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female
,
anonymous
writes: When I was in my teens I was not afraid to ask guys out and if they said no, it didn't really bother me or hurt me. Now after a few years and a few relationships in which I didn't make the first move, I find myself wanting to ask someone out but I feel that all that courage I had when I was younger has disappeared, I'm too afraid they will say no. I need some tips on how to approach someone after so many years of not having to worry about it. Yes, I'm a bit gun shy but any tips on how to make the first move on someone I know that if things don't work out I will still have to see in my daily life!!!!
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male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (6 December 2005):
 Hi,
This is not so much help in approaching a guy, but if you are afraid of rejection then I think you should get a book on 'Body Language'.
This is underestimated by people i think, but you can actually tell a lot about what someone is thinking about you just from the way they look at you, or sit facing you, or their little arm gestures when they talk etc.
If you have get some idea from someones body language about what they are likely to think about you, you can play the odds a lot better by asking those who give good signals, and avoiding asking those who dont,
A
female
reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (5 December 2005):
 When you see a guy you like, its always best to find a little bit out about him first. I dont mean stalking the man just finding out little bits of info so you know the best way to approach him. Find out if he has a girlfriend or not first, find out where he works and what he likes doing in his spare time. Hang around with friends at the places you know where hes gonna be. Try to catch his eye, smile and laugh with people alot this will make you seem friendly and approachable. Find an excuse to talk to him and make conversation making sure you are listening and interested in what he has to say. When you feel ready, just ask if he would like to go out one evening. The worst that can happen is if he says no but at least you would now know how to approach a man properly and ask him out. If he does say no then you can move on and find someone else you like. Dont let the rejection hurt you and dent your confidence because it may scare you into asking anyone out again.EVERYONE is rejected at some point in their lives so dont take it personally. Just put it down to experience, pick yourself up and move on.
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