A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I have been having sex for almost 6-8 months now. Obviously staying within a "friends with benefits" boundary. I have developed Feelings and I am starting to like him., I am not going to tell him seeing I will be moving far away soon. The thing is, I'm curious if he has feelings for me. At the begining we both left it as a friends who "enjoy eachothers company" -his exact words- so it started to be sex then no word from him for about a week then he'd come around again and we would be friends until things would heat up again and it'd go back to no word from him...like a cycle.. As time has progressed He and I begun to do things like kissing while having sex or he would mention wanting to get to know people more or he'd have his arm around me and lightly be stroking my arm or text and have a conversations after sex. and other details but I am not one dive into intimate details. I'm wondering if men can develope feelings for women after having sex with them consistently? Or did I fall into the "why buy a cow when you get the milk for free" category.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 June 2015):
 I think he likes you but NOT in a "I want to date her and BE with her kind of way".
You have showed you are available for sex and company. That when he "vanish" for a while and walk back in you two can pick up where you left off, no drama, no commitment, no DEEP emotions.
With you moving FAR FAR away, I don't know if I would tell him that you have feelings for you. Because I don't see this guy putting a true effort into a LDR. And IF he REALLY had deeper feelings for you, don't you think he would have brought it up? Asked you out? Something? But he hasn't.
Two people having sex doesn't mean it will grow into more.
I'd say this, I get that having sex on tap (for both of you) is nice, but it also makes things more complicated once emotions and feelings creep in, and I RARELY think a FWB benefits the women as MUCH as it does the men.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 June 2015):
 Well it happened for me.
My now husband and I were LDR/NSA originally. He was to be boy toy, my second partner... he thought it was wonderful till he fell in love with me....
I think a lot of what allowed it is that I was not local and i was NOT in his face asking to see him or asking him how he felt or what he wanted...
does it happen? yes but usually the woman is the one to "catch feelings" and she's the one who gets hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontime to think what I want is something I must do for myself, I agree. Thank you! Sage :)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 June 2015):
 You seem to be in that too-common predicament wherein ONE party in a "FWB" arrangement would like their arrangement to be more like a real "relationship".....
Spend some time deciding if you REALLY want a REAL "relationship" with this guy (or, any guy).... and let your decision about THAT guide you for how to handle this predicament....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2015): "I'm wondering if men can develope feelings for women after having sex with them consistently?"
Very rarely. If he was interested in pursuing a genuine relationship then he would have done so before having sex with you.
"Or did I fall into the 'why buy a cow when you get the milk for free" category.'"
Very likely. From most guys' POV there's no benefit to take a FWB any further when they're getting exactly what they want from them but unfortunately it seems too many women still fall into the trap of believing they can f*ck their way into a guy's affections.
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