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I dated someone else because she didn't like me. Now she's angry because of what I did with the other girl!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2012)
A male Azerbaijan age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello. I've really really liked this girl (for this question, her name is G) for some time now, and I didn't think anything was going to happen for a long time; which has made something happening all the more joyful.

However, when I told G that I liked her a long time ago, she initially rejected me. Because I've been rejected in the past and didn't want it to affect my friendship with G, I started seeing another girl (in this question she is S) shortly after for around a month. I didn't particularly like S, but I tried to throw myself into the relationship because I wanted to get over G. We did some things but, we never had sex, and eventually I ended it because I still liked G; although, I never told G about this relationship. This was because it took me some strength to tell her that I liked her, and didn't want her to think I had got over her. I wanted her to be sensitive with me if she started seeing people.

Several months later, and after having seen no one else, me and G began a relationship. I had already told her about my relationship with S a couple of months after I broke up with her, however I didn't go into sexual detail about what had happened, and she was initially supportive; I had told her that I only saw her because I still liked her, and that I was struggling with maintaining our friendship. However, she began asking questions and, not wanting to lie to her, I admitted that I kissed her, and that we had engaged in oral sex. G has resented me ever since, and our relationship has ended several times because of it. This occurred several months ago and she is still saying she can't get over my behaviour. I don't want to break up with her, but I don't see how I can help her. She argues that after I had told her she began to like me, and not telling her was wrong; though she also admitted she would never have told me she liked me. What should I do?

View related questions: broke up, engaged, oral sex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012):

She has absolutely no right to be angry or upset at you for this. She rejected you, which makes you free to do whatever you like with anyone you like without having to tell her or anyone else.

It seems to me that she is a bit shocked by this. She obviously thought you would sit around pining for her instead of trying to move on, and finding out you didnt has been a bit if a blow to her ego. Well that's tough for her!

If she can accept this then this is actually a good thing, as she now realises she can't take it for granted that you will always be there. You need to explain to her that she needs to get over her issue with this and move on or it is going to ruin your relationship. Good luck.

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