A
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*pc3291955
writes:I broke up with my ex girl friend 3 months ago. I believe she my have borderline personalty disorder.I have seen many of the symptoms over the past twoyears and have described them to a professional therapist and she believes this is the case.We still communicate by phone usually her asking meto do some favor for her.Sometimes when the conversations go in a negitivedirection she will go into a rage and tell me I'ma terrible person if I say something she disagrees with or she believes is a hurtful thing toward her.Then she will tell me I'm no longer her friend and shenever wants to speak to me again.Then sometimes in a matter of minutes she will call back and say how she doesn't want to lose me as a friend and how she values our friendship so much.Why does she do this and am I foolish to keep helpingher when she needs a favor?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): Why does she do this? She's BPD! That's what BPD people DO! that's like asking a shark "why did you take a hunk out of my leg?".... because that's WHAT THEY DO!
You can't be in any kind of a relationship with someone w/ BPD, without getting seriously armed. Get on Amazon, search the phrase and buy yourself 2 or 3 books. Then READ THEM, and decide if you can cope with this situation. It's tough, and without skills, you're going to loose every time.
When she goes into a BPD episode, you need to time her out, tell her that you're not feeling safe, and tell her that you two can talk in __ number of hours, or days - then then exit the "conversation".
It sounds like your a bit codependent and wanting the take care of her. BPD's will not appreciate the effort.
If she's not in treatment, you need to terminate the relationship 100%. BPD's that are not in recovery are time bombs, and your going to catch a face full of shrapnel.
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