A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boss says he's in love with me and after five months of dating, I'm not sure if it's true or if I love him in return. Sometimes, I do feel like I do. But, at others, I'm so confused. We're constantly scared of getting caught since it's highly illegal in our place of work and we've had very close calls twice. Neither one of us can quit right now or any time in the immediate future...When I really think about it, if we tried to make a life together, it would be near impossible. He has five kids! I don't want to hurt them or him...I'm close to the eldest child however, since I have no children of my own and have more freedom and dreams I want to realize, I can't see a future really working out easily for us. But every single time I'm near him, without touching, without speaking I feel a sense of peace. I feel happy. Seeing him smile makes me smile no matter what. It hurts me when he's unhappy. Please, can anyone offer me advice? Has anyone else been in this situation?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (6 December 2012):
Never fish off the company pond. Almost never turns out well.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Sorry Hon, no good will come of your dating a married man. If he is so unhappy he must do something about his situation.
I suggest that you start job hunting because if you finally decide not to date him anymore things will get very awkward at work.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 You say that you don't want to hurt the kids, but you will end up hurting his entire family very badly. What you are doing is wrong. I know you don't want to get to a moral science class here, but I'm sorry you cant escape it. And not just that, its wrong on so many levels.
You are ruining your own life, you will end up disappointing your family, you are jeopardizing your own chances of a normal, healthy relationship with someone closer to your own age, you are seriously walking on the razor's edge as far as your workplace is concerned and you are helping a married man with 5 kids break up his family.
No good will come out of it. Don't be so selfish and look at just the few moments of happiness for yourself. There are many lives at stake here, your career, your family, his family...everything.
The decent thing would be to break up at once and put an end to this, but I doubt if you can do that. So the next option you have is to continue, wait till you're busted and then take a call. Be prepared for it to get really messy, of course.
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