A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 11 months now, and she is the best and longest girlfriend I have ever had. She is the first girl I have really loved.We both go to the same University, have the same major and live in the same dorm building, so we end up seeing each other ALOT.About a month before we started college I broke up with her because it didn't feel PERFECT... and we got back together a month later.While we weren't together she went to a kick-back with a bunch of guys who were stoners etc. Neither of us smoke or drink but she went and hung out and kissed one of the guys.She told me this after we got back together but it just keeps coming back and I hate thinking about it...I don't know how to stop doubting her just for this one thing she did and she keeps telling me she was stupid and wasn't over me, yet I keep wondering if that is what she would have been like without ever meeting me.I have had many many girlfriends before, but I am the first guy she has done more than kiss with...Am I overreacting? How do I stop doubting her?-Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 December 2008):
 I think you are overreacting. Sounds like she had a little rebound kiss, it's over and now she's back with you. It's not as if she cheated or anything - you seem to recognize that. Clearly she was upset about breaking up and wanted to make herself feel better and get a little sweet revenge on you by sneaking a kiss with a "bad boy stoner". I think we've all had those moments. I know I have.
You know the next morning that it was completely stupid, but what's done is done. You are the only one still hung up on this - your girlfriend could care less about that guy, and the guy was probably way too stoned to remember it happened.
The only way you can stop doubting her is if you make the decision to. Do you love her? Do you trust her? There you go. And every time you feel the sneaking suspicions, negativity or whatever, just bite your tongue and let your actions reflect a trusting boyfriend. Nobody wants to be chastised for past mistakes - and this isn't one that she should be feeling guilty about. It was just a kiss!
Good luck, my sweet!
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