A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm 21 years old, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years. Everything was great, but lately we just don't seem to get along anymore! I do love him, and he says he loves me, but he just won't change a thing about him. In the beginning we used to talk and resolve problems, he told me what he wants me to change about myself and I did, and I told him what I would like him to change, but he just wouldn't listen saying that he never does that, and I'm just taking it out on context. For example: He always looks and comments on other girls when I'm sitting in his car, or even while we're out on a date. I've begged him to stop and explained to him how it makes me feel when he does it. He promissed to stop it, but keeps doing it over, and over again. My boyfriend is overwheight, and eats take out food almost 2 times every day! I've begged him to stop, and to try to eat healthier, since it's not healthy, and he already has high blood pressure, but insted of listening to me, he told me that it's my fault because I don't know how to cook. Basically blaming me for eating junk.I thought of leaving him, but I trully love him. I also feel bad leaving him, because 2 years ago, I was in a real bad situation,I got laid off and was about to go homeless. Then I met him and he was so nice to me, helping me out, getting me back on my feet. I feel like he rescued me!! And am so greatfull for that!Now I just don't know what to do!We argue every single day! Most of the times it's about the same issues, and it always ends up in the same way-he's always right, and I'm the crazy one!! Then I go to sleep and we don't talk to each other! In the morning if I bring it up again to try to resolve our arguements, he just won't listen, saying let's not start off the day argueing! He never wants to resolve an arguement, he'd rather go on for days, saying that he's right, and there's nothing to argue about. What should I do??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 I think its time to call an end to this relationship.It sounds like you are only with him this long because he took care of you when you were broke and now you feel obliged to him.One thing I don't understand is why you are trying to change each other? Relationships work when people accept and love everything about their other half. People wont change if it isn't something they don't want to do but feel pressured to do. If you want that person to not have that quality which you cant stand, find someone else who doesn't have that quality. Being in a relationship with constant arguing isn't healthy for either of you.Do you see yourself spending your life with this guy? If not, its probably best to get out while you're still young and make a real commitment to each other.If you really want to make it work seek couples counselling.
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