A
female
age
26-29,
*oriDionne
writes:Ok so I'm terrified of losing my viginity. I'm in a relationship he's asked me to marry him but i know it won't last anyway i like this guy in school and i think he likes me back and i want to lose it to him. But im terrified of penetration. How bad does it hurt? My bff said it hurt like a b****! Does it? I dont handle pain well. Help me!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 Some girls feel a lot of pain, some just a little, and some , nothing at all.
But that's not the point , the point is that if you are terrorized by the idea of penetration and feeling pain, you are SO ,so NOT ready. Once you are physically , emotionally, mentally ready there is no terror , just the joyful, optimistic expectation of something good, and the serene consciousness that , should things be a littly tricky from a "technical " point of view, you and an attentive, caring, devoted lover will somehow work around it.
I'd say that to an older girl too, but in your case , 13 - 15 , no, just DON'T do it.
First, it's illegal. Second, even if personally I don't consider virginity as a " sacred " spiritual value to be preserved at all costs, it's not such a trifle either that you have to trow it away with the first horny schmuck that wants yours. Third, you are way too young, sex is an adult activity , not a kids game, if you handle it before you have reached the right level of maturity and responsibility, you are inevitably going to end up hurt, humiliated , embittered and confused. And probably, pregnant too.
I don't blame you for being curious, - that's natural.Same as a child may be curious to know what's like driving a car or drinking whisky- curiosity is normal, actually doing it is a very bad idea.
I hope that you are at least 15 , it is still early but at least it is a less sickening thought of that of a 13 y.o. CHILD having sex. That really gives me goosebumps. Let this type of things to some young female tribe member in the heart of a jungle- they do not know any better - AND they have a life expectancy of around 30 years, so they have to grow up real fast.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): Is it even LEGAL for you to have sex? I know of only a few states in the US that has an age of consent clause below 15.
This guy seems like he's dangling a fairy tale wedding over your head, wants to take advantage of you, and leave. STAY AWAY FROM HIM and do not have sex. Though you may be physically mature, such as having your period, you are not mentally mature.
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A
female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 its the most painful experience ever so be prepared for pain. But this should be thought through. Some guys will do anything to get a virgin. After they get it they wil leave. Lets hope u know what you are letting urself into because once you do it,there is no more virginity..it hurts like hell too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): of course it hurts..it hurts like hell.personally for me,i coudnt walk ok.wen i sat down it hurt too much.i dont know maybe it was his size. But be prepared for pain girl.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 September 2012):
 STOP!!!!!!!!!!
Listen to me!
Do *not* lose your virginity. If I was a good liar, I'd tell you that losing your virginity feels like someone stabbing you in the hoohah with a rusty paring knife and twisting for 10 minutes straight while you pretend to love it.
Truthfully though, you are *not* ready. You are way too young, and a 13-15 year old having sex is like giving a 2-year old a chainsaw or a loaded .44 magnum or giving a 6 month old a fifth of vodka and an Ambien. This guy telling you he wants to marry you? Really? That is his *penis* talking because he wants sex and is too young to hear what he's even saying.
Do NOT have sex. Seriously. Do *not* even entertain the thought of having it. If it takes fear to hold off doing it, then STAY AFRAID! When you're a lot older, wiser, and safer, and with a guy who is much more mature than some middle schooler, then it will be a completely different world.
What about pregnancy??? Wanna talk about pain? What about the destruction of every dream you've even thought about having? What about saddling your parents with your life-changing rash decision?? I guarantee you, and I'm not lying here, that this boy who you like who's singing like a canary about marriage now will bail on you faster than you can blink when a baby enters the picture.
Do NOT HAVE SEX. Just *don't* have it. Don't think it, don't entertain it, don't consider it, don't try it, don't talk about it, don't dream of it, just don't DO IT!
You have your entire adult life to have fantastic sex, and this guy now will be a distant memory to you.
By the way, in case I was unclear, DO. NOT. HAVE. SEX!
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