| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I am 15 years old and I am a very emotional person who does make friends easily but doesn't connect extremely with them except of some rare cases. I had two friendships in the last 5-6 years that ended up really bad with me broken-hearted. I started to lose my trust in others and now it is extremely difficult for someone to become my secret keeper and something more than a normal friend. During the last year I met someone who was ready to give me all the love he could, always kind, romantic, funny, and a good listener a guy difficult to be found. At the beginning I was very excited with him and for the very first time in love with someone I knew he wouldn't betray me. Soon enough he told me that he loved someone else and I decided to remain his friend even if I could never get what I was really heading for back then. As the time was passing by he was getting more and more connected with me until eventually he became the most precious person in my life. We were sharing everything and I finally had someone to open up and be honest with. Unfortunately in time he started to take me for granted, acting selfish and not listening to my problems anymore. I started to go on my crash and I began to grow tired of him being so tied with me and leaving me no space. When the summer came we were together all day. Then the real problems began. He wanted me to spend my entire time with him and with no other friend of mine near by. He was jealous when I tried to meet another boy and we ended up fighting 3 times per day for no reason and with him treating me worse than anyone before. He was talking to me with no respect when he was angry for no reason, he was embarrassing me in front of others and he was even hitting me for "fun". I am a very patient girl and I knew that he was having a hard time himself those days because of some personal problem of his, but he was totally treating me like I should just stand everything he was doing to me with no argue. At first I was the one who used to apologise when we argued even if it was not my fault and I was the one doing everything possible to make up with him. After 30 days of a living hell with him, and with me tired of saying sorry and helping him with his problems when he didn't spend time to help me with mine, I started to react. I gave up trying to make up with him after an argue and I became much more cold trying to finally take some space. I even told him once that I was feeling that he was pressing me too much and that I was tired of all those fights. Nothing changed. Sometimes I just wanted to break up with him but I couldn’t find a way to tell him and hurt him with the same way someone else had hurt me before. Every time I decided to end up our friendship I was regretting it after some great time we would have together until we start arguing again. At one of the very last nights we would spend together on vacations we had another big fight and I decided to tell him that I was fed up. We didn't talk for several hours and when he saw that I had no intention of asking sorry again he started to hug me and I just couldn't tell him I wanted it to be over. But everything we had, had destroyed completely that day. We didn't argue the next days and we had a fun time together but I just couldn't stop thinking how much I wanted to be alone or away from him for some time. I tried to reconnect with him all over again but it's just not the same and the worst thing is, he has no idea of my thoughts to end up with him. When we came back to town we said goodbye and now he is totally convinced that we'll stay in touch talking at the phone for 3 hours every day and meeting once a week spending all the day together as we did last year. But the truth is I am tired of him and I just can't stand this anymore. My biggest concern is that I don't know how to tell him because I just can't look him in the eyes and hurt him but at the same time I can't pretend everything is fine and hide him the truth. I am very sorry that I'll miss him but I feel pain every time we fight and I don't have the power to stand it anymore. I need help. How should I tell him I don't want us to be friends anymore? Should I tell him that it is his fault or just take the blame on me? Am I wrong and I should wait trying to make my old feelings come up again? And what will happen when we are not friends anymore? He knows all my secrets what if he betrays me? Please someone help!!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 Have you any other friends who could support you when you decide to tell this boy that you want to end this relationship. He is a very possessive person and you are not a toy nor a possession. You sound like you know what you want. Don't let him guilt trip you. Don't arrange to see him anymore just finish with him and cut all ties. Change your number and get yourself active with one of your friends to take your mind off this. If you don't do it now while you have the frame of mind you could end up in a downward spiral with him and it could destroy your life. You will see once he is out of the picture how your life could be different and you will be free and happy. Don't worry about all the secrets he knows about you, it's not a good enough reason to stay with a controlling person. Do you have any drop in centres nearby where you could speak to someone who doesnt know you, they could help you to manage all this and you could offload your worries on to them in confidence. Good Luck, Hope this helps
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