A
male
age
51-59,
*n1964
writes:I think that to be honest I may have more than one question in this subject but my main one is how to make love.I am a 44 yr old virgin and a girl of 28 (woman) has come into my life it was love on first sight sort of thing.But im very inexperianced when it comes to girls and what to do ( bugger i feel like a child around her).She wishes to take it up to the making love bit but im scared of hurting her or or feelings in any way as I dont wish to loose her or her respect.This is proberbly silly coming from and older man but please any suggestions would be appriciated.Maybe im just scared I dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Hello - Giving you perspective from the other side; I'm a 28 y/o girl who is crazy about a 44 y/o virgin. He is having the hardest time with image, but he is the most wonderful person I know. I am divorced, with two children, and I fear he may be wary of me for other reasons, but I just adore this guy.I'm not looking to jump in bed with the guy; I firmly believe that it should be in a marriage, and, having said this, as I am divorced, it was on the grounds of infidelity (not my part!)Believe me, I hold this guy dear to my heart and in the highest esteem. If she is anything like me, she will love the heck out of you regardless of the circumstances. Just talk with her about it. She will only respect you more for it. TRUST ME. Wishing you the best. :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Well, Mr. "44 year old virgin and not sure what to do"(!)At least you are not the hideous loser that this 44 year old virgin that wouldn't know what to do if he had the chance! You have an opportunity. Women apparently like you. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE ME! I understand. Some guys are just unable to find women. Not because they don't know what to do. They are not finding women because there is no mutual attraction. I AM FREAKING HIDEOUS! I understand that I am just "one of those guys!" I am a 44 year old virgin and I don't see myself losing my virginity in this lifetime. So, "44 year old virgin and not sure what to do"take this opportunity that you have and make the best of it. Because one day, you will find that you are like me with the really strong possiblity to you will leave this planet having experienced your hand and never the woman!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Well, Mr. "44 year old virgin and not sure what to do"(!)At least you are not the hideous loser that this 44 year old virgin that wouldn't know what to do if he had a chances! You have an opportunity. Women apparently like you. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE ME! I understand. Some guys are just unable to find women. Not because they don't know what to do. They are not finding women because there is no mutual attraction. I AM FREAKING HIDEOUS! I understand that I am just "one of those guys!" I am a 44 year old virgin and I don't see myself losing my virginity in this lifetime. So, "44 year old virgin and not sure what to do"take this opportunity that you have and make the best of it. Because one day, you will find that you are like me with the really strong possiblity to you will leave this planet having experienced your hand and never the woman!
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A
male
reader, SUICIDEVICTIM  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 wow... 44 thats crazy why thats my only question.. secondly why did you wait for a woman that has four kids, alert! theres a good chance she allready knows your a virgin. You should watch the movie 40 year old virgin its was actually pretty good, then watch some porn to get the basics down then just go for it cause lets face it in another ten years you might not be able to even get it up so times a wasting you cant be scared forever its like riding a bike your hardwired from birth to kno how to have sex
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (9 July 2009):
 ah fair enough you won't i'm sure she'll be quite pleased to know you're a virgin shows respect of yourself :)
that you've waited for the right one :)
best of luck x
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A
male
reader, jn1964 +, writes (8 July 2009):
jn1964 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for the answers believe me when I say that it scares the you know what out of me.
She has had 4 children and maybe i should have mentioned that before now.
Any way ill give it a go nice and slow hopefuly it wont go to badly.
But when I said I was afraid to hurt her I meant emmotionaly by saying or doing the wrong thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): I would think the gal will be very pleased to be your first. It might be a unique experience for her. Sure, it's reasonable to explain that it's all kinda new to you, although I'd imagine that she'll figure that out on her own. Most women would think it's all the more special.
And with due respect to the baddog, if you've lasted to this age without visiting a pro, I can't imagine a worse time to do it. "Any other equally serious endeavour"?? You're not engineering a bridge or piloting an airplane, you're hoping to make love. Mother nature will tell you the basics, and the girl will help you refine your technique.
Good luck, and have fun!
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 With the greatest of respect to you there is a serious danger that the fact of you being a virgin at 44 is going to freak her out a little bit unless she too is a virgin. I think that you should seriously consider investing in a little bit of time with an experienced professional so that you know what's what and you can put some of those first night nerves to one side. After all you wouldn't enter in to any other equally serious endeavour without and preparation / training. I'm aware of course that this advice will go down very badly on this forum but better that than you going down badly on the girl that you love and blowing your chances.
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male
reader, mister.m  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Get the whole virgin thing out of your head and adore her. The rest will come naturally. Even a fly knows how to reproduce, so don't worry ;)
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (8 July 2009):
why would you hurt her?
or her feelings?
why don't you talk to her about it first and tell her that you're a little scared because you've not done this before and you don't want to mess it up.
i'm sure she isn't going to get hurt or upset i am sure she will talk you through it and when you get into the moment and rhythym of things it'll all flow out of you naturally.
but talk to her first and tell her your queries i mean there is no harm in that. :)
i am sure she'll be happy to help you out.
Hope this helps x ilovebowsandcherries x
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