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21 and still a virgin, but lead a busy life! What can I do?

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Question - (15 November 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ddy_nicolas writes:

well,i dont know from where to start.im 21years old and im still a virgin.sometimes is quite embarrassing for me.i dont know but in any relationship i have failed..this is giving me a some depression.i mean,i wanted to to with somebody special.and the problem is that i have studied and i didnt think about this.and its quite frustrating because i know that that kids at 14-15 years old are having sex and i didnt.

im ready for this.but most of the time i dont have time even for myself.im like a atomic bomb when im talking about a relationship.with all my studies and education ,i cant face this.i dont want to go in extreme,to pay for a prostitute.

the question is:is it normal for somebody(aged 21yrs old)to be virgin?i guess that im old fasioned.but i will apreciate any replies.

Thank you for your time

View related questions: prostitute, still a virgin

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A female reader, baybay United States +, writes (1 December 2009):

baybay agony auntI know exactly how you feel. I was a virgin till I was seventeen now im 19 but all during highschool everyone was having sex there were no virgins in sight and I was soooo embarressed to be one I even lied a couple times how ridiculous huh! I wanted it so badly to have fairy tail scenery and everything. long story short I lost it and seriously dgaf it was not at all what everyone made it seem it was definatly not the biggest most important moment in my life

but trust me everyone wants a virgin!

just save it your probley meant to meet another virgin good luck :)

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A female reader, pancakes rule Ireland +, writes (30 November 2009):

pancakes rule agony auntThe right person should come along, and most people take it as a fact that when you really want to, you will find a way to make time for that special person, don't worry, it's not strange to be a vrigin at 21.

Good luck

xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009):

im also 20...and still a virgin....you are not alone...dont rush anything,,,every person has its own identity..you may find the right love at the right time...it can waits....its your choice...dont care about other people will say cause the more you worried about it the more you are stressing yourself..life is short..lift up dude...go for your dreams

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009):

im also 20...and still a virgin....you are not alone...dont rush anything,,,every person has its own identity..you may find the right love at the right time...it can waits....its your choice...dont care about other people will say cause the more you worried about it the more you are stressing yourself..life is short..lift up dude...go for your dreams

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

DoubleM agony auntMost of the replies so far have been from sympathetic virgins. That's good, but perhaps you might appreciate some input from a much older man who was sexually active at a relatively young (14) age.

My observation would be that it does not much matter when you begin having sexual relations. Probably better later than too early, because in my case, sex with young girls when I was also a teen, in retrospect, proved detrimental to my education.

Now at age 62, I think that I'm still paying for that lack of focus when I could possibly have been better gaining education rather than messing too much with girls. Even when in college, I obsessed with girls rather than with my studies, which ultimately resulted in my leaving school too soon.

So, for what it's worth, girls and sex are certainly an enjoyable activity and also a distraction, while education is more valuable in the long run. And at your age, you will have plenty of sexual opportunity ahead, especially if education provides you better income and opportunities in life. In other words, don't worry about it. You will have plenty opportunity when it happens.

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A male reader, eddy_nicolas United Kingdom +, writes (18 November 2009):

eddy_nicolas is verified as being by the original poster of the question

eddy_nicolas agony aunt

thank you so much to you all.

you know now im feeling much better..i have thought that i was weird.but thanks again.its been very helpful.

hehe...i have got many questions.hope that i will get your help as well.

its been really helpful,when i have thought that nobody will answer.so i have rated everybody 5 stars.^_^

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A female reader, witch-fire United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2009):

witch-fire agony auntIm also 21 and a virgin- nothing to be ashamed about. In fact my love life has only just started to kick into gear. Just concentrate with uni, then u can find miss right. Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

Don't worry I am 20 soon to be 21, I am still a virgin. Mine is more of a choice rather than lack of opportunity.

Same as you, lead a busy lifestyle, busy career, no time for men. No need to go to a prostitute. Try internet dating, a bit taboo, but it saves alot of time.

Oh and every boy I have come across, when I tell them I am still a virgin, they love it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

dont rush it. the more you think about, the more you complicate things and stop them from happening naturally.

when i was 18 (im 25 now) everyone i knew have had sex, but me, i had not even kissed any boy by that age. I worried sometimes, thought i was weird, my girlfriends would make jokes with me and all. but then a just let go of the worying. Then, when i was 20, i met a guy, fell in love (my first kiss, at 20!) and it finally happened. And it was great! (not the first time though, was weird...)

Just go out, have fun and don't think about it. Wait until you find someone that you have a special connection with, its worth it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

It might not be normal these days, but my wife and I were both 21 or 22 when we had sex for the first time. That was with our first spouses, as we both got divorced in our early 30s. Neither of us are sorry that we waited, as we have had plenty of time to make up for the lost time. We are in our mid 60s and still having sex several times a week and plan to for years to come.

Don't worry about still being a virgin and don't lose it to a prostitute. Having sex with a woman who you know just a little is much better than that. After our separations from our first spouses, I had one 1 night stand and my wife had 2 or 3 and they weren't that good compared to having sex with someone who we knew at least a little better than those 1 night stands. Even the first night in bed with someone who I dated only once before was much nicer than the 1 night stand. I would bet that those 1 night stands were even better than having sex with a prostitute, although I have never done that.

Sex with my first wife the first time was even better than the 1 night stand, even though neither of us knew what to do except the basics. We had been dating for several months before we had sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

Absolutely! I am 21 too and I am proudly still a virgin. It is not about when you gave your virginity but to who you give it to. Since you have yet to find the person, then there is no hurry to lose it right?

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