Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2014): Just keep in the forefront of your mind that you are the one who is better off because you aren't with an abusive man anymore. Keep telling yourself that. Pity that woman because she is going to marry him and be abused by him. One day she will regret the day she met him and married him. If he is abusing your daughter stop him from being allowed visitation but enforce child support payment for her. Since he abused you you should inform the court of this if you haven't. The less you have to do with him the better.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 December 2014):
 If he's using his child, once you have established paternity and gotten appropriate child support I would suggest you have the courts intervene to have supervised visitation.
has he ever abused your child?
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female
reader, lucky03 +, writes (2 December 2014):
lucky03 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm meaning he has been playing games with me to get back at me by moving on with this girl and rushing things. He tries to use it against me. And physically abusing someone doesn't change because he's with someone new and that won't help him not abuse my daughter. She's being used as a pawn. He says she isn't his then will use her as a way to be the victim.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2014):
He is not doing this to "get back at you" in fact, I am sure YOU do not even enter into his mind as he moves forward with his life.
HIS life is not about you at all in fact and you need to let it go.
What about this upsets you for the baby? Personally having another adult around when he sees the child would give me comfort in thinking he won't abuse the child while his new fiancee is around.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2014): Real Talk I wouldn't give a - who he got engaged to this abuser is no longer in your life let him be he's going to do the same to her .Just raise your baby and forget about him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2014): The likelihood of you returning to your abuser has been eliminated. You still have feelings for him; even though you know he isn't good for you. You even got pregnant knowing you were bringing a child into an abusive unstable environment.
I think guardian angels formed a ring around you and that child. Your destiny has been changed; so that you will move on and have a better life. All you need from him is child-support. If he was an abusive boyfriend, fate stepped in and did you a huge favor. He can move on easily; because he has a narcissistic personality, and you were more into him than he was into you. If he was bad to you, and never got any help; he's likely to be abusive to her as well.
Now you will detach like you should have in the first place.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2014): The best way to see this is as a lucky escape.
He was abusive to you and your life would have been progressively more miserable with him.
You should pity his new fiance because she's about to legally commit to a man who is abusive and it will be much harder for her to leave when this relationship goes pear shaped. Unless she decides to suffer in silence.
It is a good thing that he's moved on because it helps you to move on from what was a bad relationship. It is bad for his fiance so don't envy her.
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