A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated for a year, but we broke up due to distance. It's been a year since we broke up, and I have dated someone else. Now we are both beginning new relationships. However, I can't get over him and knowing about his new relationship depresses me. I don't know why. There is nothing spectacular about him that makes him better than my other exes and other guys I know. The only thing that sets him apart is that we broke up cuz we had to, not cuz we wanted to. But we can no longer be together due to distance.We have met up since our breakup, and I was surprised that we got along great as friends, and that I no longer felt anything from him. But now that we haven't seen one another in awhile, I really miss him and I wish he were mine, even before I knew he started a new relationship. Feeling this way is preventing me from fully accepting my current relationship. I can't help but compare my bf to my ex, and although he treats me much better than my ex ever had, I'd probably go back to my ex if given the chance--even if he wouldn't treat me as well. Actually my ex was never a great boyfriend to me, but other personality traits have always really attracted me to him--for example, he is hardworking and family-oriented. I was thinking that maybe meeting up with my ex reminded me of the so-so way he treated me when we were together. So at that time I felt nothing. But whenever we are apart, I wish that things worked out between us. I recently had a dream that he told me he was getting married--and I was crushed.I don't want him to be someone I can't get over for years to come. What should I do? In case it's relevant - He is 4 years older than I.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 You cant get over your ex because there was no proper end to your relationship. You didnt have a good enough reason for ending it, you broke up because you had to, not because you wanted to. There is some part of your mind that where there's the "what if..." feeling.
Frankly, you're over analyzing the situation and romanticizing it too much. You're choosing to pine over your ex when you have a perfectly good boyfriend now, who you know treats you better than your ex. Its silly to say you would go back to your ex for this guy, if that's the way you feel then you shouldn't be stringing the current guy along. He's giving you all that you want and yet you're crying over the one that got away.
Remember, if your relationship with your ex was strong enough, you would never have had to break up because of the distance thing, that's a ridiculous reason for a break up . Its not even a reason, its an excuse.
Get over it, appreciate and cherish what you have now.
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