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If he doesn't love me the way I am then why he can't make me the person he wants?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 September 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2012)
A female South Africa age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and i have been together for some time. He does not support me emotionally, physically and especially financially although he loves me. He gets whatever he wants from me, like sex, support, and whenever he wants me he gets me. He is financially stable and he knows that i'm poor and my background is not as his. He can tell me to change my hairstyle, my shoes, that i should buy perfume my 3 pants that i wear every weekend but 'WITH WHAT?' because he doesn't give me money to buy all these things he wants. Plz help because he is lowering my self-esteem. If he doesn't love me the way i am then why he can't make me the person he wants? Desperately need your advise my aunts and uncles.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you redcopper. U really made me realize that i don't have to change the way i am because of a man. I've notice that i'm not being unreasonable

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012):

I recently posted a similar question on this website, but from the perspective of a friend watching someone she cared about going through the same situation. What you have over her is that you realize that there is something wrong in your relationship and are trying to decide how to fix it which tells me that you are not only mature, but have a good amount of self confidence though he is doing his best to rid you of that.

You are young, you are smart and you have so many opportunities to meet a man who will love you for you that I urge you to do what you seem to already suspect you need to do. I know it will be hard, probably one of the hardest things you have ever done, and it will not be over and done with quickly, but in time your life and your self image will be greatly improved because of it. You will never regret your decision and someday you will look back on this as a learning experience. We all have them, but not all of us make the best of them. Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHe isn't lowering your self esteem as much as you are LETTING him lower it. Is it more important for you to have a boyfriend then you be respected and loved?

Because it seems to me like you are letting this guy WALK all over you.

The thing is from your question it kind of sounds like you think his behavior is OK as long as he PAYS for the changes.. Can't you see that that is ridiculous?

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