A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles, I'm hoping you can help me with this dilemma.Let's just say I'm quite handy with the computer and media-related arts. More specifically, I'm very good with photoshop and image manipulation over the years, as it ended up being something I picked up due to my current major in university. I never imagined it would be such a problem now.Without getting into useless details about what and where, basically my father has asked to me to volunteer lessons on photoshop to one of the leaders of our religious place of worship.This is normally fine and dandy, as the leader is very kind, and is genial and he's made the place we go to transform into a friendly place most youth go to- kind of like a community centre for everyone. No problems with that.However, to say that he is not computer-savvy is an understatement. He is fine with normal uses, but anything about media arts and he knows nothing about.Anyway, this is not the first time he has asked. Last time, because he knew nothing about the program, it took a long LONG time to explain things. Finally, he suggested that I just go ahead and do the thing he asked myself.Basically, (and I'm sure some people will agree with me), anyone who doesn't have an inner working knowledge of a specific skill tends to think experts can magically pull things out of their butt. He seemed to think this, and so I magically pulled miraculous things out of my butt- on my time and in between my studies. I found myself being stressed all the time because he'd call and ask certain things to be changed, or that I'd have to come to the place to fix them, and sometimes he called when I was in class!You can understand why I'd be reluctant to do it again. However, I feel like I can't NOT accept- my father is accusing me of being selfish and thinking only of myself if I complain about it- this is our place of worship after all. I can't help thinking that somehow if I say no it will reflect badly on the leaders' eyes to my father- yes, I am actually thinking that shrewdly.However, in saying no, it also makes me feel guilty, as volunteering my time shouldn't be this bad of a burden. However, last time was a catastrophe (at least on my side, I assume the other side was fine as he requests my help again).Is there a way to navigate this problem with dignity?Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): Thanks very much for the answers! I will try to be as diplomatic as possible when I talk to my dad. All of them mean well.
I think if I a lot an amount of time to teach, and then tell the head 'look, here are the times I cannot answer the phone'.
Haha, it's little, but I guess my vagueness wasn't vague enough, I wasn't trying to give the impression it's a church, because it isn't. But I suppose pretty much every place has the same challenges of balance.
Cheers, and thanks!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 January 2009):
 Sit down and tell you dad JUST how many hours you spend on it. Maybe then he can understand that you can not drop everything at the tip of the hat.
Let them know that they can write down what they want altered and as soon as you can get too it you will. On your own time. And after your obligations to your homework is met.
Or offer to volunteer x amount of hours a month to work on that for them when it suits you. Your studies should come first. Your dad is proud of your talent, but no understand of just how time consuming it is lol.
I made for a friend a really nice photoshopped picture of her and her family for her B-day and she was so thrilled that she told EVERYONE that I made those. It took me nearly 30 hours ( not in one go) to make it and that was something I was willing to do for a friend, but now some of her friends whom I do not know wants me to do some for them too, free of charge of course......
Good luck
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