A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, i'm not sure why but i can only have one orgasm, yes u read the gender right haha i am female and this shouldnt happen should it?, i dont really have much of a sex drive and when i do i'm normal then once i've orgasmed im imeediatly turned off and just want to get dressed as quick as possible i know this isnt fair on my partner, and i feel bad and hate doing it, i just wanted to know if this is common if so how can i last longer?
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last longer, orgasm, sex drive Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): This is problem behavior and is likely to rob you from a healthy and fulfilling sex life. I suspect that this is NOT a sex drive issue, but one of deep seated shame. You have good sex, cum, and then feel turned off and have a desire to flee. You and your partner need the after-sex time to connect and bask in the after glow. If you were having a one night stand, I could say it's normal, but not with a regular partner who you're in a relationship with. I'd suggest doing some introspective work and see if you can determine what's at the root of these. Were either of your parents shame based when it came to sex? Did they tell you it was dirty?Something in your past is in play... best to figure it out. Talk to you BF and make sure he understands what's going on and can walk you through it as it's happening.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): You may find over time this changes, so it's not something to be overly concerned about. Everyone's sex drive varies over time through their life. I would be more concerned about wanting to withdraw and get dressed right away because this suggests other things going on with you or within your relationship.
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A
male
reader, ezikylejfw +, writes (10 February 2011):
Hey, I know exactly how you feel. That feeling of something being wrong. I think it is centrally connected to a feeling security... that is, fear of something. You need to communicate with your partner. There can be no fear of judgement, disappointment or general lack of satisfaction. Don't be afraid of anything, that is my advice. My girlfriend looses lubrication sometimes, or it begins to feel uncomfortable. When this happens I don't get angry or upset, I just brainstorm other things we could do sexually (I mean other things I can do, either to please myself or please her, hopefully both). Like I said though, sex should help you with your life, not cause contention.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Sounds like it could be a heck of a lot worse, eh? You and your guy can each climax once, with whoever finishes first switching to oral/manual to finish the other, then both curl up and go to sleep with no hard feelings. Count yourself lucky that you won't be disappointed in his desire to sleep after he gets off, and he won't feel frustrated by your refusal to let him. Everyone wins!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Feel lucky that you are able to have one orgasm. Believe it or not many woman cant even reach orgasm once so i guess you should be thankful for that. Also it is common for a woman to be worn out after reaching climax and just wanting to curl up and go to sleep. Therefore I know that you feel bad for your boyfriend but there are plenty of other things you can do for him if he doesnt reach orgasm through penetration. If you are satisfied then turn your attention to him and have fun doing other things that will allow him to finish off. Goodluck.
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