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After a six year relationship, how do I get over this breakup?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2015)
A male France age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I posted something a while back regarding my long time girlfriend wanting to "move on" so to speak. When we first met she was getting out of marriage, separated, and filed for divorce. Since we started out as lovers, our relationship never followed the traditional dating pattern, and we've had many ups and downs. We've always stayed together throughout this time and managed to make things work.

I believe that the breakup this time around is the real deal. She has put me on no contact and and has essentially informed that I should "move on", but I'm having a hard time dealing with it all. It's hard to accept that someone with whom I've been intimate with for so long has decided that I might not be the best option for her long term. Why is that? Aside from the loving relationship that we did have, she has also given me many hints about my shortcomings, primarily not "dating" and courting her anymore and being set in my ways.

My question to all of you is how do I get over this? Insomnia dn stress is starting to creep in, and I can't stop obsessing over her regarding why she left me and what she might be doing now. How do I make sense of all this and what was I to her all these years? Just a safety net net or backup? I'm all alone in this and am having a hard time. After six years it feels like a divorce and I miss her terribly. My coping skills are dwindling by the day.....

View related questions: divorce

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A male reader, beneagle95 Canada +, writes (29 October 2015):

I feel for you.

Am going through exactly the same scenario.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2015):

Denizen agony auntI really feel for you It's a shitty place to be in. Break ups can be worse than bereavement because the other person is still alive. You tend to imagine what a good time they are having while you are left languishing at home.

Well, start looking after yourself. You now should do things to make yourself happy, and not someone else who didn't appreciate you.

It's not going to happen over night but instead of thinking about your loss every hour, it will move to every week. then every month, and finally you will hardly think of her at all.

Find interests; reconnect with old friends. And rearrange your living space to suit you, and not as some compromise with a ghost.

You got free from someone who didn't love you enough. Hallelujah!

Sometimes you have to get rid of stuff to make way for something better. It's going to happen to you, if you are patient.

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