A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really embarrassed about this but I've never had a blow job or been masturbated by a girl before. I'm 27 and cannot get a girlfriend no matter what I try. But all my friends, even girls, have indulged in this. I'm really ashamed by it. I am a virgin as well. At 27 I should have had loads of sexual experience by now. It's horrible having to keep lying and pretending that I've done these things. Is there anybody else with the same predicament or, as I fear, am I really that much of a loser?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): Please don't think of yourself as a loser. I was divorced at age 40. I was overweight and woefully lacking in "cool" social skills. I was married for 16 years and was faithful so had no dating or social skills to speak of. I thought I was the definitive loser. In my first year after divorce, I dated about 30 different women. I only got turned down 2-3 times. Good batting average and it stunned me beyond belief. I was turning down more sex than most guys were getting and couldn't figure it out. I finally asked one of my dates why and she told me that it was because I looked them in the eye when speaking to them and was not just looking to get laid, and that I treated them with respect...as a human being and not just a conquest or a "mommy" to nurse my bruised ego. Don't focus on getting someone. Date (dinner, movie, etc.just keep it low key) with a focus on meaningful communication. Learn about and get to know each other and when the right one comes along you will both get hit by the love train and WOW! After my first year, I met the love of my life and we have been together 20 years now. I'm here to tell you it was worth all the pain, heartache, and waiting. Oh...and the sex...there are no words to describe how beautiful it was (and still is even after these 20 beautiful years).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): i think the best advice that can be given to you, is dont be ashamed by it, thats how it will get to you, and go out and enjoy yourself, think positivie and im sure things will start happening to you!!! you just need to get out into the world and dont be shy! have a laugh:)
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (2 November 2009):
 I'm 25 and have had two "sexual" relationships, but neither was willing to suck me or give me a hand job, even though I provided oral to both. I have never had full sex, only just happily serving these two girls without return.
But I have two friends, one 25 and the other 23, that have not even been that far. The elder of the two hasn't even been kissed.
So you're not alone in that, and heaven knows I'd kill for a girl to want me and to be mutually sexual with me, but I'm just trying to be patient. As are my friends.
But maybe you should consider getting out more, joining some clubs, doing some volunteering, grabbing some friends and hitting a few parties if you know of any. If you're overweight like I am, consider a diet and some exercise (I joined a martial arts class, for instance). If you're a little unkempt, get a hair cut and some new clothes. But first and foremost, just get out there and talk to people and then keep talking to people.
Heck, there's no shame in using online dating services either. I've had some mixed luck, with my recent date with a girl I met online turning into just a good new friend, but you'll never get a girl unless you ask.
And this is coming from a morbidly timid man with virtually no self-esteem to speak of, here. I'm just surrounding myself with so many friends that I'm learning to like me, then trying again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): When you get to the age of thirty nine and you're still a virgin then you may feel like a loser. I've only recently lost my virginity, and that was to a prostitute.
But it turns out it's actually not uncommon. I don't know why you and I and others like us can't get girlfriends. I have it on good authority that I'm a great guy, and I think I should have had tons of experience too. But it just didn't work out that way.
Maybe you're trying to hard. If you approach women with the intention of getting laid or getting head from them then I suspect they will pick up on that and they won't be pleased... to say the least.
So concentrate on making friends and socialising, not on getting head because you're approaching some arbitrary deadline. There are no rules about this.
And why should you lie? If anyone asks you if you're a virgin just stand up straight and say yes. If they laugh or make fun of you it's most likely because they are too. The guys that boast the most and talk the most about it have the least to brag about.
Take the pressure off yourself. It's not a race. There are no rules. You're still young, relax.
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A
female
reader, Mysti76 +, writes (2 November 2009):
You are in no way alone. You aren't the only virgin thats 27..Have you ever seen the 40YearVirgin? You just haven't been at the right place at the right time yet. You just need to find the right girl and eventually you'll get loads of practice. I'm sure whoever the lucky girl ends up being she'll appreciate your enthusiasm..some things are better waiting for..maybe you should look in new places..book stores ect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): First off you are not a loser, I firmly believe there is someone out there for everyone it just takes time to find them and I know it seems like it will never happen but please just have faith. For some people it comes quite easy to have sexual encounters but for some it just takes a little more time. Listen I've had plenty sexual encounters but never a boyfriend! So don't feel less than just because you haven't received a sexual favor from someone because I'm living proof no matter how far you go with a guy (or in your case a girl) it doesn't constitute a relationship. Try different things going to different bars, working on your social skills (knowing how to approach women) or even try online dating. There is no right or wrong way to do it, it just happens to work out easily for some and not for others. But just realize that and don't get down on yourself, just engage in hobbies to get out there and meet various people you're bound to meet someone who you have a connection with. Please just don't give up! Good Luck! xoxo
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A
male
reader, benny2692  +, writes (2 November 2009):
dude here is my best advice for you.
go to the gym
when in doubt flop it out
and remember this, i read it once and it helped me until my first time
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
And finds in your presence that life is worthwhile,
So when you are lonely, remember it's true:
Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Dude,
Type "Virgin," or "Virginity," in the search box LOTS of posts will come up.
Are you saving it for marriage or a committed relationship?
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