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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm 28 soon and a single lady. I've never dated, have no sexual experience, nor any really. I feel quite alone in finding a partner and a bit lost. Most of the guys I've liked have been 10-15 years older, I feel comfortable and share the same personality, interests and valuesI'm a bit lost at the moment, I really dont know what to do with anything in my life. im looking for advice in all respects from some readers. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (17 February 2012):
Please don't just fall for a player or a jerk.
Go outside, go to libraries, exercise, join an art club, and you'll probably find a good guy who likes all those stuff, and who might be compatible with you.
Expecting to find the right man in on a bar or a dance club is like expecting to find a diamond on a landfill.
You are still young, you have a lot to live, go outside and live your life.
If you like older man, so be it, just be sure that they want what you want. If you want kids on the future, that man must also want to have kids with you.
A
female
reader, herself  +, writes (3 February 2012):
you didn't say why you haven't dated. if there is no issue with that, try an experiment: resolve for one year to agree to a date with any man who asks you (who does not repulse you). a date is not a commitment, it's a get-to-know-you session. you don't have to tell people anything personal like you're a virgin. that kind of info is for people you've established some trust with and known a while. just start working the muscle for flirting and dating, and get the hang of that. for one year. maybe you'll wind up in a relationship, maybe you'll just meet a bunch of contacts, but you'll have taken the first step. don't use age as a barrier. say yes to anyone who asks. a lot of people marry someone who wasn't their type when they were dating. "keep your heart open and love will always find you."
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A
male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Hello,
Advice would be to keep looking and trying. Seek out exactly what it is that you want, and safely go about getting it. Get knowledge, of whatever it is that you want. Then use your knowledge, and as you get older, you will become wiser, especially once you have achieved some of your goals. Set goals in life, small and large. Have confidence and don't be shy. Be assertive, think positively and love yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): Be thankful you're not 28, with four kids by three long-gome losers, and lost.
Can't offer specific advice, just pointing out the advantages of not having sex too soon as a teen translates into better quality of adult life.
Better to have a clean slate than excess baggage, no problem with being comfortable with older compatible guys, better than shacking up in unhealthy dysfunctional live-ins with bar-hopping strangers, you're at a certain phase of life, very much an adult but also still young, take advantage of your freedom and do the things you'll likely be tied down from doing at forty.
Very likely by mid-thirties you'll appreciate advantages of adult single life. No rush to do anything, all I can suggest is try new things you might find interesting.
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