A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently started hanging out with this guy I've known a few years. We've always been acquaintances but really hadn't seen each other in a long time. We started talking via Facebook and he asked me to hang out with me one night, and I obliged. We went to the movies, and afterwards he asked if I wanted to come in his place and have a few drinks and play some pool. I politely turned him down as I knew I was feeling him and wanted to keep him wanting more. The next two days he asked me to come over. During one conversation, in which he had clearly been drinking, he asked if I would consider dating him. I brushed it off because of that fact. I had things to do but told him we would soon. I went to his house and hung out with him and had a few drinks and I ended up spending the night. He took the liberty of telling me he was really into me because he felt like I was the first woman that truly understood him. I also told him I felt the same way. I ended up spending the night and although we slept in the same bed together and we did a little messing around, I told him I would not be having sex with him, as I really don't like to give that up to someone I'm not at least dating. The next morning I needed to leave but he kept begging me to stay. Now fast forward to the next day, he started getting a little distant. I asked if he wanted to hang out but he stated he wasn't feeling well. Later that night, he sends me a text asking me to come get him, as he has been drinking and wants to hang out. I was with a few friends but we all kinda piled in the car and came to get him and went back to my friends to continue the party. Of course, as usual he was very affectionate towards me and we later left and went back to my house. Things started to heat up and we were both wanting to have sex. I again stated my opinion of not having sex with someone I am not dating. He then told me he would like to date me but wanted to make sure I was not going to be possessive or the kind of girl that texts her boyfriend 20 times a day. I told him I wasn't like that and that I was interested in the same thing, but wanted to keep the fact that we were dating private for the time being. Long story short, we ended up having sex. The next morning on the drive back, I asked him if he was sure about the whole dating thing. At that point he kinda clammed up and said he didn't really remember saying that, and although he really digs me, he's scared of commitment. Now I am not stupid enough to fall for that line, because it usually means that person just doesn't want to date YOU. I dropped him off at home and then promptly sent him a text telling him I would appreciate it if he would no longer call or text me, as he clearly used me. So I guess my question is, what exactly happened here? I'm usually pretty in tuned with men but this one has me completely confused. Any help? I like this guy but I don't know if he deserves my time if he comes back.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (14 June 2010):
 In a phrase? HIT AND RUN.
That's exactly what I think happened here. He wanted a quick hit, you'd told him no-some men think that really means yes- he told you what you wanted to hear to enable you to acquiesce and that was that. Hit and run. Return the favor, don't give him the time of day.
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