A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently one of my sexual fantasies of several years became a reality which I suppose is a good thing, however since then my sex drive has been almost zero which is really uncommon for me. I'm writing here because I'm really puzzled by it. I would have expected myself to be more sexual in the aftermath, but now when I think of sex there's a whisper in the back of my mind that says "What's the point? I've seen the top of the mountain." Now it seems kind of pointless.Is this normal? I suppose it's not such a bad thing now, but if I stay 'broken' it could be a problem with relationships, etc.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): I reckon you've just got to think of another fantasy, but leave it as just that, a fantasy.
You will be ok in time I am sure - its like reaching any goal you get to think 'what now' - until you have the next idea.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (16 February 2012):
 Time to find a new mountain.
If sex for you was goal oriented, mostly about gratification and 'accomplishhment', then you're quite right when you ask what the point is. You've been there, done that.
Maybe you should find a new reason to have sex and be more discrimminating about when you engage in it and with whom.
Was this fantasy a threesome? It may be that you have less respect for or interest in your partner for having agreed to it. Maybe you no longer see them as having long term potential.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 are you having sex with more than one partner?
or are you making love with your one and only?
just sex I'd not be too concerned
a one and only... I agree that maybe a medical work up first to rule out medical problems is in order
then you can figure out why you don't feel like you want to love your partner any more...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Have you ever really enjoyed sex, or has it always been about the chase?
It could actually be that this is unrelated to your sexual peak. Maybe you're just having a period of low sex drive. Maybe you are depressed because of something else, or going through a stressful period. There could be many reasons for a loss of sexual interest. It might not have to do with your recent sexual experience.
It could also be that your interest in sex was on the decrease before your sexual fantasy took place. But that your overall excitement about what was to happen covered up for the lack of real sexual interest. Try to think back to the sex prior to this sexual fantasy, think about whether or not you were really into it then or if maybe you weren't as interested then either.
If your lack of interest in sex continues you might want to see your doctor and ask why this could have happened. But take some time first, it might just come back before you know it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Sometimes, experiencing a fantasy - sexual or otherwise - results in a let-down ..... sort of like you breath a sigh of relief and say (silently) "There, now that's over."
It's much easier to imagine this if that relief comes, say, from a tense experience... such as danger or anticipation.... but the physical reaction is the same, nonetheless....
That said, you can try to resurrect that anticipation/fantasy by simply re-structuring it to some variant on the fantasy.... and hope that that becomes a NEW fantasy that elicits the same anticipation reactions...
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Well if your currently dating someone a good way to get your sex drive back is experiment try having a night with your partner . Maybe tease him/her this will get you both back into it . Trust me . If you need any tips on the teasing part ask me and i'll give you some(:
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): All you need to do is become all fired up again . Try to get you partner too tease you that waay your desire for sex will come back .. Trust me
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