A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Any advice would be greatly appreciated.I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and we see one another every fornightly sometime weekly has he lives away with work. We get on great, I've met his family been invited on their holidays next January, he treats me, taken me on holiday and it seemed to me he must feel for me. Were currently on our 2nd holiday now and last night I got quite drunk and regretably told him I loved him, at once he went really cold and said ok that's sleep. I got very upset and started crying,and went downstairs to calm down,when I went back up I found him crying too saying he didn't want to split up but he dosent love me. today we talked and his backtracked several times he said there wasn't a spark then he said he didn't mean it and I put him on the spot and he definitely feels something he hasn't for anyone else and he sees me in his future,then he said he feels I want different things and his not ready to settle down and have children or get married but either am I! He also said that when he said what he thought I got upset so he only saying the nice things not to upset me? I'm his longest girlfriend he said he was hurt before nd he though he was in love but wasn't sure. What should I do am I wasting my time? Were both 28yrs old. Thank you. X x
View related questions:
drunk, on holiday, spark, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (15 June 2012):
 I am sorry you are in a such a confusing situation. To be honest with you, it sounds like your guy is not sure what he wants. He is not sure he wants you, but when you confront him about it, then he does want you. I think he sounds insecure and maybe immature too. Maybe you should ask him if there isn't a spark...why is he sticking around? Maybe you should give him a few days to process all of this. It sometimes stuns people when they hear "I love you" for the first time as the relationship becomes more serious at that point and they freak out. Ask him why he reacted the way he did and see what you can learn.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 June 2012):
Hi there. Trust is a big issue for him, so it's going to get in the way of commitment for him at the moment, until he learns to trust people again.
And that won't happen overnight.
He has a fear of being hurt, and this is no doubt getting in the way for him.
And clearly, it's coming between you and him also.
What really needs to happen now, is for you and him to sit down together, and have a heart to heart talk about what your expectations of the relationship are, and what his expectations are as well.
It seems that some things have been said and some have not been.
So all the more reason, to clarify these things once and for all, so you both know exactly where you stand with each other.
The point here is you both need to be on the same page.
The sooner you can sort this out between you, then you can proceed ahead and will have at least some idea of what direction you are going.
And also, it will enable both of you to make any decisions about the relationship if there needs to be a decision made.
Especially if you are NOT on the same page as each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, citadel  +, writes (15 June 2012):
Well you said you love him, now you're both at a new stage.
It'll be different and he may blow hot and cold. But you've set the temperature a bit higher. So put it on the windowsill in your heart and let it cool. Things sound good. It's all coming together in a rather natural common way. Nothings happened that hasn't happened to at least 200 billion other people. So no real worries. He's been hurt, ya, he'll deal with it. You're all in a panic, for today but life's regular stuff will focus you again. It was a moment, a special moment. The seed has been sown, let it grow. It will all is as it should be. Take care, give yourself a hug.
You've done well.
...............................
|
