A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a couple of years, we moved in together last year the only problem is, his temper. When we're working on our house, remodeling etc., he talks to me like I'm stupid and orders me around, yells and acts verbally abusive. He will later apologize but it's getting harder to get over his flare ups.Also, he still has an ex that occasionally e-mails him but God forbid, I say the least little thing about it, he freaks out and starts screaming at me. I don't like her and I don't trust her motives. I think she likes interfere in his relationships because she's never gotten over him. For years after their break-up, he would go and visit her (she lives in another state) and they'd have sex when he/she visited each other. I think her meddling has also caused him to have problems in other relationships because he values her opinion too much, and doesn't seem to see that she has alot of power over his personal relationships. But when I try to sit him down and calmly talk to him in a rational, non-reactive way, he blows up. He thinks I'm overtly jealous, and I think he's creating an atmosphere where I will never have a voice in this relationship without fear of his wrath.I love him to pieces though and most of the time we have a loving relationship. In fact, I rarely bring up this ex, until she I.M's him or sends him a text message and I'm sitting right there. I thought by now (2 years into the relationship) he'd begin to allow me to talk freely about things that bother me but he's so explosive, I don't know that it's ever going to change.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Hi I feel you know the answer to this question yourself, trust you're instincts. A relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself is destructive and on a one way track. If you cannot approach him at all about the way you feel I would seriously look at your longterm goals. Build up you're confidence by working and increasing you're social activities.
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (24 September 2007):
 Oh, Man! This has got manipulator-dependent relationship written all over it. "Love without trust is dependency masquerading as love." -- Dr Sam Vaknan I am sorry but the writing is all over the wall on this one: set some boundaries and expect that he will disregard them. He must get counseling for anger management. He must treat you with the same respect he expects from you. There's more, but I'm pretty sure he will trounce all over those. It is time to get out of this relationship and focus on healing. While you do that, put the words 'manipulator' and 'verbally abusive' in your browser and read about how others that are facing the same challenges find the strength to save themselves. Take care of yourself so you can get all the love and respect you need. Best wishes!
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