A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone, i hope you're all well!first off, i moved in with my partner of 2 years last December and a month or so ago he said he wasnt sure about having a relationship and although it broke my heart i understand. so im now moving back home to my family.unfortunately in the past he has basically said "go" and "come back" a few times before and i did thinking things would get better but its just repeated. but now im sticking to my guns and going its just hard because he keeps saying he has changed and wants me to stay.but then theres the going home part. i love my family but i feel so different to them in everyway, i cant stand going back but i know i have to, we just dont get on.not only that but i have no friends to turn to either.I know it sounds like im just complaining and maybe it is, but i know some things are just the way they are and theres nothing you can do.its just for the first time in my life i feel utterly lost, with money, home, people.i just need to know what someone else would do.thank you, sorry its long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much to everyone who replied, its been more than helpful to hear what you think, and i feel much better for it. thanks again x
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (18 April 2012):
 I'm assuming you're moving back home for financial reasons so I think you're doing the right thing.If your boyfriend is unsure about being in a relationship then some time out of one and on his own might help focus his mind. Just be careful you don't get sucked into that trap of giving out girlfriend perks (not just sexual) without actually being a girlfriend.Until he is absolutely sure, he's a friend only and should be treated with the same formality you treat any other friend. It also means you're a single woman and can be courted by other men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): You need to have more pride. Don't stay where you aren't wanted. If he is unsure say, you know what let me make this easier for you. I'm leaving. I dont treat you wishy washy so I'm not gonna allow you to do it to me. Period!! Id rather be uncomfortable at home where I know I'm loved unconditionally than be at a man's mercy.
I've been there and even though I'm under my mom's roof, it's better than riding the emotional roller coaster. Isn't your pride and dignity worth it?
He probably worried about losing 25/7 access to your vagina, cooking, cleaning, n help paying the bills. Don't be a sucker. Go home and stand your ground girl!!!
Also take the time to make new friends. Once you establish your own female social outlet, you'll focus on him less.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): Your b/f sound like he can't make up his mind & in this process he's messing you around.
I'd sit him down & talk to him,tell him what you have just told us.
Make it clear that if he wants to stay you will (if that is what you really want that is)
&
If he wants you to go you will go but you wont be returning.
You cant let him think that he can just discard you & pick you back up again whenever he feels like it.
As for a place to stay could you not look for a flat share?
Try gumtree?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 If it was me I don't think I would move home if it was going to make me so unhappy. Maybe I would until I was able to save up some money so I could afford to rent out my own place and have my own independence. I think you should write out goals and have a plan of action. So you are not moving home with all these bitter feelings, thinking that your life is going no where. Head home and look for a job. Save up enough money so you can rent out a small flat of your own or even a room. Begin your own life. Moving out of the family home will give you a new lease of life and you will then be standing on your own two feet and will have control of your life. Get out and make friends meet new people and make the most of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): Hi there, i know your not sure whether going home to the parents is the right thing to do but by the sounds of it your boyfriend is not sure what he wants.Stick to your guns and move back to your parents but start looking and saving for a place of your own. Why do you feel you have no friends? Are you the type to forgo friends when theres a man on the scene? If not have you tried reaching out to old friends?Sometimes we can feel isolated but it can be that which is built in our minds and it isnt what your friends are thinking. We are all guilty of being busy with jobs and other commitments that we need friends to gently remind us that we are a valued part of their lives and need to find time to meet up for maybe a coffee and a chat.Remember that you are worthy of to people as a friend and dont think you are alone.There are plenty of aunts and uncles on this site who will take the time to answer private messages if you so wish to talk to them x
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