A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for six months and he is a really great guy. He listens to me and tries to correct any problems that we have. The problem I am having is he caters to his family tremendously and he does not really look out for me. For example I had a court date at 9:00am in the morning and I asked him to watch my kids becasuse I had to leave early. He said he couldn't becasue his dad might have a long list of things he had to do while his dad was out of town. I do a lot for this guy like make sure his phone stays on and when he needs a ride I give it to him and when he needs money I give it to him. I feel like he is not pulling his share of the weight. I don't ask him for much help. Am I being unreasonable or should I expect him to put my needs before his families sometimes. Please advise
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): I don't think there is a right answer to this question.
I think it is a bit presumptuous of you to expect him to watch your kids for you while you are in court. Does he work, have a job? Sounds like he had a prior commitment to his Father, does he work for his Dad? It sounds like he does, or his Dad has a business or a farm to tend to something like that....not sure here.
But a six month relationship is still pretty much a dating one. It is not like you are cohabitating or married or partner's in life. I think you are going to have to remain independent here in order to make this a good relationship for the both of you. That means you stop giving him money when he needs it, and I don't get the making sure his phone stays on, you mean you are paying his bills?
If this is a situation where this man has no job and you are letting him sponge off of you and then resentful that he won't help you with things you ask for, then your problem is different than what you are asking about.
You have a lazy man who is a user and you are investing in the wrong person the wrong relationship for you.
Hope you found your answer based on your scenario which ever it is.
A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 Hi hun, you wrote "I do a lot for this guy like make sure his phone stays on and when he needs a ride I give it to him and when he needs money I give it to him.
This sounds like a post from a mother complaining about her teenage son.
If he hasn't got his own back, he's very unlikely to catch yours. I don't think you're unreasonable at all. I don't think this guy is good enough for you.
...............................
|
