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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there. I'm 24 years old and I feel as though I should have a b/f at this point in my life. I am a grad. student and am working towards being a ateacher, and I take pride in how I present myself and feel I have a great personality. All of my friends ahve serious relationships that ahve lasted a long time and I've only had two past relationships (one was 3 months long and the otehr was a year) and it's been 3 years since I've had a serious b/f. I feel as though something is wrong with me. I've had guys ask me out and gone on a lot of first dates but they ahve neevr amounted to anything because of one reason or another. I can't find someone who I feel has the potential to be a really healthy partner for me. It makes me feel depressed. I feel worried about settling just for the sake of having someone to call my b/f, but I'm so frustrated I even am thinking that breaking up with my ex was a bad idea if I couldn't find anyone better than him. I know I'm at a bad place when I think about that. I'm dating someone now but he also doesn't have a lot of the qualitties I need in a quality b/f. He seems to me to be a taker and always talks about himself and doesn't really ask me questions about myself...I know I should perhaps leave him alone, but I think I'm giving guys I wouldn't spend more time on a second chance because I don't wnat to be alone...I know that isn't healthy, but I don't know how to get over this feeling so I don't make any mistake that is ultimatley going to hurt me...could someone help, please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I'm not shagging anyone in the moment, in fact, I'm not shaggin anyone until I get married ....I did get a pair of rats though which are fun...I thought that same thing: I need to find something I can care for that depends on me and shows some sign of its gratitude through loving gestures...I haven't made this current guy my bf yet, which is why I'm trying to decided whether or not to do that but really, at the end of the day, it's still a no...but thanks for the advice
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Hi Anom,
We all went through this stage in our life at one time or the other. You shouldnt be in a rush to look for someone at all. Take your time 24 is still a very young age. I met my fiance quite recently and most of my friends got married in their mid twenties some are already divorced!
What you should realise is there is no perfect guy but you need a list what you shouldnt put up with at all and dont compromise those standard just because you need to be with someone.
Right now might be the best time to engage yourself in other activities like a book club, sports centre, gymn.. or whatever excites you. You are bound to meet someone soon
Goodluck
Kelly
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Get a puppy.
You are looking for something, you don't say what so it is impossible to say wether you what you want is realistic.
Lets assume it is, then what are you achieving by settling for guys you really just don't want?
Do others see that you are dating this current guy? Then someone might WELL decide that you are occupied and NOT introduce you to their cousin Mr Right. It is hard to meet the right one when single but should be impossible when not. Or is your Mr Right the kind of guy who hits on someone elses gf?
Really, get a puppy. Or whatever else you can cuddle when alone and learn to create a happy single life. Being unhappy in a bad relationship if NOT the way to find love. Love tends to happen when you are busy leading your life and you see her, she sees you and then there is but one moment and that moment is gone if you are with the wrong person.
Take a long hard look at what you are looking for. Is such a person likely to exist? Then you got to find out were such a person is likely to be. Probably not in your bedroom where you are being miserable because your current bf is selfish.
If your Mr Right is a million in one chance then you got to meet a million people to be sure to find him.
And remember, a girl has to KISS a lot of toads to find a prince. Nobody ever said she had to shag up with a lot of toads. In fact most princes would probably avoid a girl who shags toads.
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