A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you know if a guy is being sincere (as opposed to the extreme of just wanting to sleep with you and then leaving)?Just for context: I was in a more serious relationship with this one guy, but the relationship didn't work out ultimately becuase we weren't as compatible as I thought we were. I thought I had a lot in common with this person when we first started out, but as I got to know him more and more (over a period of months, I don't know if I took longer than others...) I found out that he had just been agreeing with me and echoing my opinions in the beginning. So, we broke up, because our differences in opinion turned out to be pretty fundamental (plus he lied). But now I've met a new guy, and I feel like he may be doing the same thing. I'm still giving it a chance, of course, to get to know this person more. But is there ANY way at all to tell if a guy is being sincere and if there's a way to tell if he actually means what he says? Or am I pretty much out of luck, and it's a touch and go thing?I feel like I should know at this age, but I don't. But thanks for anyone who can help out! :)
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female
reader, hotmommanell +, writes (7 October 2010):
I knew my current husband was sincere when he didn’t rush me into sex, when he made the effort to be with me, and was considerate of my time and feelings. He also asked me a lot of questions about how I would want to live my life in the future, if I wanted kids, etc. But that was some time down the line. So all his actions added up to a man that cared and was in love. He even stood by me when my father was dying! Then one day he said he was falling in love with me, and the next thing I know we’re engaged. So I would say pay attention to how he acts! Guys who want more than just a roll in the hay make the effort. You don’t have to chase him. He’s an open book about his life, he includes you. He calls you. He treats you with affection and respect. That’s how you know.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (7 October 2010):
 The beginning of every relationship is like this. Two people getting to know each other, neither wants to draw any hard lines in the sand if they can help it for the sake of giving the relationship a chance. Gradually as you get used to each other and get to know each other better you will start to see more defined opinions.
As already stated, take your time. There's no rush. You don't have to decide immediately if he is "the one" yet. This is something we all experience and there is no magic answer to it all. Take it one date at a time and trust your instincts. Use your past experience, not as something to scare you for all future relationships, but to help you recognize possible signs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): If he follows up his words with actions. For example, if I tell you I wanna take u to a nice restaurant followed by lets say sex and the city 3 ;p...and then take u for ice cream out afterwards all while claiming Im doing this because I like you and I dont wanna just sleep with you and I stay true to my word...then Id hope that comes across as being genuine. Best to you.
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