A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am going to start with the fact that I am very responsible and level headed. All of my friends joke that I am the voice of reason. However, I have an issue that I can seem to sort out on my own. I need some different opinions. I am currently engaged to a great guy. He is a stock broker, has a respected college degree, and very charismatic. We are to be wed in May of next year. Before I met him, I had recently broke up with my first love whom I dated for almost 4 and a half years. I truely loved him. I was told by many of my good friends and family that he was/had cheating/ed on me. I felt extremely betrayed and hurt. There was no way to know for sure that he had cheated on me, but I felt that considering the sources and the fact that there was a question of dishonesty was enough reason to break up. We were also young and I had decided to go to college and he had decided to get a job. I felt that our different ambitions would lead to different lifestyles and paths. So, needless to say, although it was difficult, I broke up with him.We have been broken up for three years now. We see each other probably about every three months. Every time I see him, I have a huge emotional rush. I feel like a kid again. I recently have been talking to him and have been surprised at how easy and comfortable this has been. He has told me that he loves me extremely and although he has dated others, he says no one will ever compare and that I am his soul mate. I have not physically cheated on my fiance, but I do feel guilty that I have been talking with my ex and that I have feelings for him still. My gut says that my ex is an ex for a reason, but my heart melts. I feel that I should stay with my fiance, but I feel wrong that I these feelings for my ex. What do I do???
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ambition, broke up, cheated on me, engaged, fiance, my ex, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): You should trust your gut.. People do stupid things all the time because they become blinded by their emotions. Imagine having a relationship again with your ex.. You would constantly be paranoid about his whereabout and what he's doing and who he's doing it with.. would you not? There would always be a question of trust and it would damage you both and piss him off.
Also.. if you're finacee leaves room for your heart to swoon over someone else, i would question your relationship with him, and whether or not you should really be with him. If you are trualy in love with someone, then you can't think of anyone else, and y ou can't be unsure of whether or not you shoudle be with him., It's not fair to our finacee. . think of how hurt he would be if he knew.. do you think he would possibly even end your relationship? I don't know..
Just think. And if you decide that you shouldnt be with who hyou are with right now, then i still don't think ou shoudl be with your ex.. that's asking for trouble.
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