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After 4 years I don't feel secure in this relationship. what should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

My bf of 4 years never really appreciates me for anything i do for him. Never compliments me, always expects me to compliment him. Always holds back his love, if i ask him says that if he says how he feels about me or show in his actions that i get that into my head and will never respect him.

Even after 4 years i dont feel secured in this relationship, always getting scared that he is gonna leave me anytime soon, thats how he wants me to feel ( he told me so). He doesnt want kids from me, so have done abortion once.

Please help me, what should i do

View related questions: abortion

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013):

It's really easy stay with him and live with that insecurity the rest of your life if he chooses to keep you that long. Or leave him and find someone who will truly love you, will show you his love with words affection and action.

---are you willing to give up being a mother to satisfy him this decision has to be between two don't let him think for you.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI think you need to consider ending the relationship.

are you really ready to never have children?

are you always willing to live on egg shells?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 April 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou've put up with this A-hole for 4 years???? .... and are just now starting to realize that what you (and he) have is no "relationship????"

Take all the advice that has preceded mine.... and dump him... and get on with your life....

Good luck...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013):

You seem to have a high tolerance for pain. You put up with a total jerk for 4 years straight. I commend you for having such devotion and patience. If only you felt you deserved better. Than you could to the right thing.

KICK THAT A-HOLE TO THE CURB, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO DESERVES YOU!!!

Enough is enough. Stop begging, you've paid your dues. I hope you find a wonderful guy who will appreciate you for standing by him. Never give too much of yourself. Save a little for you, and demand respect from your man. Settle for nothing less.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013):

Truly the way your 4years boyfriend behaves has proven dat he does not love and care about you but wants to use u to satisfy his sexual needs,because if he does he wil not let you have abortion.quit the relationship he is not your type and wait 4 new boyfriend dat deserve,appreciate,love and gives u compliement.

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A male reader, CounsellorRalph United Kingdom +, writes (9 April 2013):

CounsellorRalph agony auntThis guy is not right for, if he was he would make you feel very valued. Your boyfriend has done nothing to make you feel secure in this relationship and it sounds like you are staying with him to maintain a routine. A loving relations should not be anything like this and I would seriously think about moving on to someone who gives you love, respect and dignity. I wish you all the best - Ralph

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