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Am I looking for love where its actually not?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2011)
A male United States age 51-59, *im3164 writes:

I have a question about love, and the woman I believe that I love. When I think of her , she is beautiful in my mind, but when i see a picture of her she looks no where near as i imagined, when we talk on the phone she sounds like a princess,again I imagine her as much different than when i talk to her in person and how she comes across to me. I fantise about her when i hear songs and watch movies and often put her in the leading roles in my mind.Yet when im alone with here i feel uncomfortable and she seams nothing like i imagine yet i do this over and over. K, go easy on me here, am i just a nut job, am i looking for love where it is not, is it love? at first i thought it was but now not so sure,

thanks for any insight you can offer

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (2 January 2011):

Abella agony auntbut love does not spring up instantly - that is usually lust or a crush. An instant flame that glows and dies quickly.

Love can take years and decades to grow fully. It's a slow burning fire with a need to fuel it from time to time. An ensure that scorn, being cruel, being judgmental do not extinguish the flames of true love before the love has fully developed.

Love is patient and considerate and has abundant courtesy and respect demonstrated towards each other every day

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (2 January 2011):

Abella agony auntsome people are very photgenic, others are not. Some people look much better in person than they do in a photo. Although men are very visually focused when they fall in love for all the right reasons then some of the things that tip then over the edge into cupid's embrace are:

#He can safely be vulnerable with her and know he will get honesty, empathy and genuine interest in return. He can talk to her without reservations, reveal his innermost dreams, insecurities, worries,hopes for the future.

#He can trust her completely (until proven otherwise). He knows in his heart she will not shaft him, nor try to exploit him, use him, nor rip him off.

#She comes first with him. And he is itching to demonstrate that, by being

proud to show her off and introduce her to his family, friends, work colleagues etc

#every hour with her is like a fleeting minute. he likes being with her. He welcomes every moment he can share time with her (total opposite to when people fall out of love when one minute seems to drag as if it is 10 hours)

#He loves to listen to her voice, see her, touch her, smell her, love her and even taste her kisses.

#he feels complete when he is with her.

#if someone else tried to criticize his beloved to him, he would feel pity for the dumb moron with bad taste for disagreeing, with the truth in his heart about her.

#she knows more about him than anyone on this earth, and yet she still loves him. Now that is love.

#She has some annoying aspects, she's not perfect, but he willingly overlooks that, or holds his tongue, because he loves her so much.

#to him she is more priceless than any jeweller's gem. She is the woman he loves.

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