A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this girl for quite some time now. I would say about a month. We do a lot of relationship type of things like going out, spending the weekend together, and staying in. We kiss, hug, cuddle... real basic stuff. However, we have not gone beyond that.How long does it usually take for you to get sexual with someone you have been dating (From the time of your first date to the moment you first have sex)? Our relationship is moving smoothly. I can feel that she is attracted to me and I also am with her, but this makes me wonder if she even wants to have sex with me at all and build that intimate connection...What are your thoughts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 The anonymous female reader put it the best way. Bow to her and the truth she said :)
A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Every girl is different, has different opinions and feelings about sex. Some girls will do it two or three dates in, others it may take a few months, some girls want to wait until marriage.I've been with two girls, one of them waited about four months, the other one wanted to after about the second date. All girls are different, you just have to be patient.But like So Very Confused said, you should have this conversation with her and see what her feelings are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): HeyI'll tell you my opinion from my own female perspective.Sex is important. Okay? we all know that. However, there is no 'typical' time at which people in a relationship decide to have sex, it is individual to each couple. Unfortunately, sex will only happen as fast as the slowest person... that is, if one person in the party wants to, and the other doesn't, then chances are you will have to wait. There is nothing worse than the feeling of being pressured into sex. This is a situation you must try to avoid. yes, bring up the topic in conversation, but the second you think she feels uncomfortable, drop it. if she wants to sleep with you, then she will in her own time. in most cases, the more pressured a person feels, the more they will withdraw from the idea.However, this assumes that she feels she is not yet 'ready' for sex for whatever reason. It could be that in fact, she does want to sleep with you, it's just a case of shyness, waiting for you to make the first move, or body issues. There could be a number of reasons.If you feel you have waited long enough, i suggest bringing up the subject. but GENTLY... like approaching a wild baby deer. be slow and soft, and she will open up. (this is also a good tip for when you actually do end up having sex.. ho ho ho...)But yeah. dont stress about it. I will try to avoid being sexist... but it's a fact that a lot of the time, men's brains work in a completely different way to womens. Men think of sex almost 10x as much as women. It could be that she is far to busy getting to know you and enjoying your personality and company to even think of sex. (I know that in my own relationship, when I say 'lets go to the kitchen' it means im hungry. But my man will pout and sigh and get all disappointed when we get there and I start making a sandwich, because he assumed that 'lets go to the kitchen' actually means 'Lets have wild sex on the kitchen table')good luck, and dont stressxxxx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 October 2011):
 my thoughts on this are that it's a conversation you need to be having WITH HER now a bunch of strangers. ONLY she knows how she feels about this.
every one is going to be different in terms of how they approach having sex the first time in a relationship.
IF she is a virgin it's a totally different game than if she is not.
Some people consider a month a short period of time. She may. She may not. Again only she knows the answer to these questions.
for me, had it been us, i would have slept with you already but then I'm an old non-virginal woman with much experience and no need to have a strong emotional connection to my partner.
my best friend... she's make you wait weeks or months longer... it's her way.
so you need to speak to your young lady. IF you tell me you can't bring up the topic of sex with her, then perhaps you are not ready to take your relationship to that next intimate level.
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A
female
reader, NennaHB +, writes (10 October 2011):
My first thought is yes, she wants sex if she feels attracted to you. And unless you decide to talk about it, you will both feel when you are ready. Basically, there is no timeline, it's up to both of you. I have been in a relationship where, curiously, we first had sex after 6 months and with another man, some time later, less than 1 month since the first date. As long as you both see it as a relationship and not just a one-time-thing, I think you are on the right track beginning by getting to know each other and stuff.
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