A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 34 year old female. I have been in a live-in relationship for going on 3 years. He is older than myself, but I dont think that matters. Sometimes he is wonderful to be around and then other times, he acts if I dont exist. On Valentines day, Easter, and on mothers day ( I am a mother of 4) he sent flowers to another woman ( one that he had an affair with while married to his ex-wife) and sent them also to his ex-wife. He didnt even say happy mothers day to me. I found out from the other woman on mothers day what he did, but only by accident. He talks to other women on the phone all the time ( same women ) sends them letters and gifts and what does he do for me? That's right, notta. He likes to say that they are just friends and the other day he promised me straight to my face that he would try and do better. The very next day, he mailed out to three different women some silver coins he had purchased but at least this time, he got me a gold Panda coin. He also acts like everybody around is more important and he is there when they need him. I have Leukemia and I need him right now. I was in remission when I met him and I swear I think the stress off all his crap and these womens crap ( who know I live here ) caused me to lapse. Am I crazy or is this man a real asshole? What should I do? The bad thing is, I dont have anywhere to go, I have no friends, they all were killed in a car accident and I dont want to get close to anyone again ( fear I guess )I gave away all my furniture and my home when I moved in with him ( was that stupid or what) I'm guessing that I am the idiot here. He tells me he loves me but then acts like I'm not even alive. This is only going to get worse, isn't it? If anyone has had these things happen, I would like to hear from you and I am sorry that it happened to you to.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 You got a guy, who you know cheated on his ex-wife.
What is rule 1 of the dating game? Find out how he/she treats OTHERS. Of course he/she is nice to you, they want something of you. Find out about their interactions with strangers and past relationships.
It seems pretty clear this guy is a player, so since you gave me two options, I would have to lean towards the choice that you are crazy. Surely you should know better then think "I love you" is enough? Words have no meaning action does.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, take charge back of your own life and don't fall for the first guy to say he loves you when none of his actions reflect this.
A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 Hi
I think you already know the answer to your question. Yes he is.
Now focus on how you are going to get yourself out of this situation, You say you have no friends? Maybe its time to reach out and make some.
do you work? Maybe you can get your own place.. Start agin and do a "spring clean" of your life, you will feel tons better for it.
Do you have any family that can help you?
Good luck
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