A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi all. i want to get rid of my iud because of painful side effects. i would like to get the essure procedure which is permanent.my boyfriend of 4+ years doesnt want me to get the procedure but i dont understand why.we have had numerous talks and we are not getting married. we are not having children (or at least he says not now). he says he may want them in a couple of years but i wont. i like kids but im thinking theyre not for me. i dont like the idea of being pregnant ( the weight gain, the pain, the pregnancy, the labor, the crying, the stress none of it!)what should i do? im not throwing away our relationship for something he doesnt even know if he will or wont want one day. however, im the one on birth control and dont want to be anymore. does anybody understand why he doesnt want me to get it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): He could think you are still young to decide you don't want children, feelings change. You may stay the same and never want children, but what if you don't?
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 I am a bit lost here.... who's body is it anyway? YOURS. You have to suffer with the side effects, You have taken the initiative and gotten birth control.
Make an appt with your gynae or healthcare provider and have the IUD removed and then go onto another form of contraception which gives you less side effects.
You bf is using this issue as a form of controlling you.
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A
female
reader, lucy.whittaker  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Hey,Sounds like he hopes that you'll change your mind one day about kids. Are you really sure this is what you want? How can you be sure that one day in the future you may feel differently about children and then regret having the procedure done. Have you exhausted all other options for birth control? Because it might be a good thing to go and talk to your doctor and get his/her advice. There are loads of different forms on contraception, and some of them are semi-permanent, which sounds like it might suit you.If you really are sure, and have sought medical advice and really, genuinely will never want children, then I guess he should support you. But bare in mind that in the future he might want a baby and a family, and you've denied him that path, so he might not be able to stay with or be truly happy if he does. At the end of the day it's your body and your life, but you have to acknowledge that it's a very difficult thing to be sure about, for a man or a woman, and either/both of you may change your mind about having a family and realise it's too late.Hope it works out,Lucy XxX
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