A
female
age
41-50,
*uiltywife
writes:I am 31 years old and have been married for almost 4 years. We have sex almost every month. I don't want to sound like a pervert but i started masturbating when my husband is not home which is most of the time since he's a truck driver. I know i should understand that when he finally gets home he wants to rest an be with our kids but what about me? Do you think i am overreacting? I jave already tried to tell him my feelings but he thinks it is a way to pick a fight with him. God knows i have given him plenty of time. I dont want to be unhappy but i know he loves our children terribly but am a woman that needs attention too. Am i asking too much from him? Could this be enough reason to divorce him. Please help me i still love him nut am very unhappy.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blackdalia  +, writes (14 April 2010):
Sex is healthy for a marriage and you should not feel guilty for asking for more, au contraitre! Let your husband know how you feel and maybe he feels the same way too... He is a hard working, tell him how you appreciate that and tell him IN A VERY NICE WAY that you miss him. Find new ways to see how you can add more sexual interaction between, work, family and kids... It is duable, do not worry but TALK :) good luck
A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 First of all, you're not a pervert for masturbating. Like 99 percent of people do it, and people who say they don't do it are probably lying.
Secondly, asking for sexual attention from your spouse is not asking too much. Definitely not. I understand that after a while a couple's sex life might drop off if kids come along, and one or both of you work etc. But that doesn't mean you need to settle for nothing sexual in your relationship.
It's about finding time and reigniting the spark. You, as his spouse, have every right to ask for attention - as long as you're willing to give it back to him as well.
As much as sex isn't everything, it DOES play an important role in marriages and relationships - whether it be for procreating or for intimacy or both. And I'm willing to bet that a lot of marriages and relationships would run more smoothly if people could get the intimacy right and balanced in their relationship.
I would say it could be grounds for divorce, but perhaps try and work through things first if you really want to stay with him. Try seeing a marriage counsellor or a sex therapist as a couple. Perhaps there are some issues that can be worked through.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): You need to understand that your husband is working hard for the family and as the bread winner he has to go to work , also he is a loving father too to his kids.This shows that he is very responsible towards his family. Like any human being he too likes to relax after a long day of work. The fact that you have sex every month is good too. You need attention too and also the need for more sex is justified but you have to be patient.Bring this to the notice of your husband when he is in a good mood, go out alone where you both do not have to think about the kids and other responsibilities. You need to get back the romance in your life. No man is going to be perfect. So do not give up soon.
...............................
|
