A
female
age
36-40,
*lackruby
writes:Hey all,I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months now, it's both our longest relationship to date. I am particularly proud of that achievement but things have ground to a halt.I hardly ever see him now, what was once 2 or 3 times a week is now 2 or 3 times a month. I know circumstances have changed, neither of us have much money and I have moved from the city centre to a suburb, but still we are at most a hour's journey from each other.There never seems to be any urgency with him, if I had just come back from a holiday, I would want to see him the next day. With him, it's 2 or 3 days after.We've argued about it before, he just says it's the way he is, relationships don't bother him or put pressure on him. He has a history of breaking up with girlfriends who've issued ultimatiums (come over now or we are over) so I don't do that.When we are together it is amazing, he makes me laugh, makes me feel sexy, safe and understood, it's just few and far between now. Worth holding on for? I'm not sure.What worries me is I haven't seen him for 2 weeks now and I am not really bothered, am I growing out of the relationship or just growing up?ThanksBlackruby
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (14 August 2007):
 I'm glad things went well. Keep us posted!
Eve
A
female
reader, Blackruby +, writes (14 August 2007):
Blackruby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again, saw him yesterday and figured out he is worth every minute I have to wait for him. Had a long talk, got all my feelings out and apologised for worrying him. Tomorrow we are going out for a coffee or a drink before he comes down mine, just so we actually do something as a couple. Very glad it all worked out, and here's to another 7 months and more.
Blackruby
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (14 August 2007):
He knows he's been complacent so he's wanted to reassure you. Although he can be fun and make you laugh at times, he can also be very sensitive and deep and holds a lot of his feelings inside, fearing to say how he really feels in case of rejection. The next time you see him then be sure to reassure him (if of course you still have feelings for him) as this will go a long way and give him the confidence he needs in order to express himself more. If he feels loved and appreciated he can be one of the most loyal partners around.
Eve
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A
female
reader, Blackruby +, writes (13 August 2007):
Blackruby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, Eve. As a quick update, I swallowed my fear and text him earlier today after he told me he wouldn't be around till wednesday. What I said was 'I am scared because I am not bothered if I see you or not anymore. I am confused because I don't know what this means' and he text back 'I don't know. We can talk about it on wed' so I replied 'Yeah. cos I will know for sure if anything drastic has changed when I see you'
Hours later, later tonight, I got a random text from him saying 'I love you. You know that don't you?' so I must have worried him slightly, so I text back 'Yes. and I love you too. I just don't know what is going on in my head and heart. On one hand, not being bothered about getting to see you too often could be a good thing as long as everything is the same when we are together. Try not to worry and I will try not to too, I will see you soon. x'
Considering surprising him by going over to see him tommorow afternoon for a few hours, spend a little time with him, see how I feel. I really do think I've worried him.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 August 2007):
Although this man likes you, he's not as serious on you as you are on him. If he was, he'd make it perfectly obvious. Has he ever been hurt by a past relationship? It may be that he's keeping a distance and not wanting to get too closely involved too quickly in case he gets hurt again. My advice to you is to keep things light with him, enjoy one anothers company and give him lots of reassurance. That way his feelings for you will grow and he will learn to trust again over time. He's a very sensitive guy and I feel he's been hurt in the past big time! If you really do have feelings for him then you need to be patient here...
Eve
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A
female
reader, Blackruby +, writes (11 August 2007):
Blackruby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. We do text each other everyday and I make the effort to ring on occasion. He is a Cancer and I am a Taurus.
I think I will wait till I see him again, should be monday, see how I feel.
Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 August 2007):
Do you both still keep in contact by phone/text/email regularly when you're not together? What are both your starsigns?
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): I think it's just becoming the norm to you - your getting used to seeing him not very much. Me & my boyfriend are different, we see each other every day except sundays and if we don't see each other for a day then we'll ring each other. But it works well for us & has been doing for the last 2 years. We're both 17.
I think you should wait till you see him again and if you still feel for him the way you always have it's just because your getting used to not seeing him much. But if you don't feel the same then it's because your feelings for him have gone then you'll have to work out what's going to happen from there.
Good Luck xx
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