid stop worrying about that and just enjoy your youthful life.safe sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): You're fourteen, enjoy life, you don't have to decide now! GOSH
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): I don't think it is really important for you to try to define your sexuality at the moment. You are still young, so you are still learning about yourself, and your likes and dislikes. In time, I'm sure you will become more sure of what your preferences are.
But even if you don't, that is okay. It is only a label anyway. And it could be that you are interested in both guys and girls, and that is okay too. You are probably still going through an experimental stage, where you are curious.
There is no rush to do sexual things, or to be able to say "I am definitley straight/bi/gay/whatever". Just let it develop naturally, your sexuality is only one aspect of who you are. x
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A
male
reader, NightLad +, writes (6 June 2009):
 I believe the truest measure of a person’s sexual orientation is not who they have sex with, but rather who they have the ability to fall in love with.To quote from the American Psychiatric Association’s definition of sexual orientation:“Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes. Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions. Research over several decades has demonstrated that sexual orientation ranges along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex.”*Although I do not dismiss people who are sure of their sexual orientation at younger ages, I also recognize that it is not uncommon for many people to experience moments of questioning. I think it is ultimately healthy and normal. I’m sure that just as you are dealing with uncertainty, some of your peers are as well.In time you may find that a pattern of romantic and sexual desires are directed toward one gender more than the other. If you find yourself exclusively attracted to one over the other, than ‘heterosexual’ or ‘homosexual’ would apply. If you find that you are attracted to both genders, to whatever varying degree, than perhaps ‘bisexual’ is a label you will feel comfortable using to describe your orientation.And remember, that is what these terms ultimately are; labels. They are worn to identify your personal orientation to others, not to define them internally.For now, while you are still questioning, I would advise you not to select any particular label just yet. There is more than enough time for that, I promise you. I understand that these feelings of uncertainty may nag at you and push you into thinking about them, but remember that it is also possible to ‘over think’ them. Live your life, enjoy the relationships that await you, and in time the answer will become clearer.* You can read the APA’s statement on sexual orientation in full here: http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html
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