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| | *urrfectionist84's profile:My name is Nichole. I'm 21-years-old, and I live in the eastern United States. I am currently attending college full-time as a Psychology major. I would like to become a licensed psychologist and work in a private practice, hospital, or university. I love every branch of psychology, so the hardest part will be deciding which area to specialize in! I love to help others, and I pride myself for being honest and genuine, yet sweet and considerate. |
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I feel like the scars on my back will turn my new boyfriend off if he sees them. Will it be a problem?
Q. My back is full of scars and my ex-bf used to look at it and ask whether I could get surgery to get rid of them and his comments always upset me terribly. I have a new bf now that has felt my back but has never seen it and always says how lovely i...
A. 13 January 2006: I'm so glad that everything worked out for you! See, I told you it wouldn't be a big deal! :-)
I have some acne scars on my back. I always thought they were something to be ashamed of (though I wasn't TOO insecure or self-conscious), but it t... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend so happy to be around me, if we're on "a break"?
Q. Myself and my longterm girlfriend are on a break at the moment (she asked for the break). It has been going on for a little short of two weeks now. I met up for a chat on Monday and we ended up in my apartment kissing on the couch. I suggested ...
A. 12 January 2006: It sounds like she isn't sure what she wants. Ask her if this feels weird to her, too, and if she's sure that she wants a break from the relationship. Point out that you respect her decision, either way, but that her actions aren't exactly ... (read in full...)
One joking comment from my boyfriend and I've suddenly felt a cascade of doubt and worry!
Q. Last week, my bf who I was planning to marry one day (!) said something that really upset me. He made a joke about me and how he 'doesn't like me' and it really upset me. I know it's not true and he laughed about it, but it made me so upset. Now I'...
A. 12 January 2006: Relax! He was just joking around and being a guy. He meant no harm by it. My boyfriend teases me all the time. Just the other week, his mom made a comment that, even though his previous job sucked, at least it's where he met me! He responded ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to do next. Can a guy fall in love with you over the Internet?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years but we have been drifting apart, always arguing, and the relationship is boring. No sex hardly etc. Anyway I have been in contact with a guy on the internet and he has blown my mind. We seemed to hit it off s...
A. 12 January 2006: You must break off the relationship with your current boyfriend, before the thing with the online guy escalates into cheating (depending on how you look at it, it already has). You are clearly unhappy with your current boyfriend, but it's only ... (read in full...)
My boobs aren't quite perfect. Is that going to matter to my boyfriend when he sees them?
Q. Hello. I am a 16 (almost 17) year old female, and I'm *really* self-conscious about my body. Not about weight, I'm reasonably happy with that, but it's things like my breasts, which I absolutely hate! I've tried to make myself feel better by looking ...
A. 12 January 2006: There's no need to get yourself concerned. Your boyfriend hasn't even seen them yet, and you're already worried that he won't like them. Let him make that judgment for himself!
No woman has "perfect" breasts. Some of us feel that our breasts ... (read in full...)
If I withold sex from him-will he want me more than just a "sex toy"? I want to stay in his life!
Q. Ok. So I slept with someone I thought I didn't care about. Now I'm totally in love but haven't said anything. He said he's looking for long term but doesn't think he can do that with me, probably because I just f**ked him like an idiot. Also, he ...
A. 12 January 2006: If you're failing this semester because of him, then he can't be a good influence, and he's obviously having a negative impact on your functioning!
You feel like the guy views you as a sex toy. That statement implies that he doesn't value yo... (read in full...)
Should I cut off contact with an old bf, even though my current guy talks to all his ex gf's?
Q. i have a good friend that i slept with before me and my b/f ever got together. i wanted to be honest with him so i told him. he said he doesnt want me talking to him anymore even though he lives 900 miles away.my b/f still talks to girls hes slept ...
A. 12 January 2006: No! Why should you have to cut off contact with your good friend/former lover, when your boyfriend is still in contact with his former partners? He's acting jealous, paranoid, and untrusting toward you, but he expects you to be okay with him doing ... (read in full...)
I don't feel one ounce of sexual desire when I'm with my bf. This is really frustrating for me. What should I do?
Q. i have emotional needs that are not being met by my b/f. i have tried to talk to him about it but he just seems to shrug it off. it seems that the only time he wants to spend with me is when he wants sex. That is a big turn off for me and i guess i ...
A. 12 January 2006: Your sex life will improve if and when you properly address the other problems in your relationship.
You need to tell your boyfriend how you feel. Whether he likes it or not, he needs to hear it. Mention the unmet emotional needs that he shrug... (read in full...)
I like this gay girl..so what should I do?
Q. ok, well..umm i like this chick Kayla, my name is ..well never mind. she is gay. i really like her tho wat do i do?...
A. 11 January 2006: You indicated that you are male, and that she is a gay female, correct?
I'm afraid that, unless she is bisexual, you don't have a very good chance of having a romantic/dating/sexual relationship with her. Sexual preference stays with a person t... (read in full...)
I lied and told him I was a virgin..the truth came out and now he needs space to think. Help me understand.
Q. I am 21 and when I first started dating my boyfriend I told him I was a virgin but really I had slept with one person before him. He has spent the last four months of our wonderful relationship thinking he was my first. But we are getting serious ...
A. 11 January 2006: Why is it so important to him whether you were a virgin? Was he a virgin???
(As a side note, it really nags me that it's considered socially acceptable for guys to have multiple sex partners, even at an early age, yet women are expected to have ... (read in full...)
Eleven months of e-mailing and flirting..I finally meet him and all he wants is sex!
Q. I have had a flirtation with a man for the past 11 months we finally met and he just wanted sex. After all our conversation and emails which seemed to say love. I am broken hearted. Any advice?...
A. 11 January 2006: I am inclined to say that this man is a loser. Don't waste anymore time on him. He made it clear what he wants from you, and you're worth so much more. Give your heart to someone who deserves it.
On the other hand, you call your relation... (read in full...)
Nervous about losing my virginity...will he fit in me?
Q. Dear Cupid, never done this before so here goes... I am a 19 yr old virgin and am beginning a relationship. I am really nervous about losing my virginity as I don't know what to expect. I get worked up about if he will fit in me as when I ...
A. 11 January 2006: Relax! Of course he will fit. Engage in plenty of foreplay prior to sex, and you will be well-lubricated. If your hymen is still intact (a higher likelihood if you've never used tampons), then it will break the first time that you have sex, but ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to think after my girl send me a pic of her boob! Was it a honey-trap?
Q. Hi there, Please help... I received a text last night while I was having a curry and a few beers with a mate of mine from a number that was unknown. It read, "Hi, do you fancy a $hag?" I ignored this as I am not into cheating and I lov...
A. 11 January 2006: I responded yesterday, but my answer somehow disappeared...
Anyway, to summarize my previous response, I think that you overreacted a bit, but I'm leaning more toward Bev's answer than the other answers--that is, you didn't react the way that you... (read in full...)
He has become cold...how can I get him to talk to me??
Q. im 31 year old woman who has been going out with a man for the past 9 months. he seems to hav developed cold feet since 17 december 2005. what do i do to win him back i love him deraly. he is not talking to me i feel like screaming....
A. 10 January 2006: Although he hasn't officially broken up with you (or has he?), the relationship is over. He hasn't contacted you for nearly a month, after dating you for 9 months. Unless he is dead, there is no excuse!
My ex-boyfriend would sometimes become c... (read in full...)
Why can't I forget him when he doesn't seem to like me?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months.hes 30, im 24. but after all he dumped me! i still love him and wanna be with me. but he doesnt like me that much! we had lots of problems in our friendship because he has never got close to me like other ...
A. 10 January 2006: You are unable to forget him because he was a challenge, and you like challenges. But do you really want to be with a guy who "doesn't like you that much" and who is unable to get close to you? A guy who truly loves you will love you on his own ... (read in full...)
I like him but he's dating my friend..what do I do?
Q. i really like this guy but he is currently dateing my friend and i am the reason they are dateing. what do i do?...
A. 10 January 2006: Were you interested in this guy BEFORE you hooked him up with your friend, or are you just interested in him now that you see what a good boyfriend he is being to your friend? Regardless, you introduced them, and now you must let them be! You must ... (read in full...)
Went limp - thrice! - when I lost my virginity... Could masturbation have been to blame?
Q. I am 20 years old, and am worried about what happened when I lost my virginity last night. I went limp during intercourse 3 times. I was able to last for a few good minutes between times going limp. The first time it happened was when we changed ...
A. 10 January 2006: I wouldn't worry about it too much. You were probably just too nervous, and like you said, your mind was beginning to wander. It's unlikely that you reached orgasm without realizing it. The fluid inside the condoms was probably pre-cum... (read in full...)
We slept together, but now I have stronger feelings for him. What should I do?
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years because I wanted to sleep with my good friend who i used to work with and have had strong feelings for years. My friend told me he felt the same way so one thing lead to another and we slept together. ...
A. 10 January 2006: You need to talk to him about your feelings as soon as possible. If you two keep sleeping together, but there is never any mention of a relationship, then he might think that all you want is sex, and nothing will ever become of this. If you choose ... (read in full...)
I feel like the scars on my back will turn my new boyfriend off if he sees them. Will it be a problem?
Q. My back is full of scars and my ex-bf used to look at it and ask whether I could get surgery to get rid of them and his comments always upset me terribly. I have a new bf now that has felt my back but has never seen it and always says how lovely i...
A. 10 January 2006: Hey,
Try talking to your current boyfriend about your insecurities with the scars. If he truly cares about you, and he knows how self-conscious you are about them, then he will be warm and understanding, and he'll tell you how beautiful you are ... (read in full...)
Sex a couple of times a year, no affection, and he blows up at the slightest thing I do. Should I dump him?
Q. I have been with my 39 yr old bf for 3 yrs. He is so unaffectionate and I am complete opposite. I care about him but when I try to talk to him about this he acts concerned, but his actions always remain the same. Sex 4 times a year, no hand hol...
A. 9 January 2006: You need to be with someone who is affectionate and loving because these characteristics are important to you! If he hasn't been affectionate and loving in the past, then he isn't going to change because it isn't in his nature.
I'm sure that the... (read in full...)
Am I doomed to fall for my ex's same old garbage again?
Q. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend who I thought was my "soul mate" (if that indeed exists). He has called me and text messaged me relentlessly for the last two days. What he says and what I think are two different things. I have tried to ...
A. 9 January 2006: No, you're not doomed to fall for the same old crap again, if you keep reminding yourself that you find it hard to believe what he says, and that it seems like he's always making up a story for everything.
If you get back together with him, the... (read in full...)
Advice on how to get my girl back, after she left for another guy?
Q. I'm 15. I just had my first gf and she broke up because she met an old friend she liked and they where kissing. I realy loved her. I can't get over her and I want her back. What should I do? ...
A. 9 January 2006: You must accept that this girl does not love you, and move on. In time, you will meet someone who truly cares for you, and who wouldn't ever think of dumping you for some other guy. ... (read in full...)
Can you love someone who is nice but you aren't really attracted to??
Q. Hi all, just a short questin and I really hope I can get as much feedback as possible. Thanks. My question is, do you think its possible to love someone or make a relationship last when your attraction towards the other person is very low or near ...
A. 9 January 2006: I think that you can fall in love with someone who has a great personality, and later become attracted to them physically even if you weren't attracted initially. Think about it. Many people have sex because they are physically attracted to their ... (read in full...)
I want to be more independent...any ideas??
Q. How do I get to be more independent? I don't like being dependent on anyone and at the weekend, my boyfriend threatened to leave me stranded somewhere. I wouldn't have been able to get home and I was very upset. I ended up begging him and it was q...
A. 9 January 2006: Your boyfriend shouldn't be threatening to leave you stranded anywhere. He knows that you don't have your own transportation, and he is using the threats as a way to punish you for not always being the calm, accepting, passive, non-confrontational ... (read in full...)
What made her change so suddenly?
Q. Here's a quick summary. Me and my girlfriend, both 24, were dating; pretty hot and heavy, then out of the blue she says that she doesn't want to lose me, but she's not ready for a relationship. We no longer contact each other and when we see each ...
A. 9 January 2006: No, I don't think that you're an idiot at all. You're just totally puzzled by the whole situation, so you can't help giving thought to it.
It does seem strange that her feelings changed virtually overnight. The best explanation I can offer is... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as relationship Karma?
Q. Is there such a thing as relationship Karma - I would love to hear anyone's stories and experiences with this. I had a boyfriend who lied, cheated, made me believe everything was my fault, dumped me and within a few weeks is dating someone e...
A. 9 January 2006: Well, I think that people must learn from their mistakes sooner or later, and that sometimes learning from one's mistakes involves a great deal of suffering...
Until people learn from their mistakes, they keep making them over and over, in relat... (read in full...)
Is it worth perservering with the girl down the street?
Q. hi i'm 17, and i've known this girl who lives down my street for about 4 years now. I've always liked her, but never did anything about it. I thought that maybe getting to know her brother (that is the same age my brother) would help me get closer t...
A. 9 January 2006: Maybe she doesn't realize that you like her as more than a friend. After all, during the four years that you've known her, you've only spent time with her in the presence of others (while hanging out with her brother, going bowling and lazer quest ... (read in full...)
When we were long-distance,, he couldn't see a future for us, but now he's back and he won't let me move on!
Q. I was going out with this guy for 3 months. Before that we were best friends for a year and a half. It was a great relationship. My mom liked him, his mom liked me - that kind of thng. He moved out of my city for a project and we decided to continue...
A. 9 January 2006: The most obvious interpretation seems to be that he hasn't quite moved on and gotten over you, and that he is contemplating giving things a second try.
The project did not work out...could that have anything to do with you?
Long-distance... (read in full...)
He talked me into anal on the basis that I'm still - technically - a virgin. That doesn't make it feel any better though!
Q. I am a 16 yr old girl. I have been involved with the same guy for 2 years. We both had are both sexual experience together. Ii went down on him but he is pressuring sex on me and I keep saying no. So now he has talked me into anal sex, saying I...
A. 9 January 2006: How can you love this guy? Honey, you deserve better!
Listen to your choice of words. First, he repeatedly tried PRESSURING you into vaginal sex, and then he TALKED YOU INTO anal sex?
He is taking advantage of you by manipulating you... (read in full...)
Any disagreements and my boyfriend walks out. Why?
Q. Hi i am really confused i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years he stays at my house most of the time if we have a disagreement rather than sorting it out he walks out and i dont hear from him for a few days he then contacts me by texs and ...
A. 9 January 2006: You should talk to your boyfriend and remind him that walking out isn't going to help solve your problems. Tell him that he needs to be a man and quit walking out on you everytime you guys disagree! Chances are that he has the type of personality ... (read in full...)
All we do is have sex when we have our weekly hook-up? I am any more than booty?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and we have had great sex together. I really love it but recently I have been thinking that it is all we ever do. I only get to see him once a week and we talk for hours during the week, but sometimes ...
A. 8 January 2006: Try talking to your boyfriend about your concerns. He might not even realize that it bothers you because you haven't said anything. If he truly cares for you, then he will be receptive to any suggestions that you might have of activities you could ... (read in full...)
He slept with so many before it is affecting our relationship now
Q. Hey, I need some advice about my jealousy over my boyfriends past. He has had lots of sexual experiences and slept with over 100 girls. Ok, he is older than me, but this really gets to me, I think that's just too many people! Anyway, that's o...
A. 6 January 2006: Don't do anything sexual with him without a condom. It just isn't worth it! What if you guys broke up, and you were stuck with genital herpes for the rest of your life, and you ended up passing it on to your future husband or love of your life? ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and I think my 13-year-old cousin is attracted to me!
Q. I just turned 20 and my little cousin is about to turn thriteen. I only see her a couple times a year and when I saw her over Christmas she said she had a nightmare and that I was killed and when she woke up she thought of killing herself because ...
A. 6 January 2006: I forgot to add that a great majority of 12-going on 13-year-olds don't know what it is to be in love, so don't take her words entirely seriously. However, her mention of suicide bothers me. If she keeps it up, and you have reason to believe that ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and I think my 13-year-old cousin is attracted to me!
Q. I just turned 20 and my little cousin is about to turn thriteen. I only see her a couple times a year and when I saw her over Christmas she said she had a nightmare and that I was killed and when she woke up she thought of killing herself because ...
A. 6 January 2006: Explain to her that you are flattered, but that the two of you are cousins (not to mention that she is a child and you are an adult), so while she can certainly love you as a relative, it isn't appropriate for her to be *in love* with you in a ... (read in full...)
Help us! My girlfriend is too small and I'm too big to have enjoyable sex!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years. and had sex about 5 or 6 times. The problem is that im big and she is small. What can we do, so that we can both enjoy sex, and not end up hurting her every time we have intercourse?...
A. 6 January 2006: Are we talking about big and small in terms of genital size, or in terms of body size?
I just thought that I would ask because this could make a difference in the nature of the advice that is offered.... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with my underage girlfriend? She says she's ready, but I'm not sure about the consequences...
Q. I am 20, my girlfriend is 15. She's said she's ready for sex with me, but I'm feeling like I'm doing something very wrong. I feel a lot for her and we're really happy together, but, I just don't know where I would stand legally if I have sex with ...
A. 6 January 2006: The fact that you're hesitant means that you shouldn't do it because in the back of your mind, you know it isn't the right choice, and you won't stop worrying if you do it! You're better off waiting it out until she's 16. After all, there are just ... (read in full...)
At it like rabbits?
Q. What is the reason behind increased sexual promiscuity in recent time?...
A. 6 January 2006: Contraceptives are more readily available, there is less emphasis on family, men and women are generally no longer expected to be virgins at marriage, people are postponing marriage due to education and career (which sometimes means more sexual ... (read in full...)
Dated the rich, the gorgeous, the funny and the sweet... But after almost ten years still have not found love!
Q. I think I may be incapable of falling in love! I started dating when I was 15 and now at 24 I have still never fallen in love. I have dated some amazing men gorgeous, rich, funny, sweet. But to no avail I never feel anything. My coworkers and ...
A. 6 January 2006: I wouldn't worry too much. It seems like we always find something meaningful when we aren't looking very hard, so STOP looking. You're only 24. You still have plenty of time. For now, just focus on yourself. Figure out what you want in a ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin. How can appear to be experienced at sex my first time?
Q. Hey I need help I am a virgin male. I recently met a girl, and she is an expert in sex. What must I do while having sex, to not appear that I am having sex for the first time?...
A. 6 January 2006: Do you love this girl? Are you ready for sex?
If so, then BE HONEST with her! So what if you are a virgin! You shouldn't have to pretend to be someone or something that you're not. If she cares for you, then she won't mind that you're a virgin... (read in full...)
What should I get my boyfriend for valentines day? Headache pills? ;-)
Q. i now its a little early to be thinking about this but what should i get my boyfriend for Valentines Day? what are you guys getting and hoping to get from your boyfriends this Valentines? i was thinking ab...
A. 6 January 2006: You don't talk to each other at all, except on the phone?! It sounds like you two need to arrange a special date in the near future! Are you in a long-distance relationship?
Well, in any case, when you talk to him on the phone, try to get his ... (read in full...)
They say my girl is "flighty"... What does it mean!?
Q. i like this girl at work but my work mates say that she is to flighty what dose this mean...
A. 6 January 2006: Someone who is flighty behaves unpredictably and is irresponsible, scatterbrained, or absent-minded.
If you really like this girl, then go for it! Who cares what your coworkers say. They could be totally wrong about her! You'll need to find out... (read in full...)
She always has an excuse not to see me. Is it because there's someone else?
Q. Hey, The problem is I havent seen my girlfriend for around 2-3 weeks now. I've asked her to come over to my house lots of times; she seems to always have an excuse not to! I'll explain the situation: I usually see my girlfriend every Saturday w...
A. 6 January 2006: There may or may not be someone else in the picture. There is no way of knowing for sure unless you ask her yourself. It seems to me that perhaps she would like some time off from the relationship. If so, then she's being pretty rude by not being ... (read in full...)
What should I get my boyfriend for valentines day? Headache pills? ;-)
Q. i now its a little early to be thinking about this but what should i get my boyfriend for Valentines Day? what are you guys getting and hoping to get from your boyfriends this Valentines? i was thinking ab...
A. 5 January 2006: It's never too soon to start planning...
How long have you guys been dating?
Valentine's Day is also my boyfriend and I's one-year anniversary, so it'll be quite the special occasion and will require some careful thought and planning. I'll ... (read in full...)
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