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*ittlelinda
writes:my partner and i decided to have a threesome and i left it up to him to find someone. i find out the day before it is someone he was with previously. i thought i would be ok but when we got to the room we thought a few shots would help calm everyone mine was tequila and i was on some cold medicine which i never thought would react with the alcohol. i should have just said no but i didnt. i remember taking a shower before we started and the next thing i remember is waking up on the couch naked with a sheet on and they were in the bedroom with the door shut i got up and left sent text to apologize to both and she text me back and said i hit her and called her a bitch. that is very out of character for me. now he wont talk to me. should i just give him time
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2021): Sweetheart, you didn't "lose" anybody. You gained back your freedom; and now you can now see him for who and what he is! He tricked you into giving him permission to sleep with another woman. Now he's ignoring you. That, my dear, was the plan from the get-go!
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reader, littlelinda +, writes (13 September 2021):
littlelinda is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your responses they were very helpful to me. i still havent heard a word from him. live and learn i guess
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female
reader, littlelinda +, writes (13 September 2021):
littlelinda is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your response it was very helpful
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2021): He conned you into being in the other room - he wanted her all to himself - if he loved you he would not want her at all - men who are in love don't want other women! What more is there to say. You are very immature and chlidish because you seem to be concerned he has lost interest in you and that somehow you are to blame. You have let him walk all over you, lie to you and manipulate you so of course he lost interest, he lost respect for you because you are a push over and let him do what he likes with you. Men prefer a woman witha back bone and a brain. I am sure this other one is preferred to you and he will now spend as much time with her sa he can - if she lets him. So of course he lost interest, he replaced you. You were also very silly to forget that once you give a guy permission to be with another woman they think you are a slut/ an idiot. and that means they lose interest in you too. You agree to anything because you are scared of losing him. Yet he is a nasty piece of shit who did not deserve you in the first place; He knows that and that is why he lost interest. Because he thinks to himself why is this woman - who has no sense and no self worth - letting me manipulate her, lie to her and use her like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2021): Here's a serious warning to you.
If you took a night-time cold medication with a sleep-aid; they warn on the label it can cause extreme drowsiness when mixed with alcohol. They explicitly warn you on the label not to combine with alcoholic beverages. Do you take medications without reading the labels??? You're over 50, and it's not the first-time you've taken a cold-remedy. The same warning appears on just about all of them; even on homeopathic cold-medications! Lest, of course, you purposely mixed medication and alcohol for a stronger buzz? You could have had heart-failure or a seizure! Certain cold medications are only sold behind the pharmacist's counter, because of misuse.
You must take all medications only as directed! Alcohol combined with liquid cold-medicine was a craze for awhile; but I don't think they were combined to knock you out. Instead it gave a buzz like a mixture of alcohol with one of those energy-drinks full of caffeine.
I won't say for sure, but there may have been something else added to your drinks unbeknownst to you. You completely blacked-out until the following morning. Yet, you can recall all the events that occurred up to a point. It doesn't seem like an alcohol-induced blackout; because you usually can't recall anything from the night before. He didn't bother to call it off; because you weren't able to participate. Here you are worried that he isn't speaking to you.
Forgive my generalizing here; but women over 30 won't easily give-up a no-count conniving-boyfriend no matter what he puts them through. If they're 40 or over, he can getaway with anything short of murder; because they might fear loneliness, or feel their options are limited due to their age.
He's worse than the average cheater. He did it under your nose, in your bed, and with you lying on the couch with the door closed.
He isn't talking to you?!! Girlfriend, what are you writing DC for? You're mature and experienced enough to know what to do about this nonsense. You've created a monster. Now he's playing head-games! You wouldn't listen if we advised you to kick him to the curb. You'll wait him out, and take him back with open arms; until he pulls yet another stunt. Maybe even be cheating with her.
Think clearly, he's giving you time and space to get your head right.
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reader, Alwin  +, writes (3 September 2021):
 "my partner and i decided to have a threesome" Really? sounds like you were convinced to be their voyer in this case. I've nothng against threesomes BUT never ever in a relationship, in my experience, when men sugest it, it's generally with someone he was already f... previously, be it a hooker or a friend, and it never ends well, never. Let this be a lesson to you. There's no reason for him not to speak to you, you should give him the boot not time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2021): I hope this post serves as an example and aversion to people who've recently submitted posts about having three-ways. In the imagination and porn videos, it seems great; but once it becomes reality, it sucks!
That's accounting for Murphy's Law; whatever could go-wrong, will go-wrong! If things don't go sideways the first-time, keep testing the odds and tempting fate until they inevitably do!!!
I think you ended-up on the couch; because they needed some privacy. Were you pressured or coerced into having a threesome, or did you do it just to see who'd be the third-party? If it was initially your idea; I doubt you'd let him be the one to choose your #3. He would most likely to choose somebody he's already had, or had in-mind. That's usually how it goes.
Excuse me...now he won't talk to you?!! He shuts the door to have sex with another woman, and you're concerned he won't talk to you??? I thought it was a threesome? Don't it always turnout this way?
How much effort did it take for him to convince you to have a threesome? If it was your idea, then it's par for the course. You went there, now you regret it.
Personally, I wouldn't care if I ever saw either of them again! It's easy not to speak to you now that he has your built-in replacement. Have you learned anything? Often a threesome is how they slip your replacement into the mix. If you're difficult to push out of the picture; your competition comes on the scene and the wedge is pushed in-between you. You're the third-person out. They're left with each-other.
Live and learn, girlfriend! Some sex-fantasies are best left to the imagination. Don't forget, you gave him permission to have sex with another woman. So he did! Now look who's left-out of the triangle!
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reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (2 September 2021):
 I think that it all sounds a bit iffy to me, to wake not remembering anything after only a few shots and some cold medicine, something is not right.
You recall the shower, then your next memory is waking up on the sofa with them in the other room. Hitting someone, then calling them a bitch is something i'm sure you would recall.
When you woke why did you not enter the room where they was rather than just text?.
Threesomes never end well, if you scroll back over previous threesome posts you will find that there are very few success story's.
To make things more complicated you agreed to have a threesome with someone he had previously been with?. Was she an old girlfriend? He could still have feelings for her, and you gave him the green light to sleep with her.
I hate to say it, but i think he wanted her all to himself that night, and that is exactly what he got because he got to sleep with her all night long while you were on the sofa.
I don't really want to go down the lines of you were drugged, of course this could be a possibility. Just seems strange to me a couple of shots and your waking up the next morning, something not quite right there i think you will agree.
After all this and what has happened, and leaving him in bed with her, and him not talking to you i would be inclined to call it a day and move on.
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