A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of my best friends has recently starting going with a boy at school, and although he irritates me sometimes, he's a mate of mine too. I jokingly called him a tw@t the other day in front of him and my friend, because we were chatting and joking around. My other best friend came into PE the other day and said to my best friend that she'd just seen her boyfriend hug another girl. She then winked at me so I knew it wasn't true. My friend didn't believe her because she'd seen the wink, but my friend insisted it was true, and said to me, "You saw it to, didn't you?" I was getting changed at the time so I just sort of went, "Mm". Later that day I felt really guilty, and so I told her it wasn't really true, and that it was wrong of us to do that, and I was sorry. She said it was fine. Then the other day she was walking with her boyfriend and my other best mate, and another friend kept jumping in between them when they were holding hands and they kept punching the boyfriend. I thought that was a bit harsh, so I told them both to stop because it wasn't nice, and so my friend and her boyfriend both thanked me for that. However, it now looks like they may split up, as my friend thinks he is far too clingy and always texts her and e-mails her loads. I advised her to think about it, because I think he makes her happy, and so she agreed she'd think about it for a day or so. But two of my other friends (sorry about all these people) said that it's partly MY fault because of me calling him a twat that time, and they said I should have tried harder to stop my two friends jumping in between them. I defended myself by saying that I did manage to stop them jumping in between them, but they said, "Oh, it's other stuff too" so I said, "Like what?" and they said they couldn't remember! I thought for ages about what it could be, and I even told my friend about it and she said that was ridiculous, I was her best mate and she could always turn to me. But I really don't think I am a bad friend as I am always there for her because she has a hard family life. Am I bad friend? Please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Thank you, Mandy, that has made me feel a lot better. Thanks xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Hi Hunny,
No your not a bad friend, We all have a joke sometimes but you no when to tell the truth, Talk to your friend about all thats bothering you have a good heart to heart love and im sure your friend will agree you are always there for her.
Other people sometimes like to cause a little gossip if we can call it that and its left you feeling bad, But dont feel this way hunny, Im sure your a great friend TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): No, you're not a bad friend, but all this is rather juvenile stuff which should be saved for after school hours. You'd be far better occupied concentrating on schoolwork than all this relationship nonsense.
It seems that so many kids your age think of school as some sort of relationship 'pool' rather than a seat of learning!
Phil
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