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13 year age difference an acceptable age gap?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2011)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Once both parties are legal, is 13 years an acceptable age gap? Some people say it's gross or awkward, but my parents had an age difference of 14 years (they ended up getting divorced, but not because of that...). WHat do you think?

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A female reader, Gold-medal Ireland +, writes (25 January 2011):

Hey :-)

I can speak fom a personal point of view here hun...

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 32 & we'v been together almost a year now & things could not be going any better.

Age has NOTHING to do with a relationship, so please dont let anyone tell you otherwise. I was 18 when i started going out with my bf; and i was well able to make up my own mind about the situation; once you understand that the choice is completely your own and that you're going to be happy about that decision no matter what.

I have been treated like a princess over the last year, and that has never changed. Naturally we're going to have different views on some things but not to the point that it causes any sort of arguements.

Like i said pet, age has no effect on a relationship unless one of you make an issue about it :-)

All i can say is, if you're happy; go for it!. Follow your heart


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A female reader, babyblack Philippines +, writes (24 March 2009):

babyblack agony auntnot at all. my parents has a 10 years gap and mind you, my mom is older than my dad but they ended up happy and had us even both of their parents did not agree.. as long as your happy, there's nothing wrong with that.. don't get eaten up by negative feed backs or comments, you'll just get exhausted..

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

tux agony auntI'm not going to pass judgement here, but most people will believe that this is wrong and that people 16 or 17 cannot make up their own minds and make their own judgement.. I'm not that foolish to believe that a 16 cannot make a good decision..

I don't see any problems with a 13 year age gap as long as both parties connect.. The problems lies in as the relationship grows. It can go one of two ways... A) You might find out that you have a lot in common and may end up being together for a very long time ...or B) You may feel that you have alot in common at first but as time progresses, you differences start to rear their ugly heads and break you two apart. Of course, either option can appear in any relationship whether you have a 1 year age gap or a 20 year age gap. It will probably be more common with larger age gaps because you would grow up in two different times with two different mindsets and likes..

That being said, you are still young and you might just find yourself out of this relationship because of Option B listed above and you'd end up with someone else in the end, no matter what the age difference. But you are more likely to stay with a guy at this time frame later if the age gap was smaller.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009):

Women mature earlier than men, so by the time she's about 25 and he's around 38 their state of maturity will be about equal. The older you are the less difference it makes. Age is just a number, but it's best if you're about equal in most things and that includes intelligence, sexual compatibility as well as maturity.

Let's say you're 40 and he's 53. You want to go out clubbing and he wants to sit at home reading a book. You get horny at night and he wants to go to sleep because he's already had sex twice that month. That's when a lot of problems will arise.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (23 March 2009):

DrPsych agony auntI agree with the first post, it depends on your age. If you are a teenager and the other person is much older then it can be a problem. Having said that, my husband is a decade younger than me! I am in my 30's and he is in his 20's. In our case we both had dated other people and had a bit of life experience before getting together, and that is one of the reasons why age-gap relationships can be a problem if one of you is quite young and inexperienced.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf you are truly only 16-17 then a 13 year gap is way too large. There is a huge difference between a 16 year old young lady and a 29 year old man. Once you are in your twenties it won't matter as much.

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