Do I quit my marriage altogether? Confront him then quit? Help!!!
Q. I am a 24 year old, I have been married for just over 2 years and in a relationship with my husband for just over 7 years. We dated young and married young, but we were both experienced sexually with others. What I mean to say is that we weren’t ...
A. 4 April 2009: Ambrosia, having just read back through your original posting plus all the responses plus yours i think it might be a great idea to log onto this website and let him read what you have written and read the responses from all the aunts. Then wait ... (read in full...)
What the hell is a married man doing in gay bars anyway?
Q. I am 23 and have just broken up with my boyfriend of 6-months (he's 34 years old). I broke up with him after finding out he was married with two children; I feel disgusted and sick and have self-loathing. We met in a gay bar that's popular loca...
A. 18 March 2009: first make sure he is married, Seeing a man waliking around with a lady and 2 children does not automatically equal married.
I am often out with relatives/friends etc and people could easily jump to conclusions. 2nd this guy may well be gay a... (read in full...)
I'm gay and don't want to be!
Q. So I'm 19 years old. I have had a tough, tough life. My Mother had me at 14, she was a drug addict and and alcoholic. So therefore I was adopted by a single woman I lived with her for pretty much all of my childhood during that childhood I was ...
A. 18 March 2009: Congratulations you on managing to overcome the sad start to your life. But mate, that's exactly what it was, the start. You have years ahead of you to enjoy and love life.
As mentioned before, you might just have to find 'you' so don't la... (read in full...)
I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love.
Q. I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love. I've never liked it (who does!) but lately am finding it more and more difficult. It just shatters me and I almost fall to pieces. I feel like I'm no...
A. 16 March 2009: it seems there is no answer to your problem. You consider twice a week not enough, he considers it enough. Let's back track a bit. You are feeling miserable because you feel rejected, right? So let's suppose he listens and has sex whenever you ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do because I have a girlfriend,
Q. Well I need some advice, I just turned 18 and for my party my friends and I went down to my summer house to have a party. I have never thought of my friends romantically nether girls nor guys, but something really weird happened. I'm not gay, and ...
A. 16 March 2009: act friendly, the way you were before the 'night' and if he asked just say you're really not sure what happened but you're not looking to repeat the expierence with him or any other male. But you wish to continue the friendship.
good luck x x ... (read in full...)
My gay b/f says he has always seen his future as being with a woman?
Q. Hey I have a problem and I really need help. I have a boyfriend that is Bi.(I am gay by the way.) We have been together for little over one year. We are having a little issue with commitment. He tells me that he loves me, but he isn't sure if he can ...
A. 16 March 2009: well at least he's being honest with you. I'm not so sure he's is being realistic with himself though. If he loves you, and you sound as though you have a lovely relationship, does he really think he'll just be able to walk away from you?
Maybe... (read in full...)
My community and religion do not accept gay people, what do I do?
Q. can any body help me with this ugly situation? well it all started when i was 14 back in the school i notice that i like guys and enjoy chating with them all the time but during that time i never know exactely what is wrong with me i thought ...
A. 12 March 2009: Religion and community play a large part in many peoples' lives and can make it very difficult to be yourself as this often means moving away from your family and community. The good news is you are not alone in having this problem. Even in the ... (read in full...)
Should I start practicing to like girls?
Q. another big problem with me is that almost those that are attracted to me are seems to be straight guys, i like sexy straight guys so much but i don't like female guys and i don't wish to move with them infact i hate their way of behaving as am a ...
A. 12 March 2009: I am sorry to hear you feel this way. Mate you cannot change who you are. So really it is a case of really answering this, do you believe you have to right to happiness?
You are concerned abut the impact you're sexuality will have on your fam... (read in full...)
I am starting to have physical attraction to a female friend
Q. For the past few months i've developed a rather strong physical attraction to one of my female friends. I've never ever been attracted to a girl or even thought about it and always simply liked guys. I was freaked out by my feelings at first but i ...
A. 12 March 2009: Sometimes this happens, for me it never happened until i was 32! and I thought i had some kind of hormonal problem. It turned out I was just a late developer and had the most magical relationship with a lady for 4 years. You might be gay and you ... (read in full...)
I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love.
Q. I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love. I've never liked it (who does!) but lately am finding it more and more difficult. It just shatters me and I almost fall to pieces. I feel like I'm no...
A. 9 March 2009: It helps loads reading your responses to the answers as it builds a clearer picture. I feel you are both only considering how 'you' feel. You say your the one who has to suffer. Maybe he considers having sex more than he wants is suffering to ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's sexual past is killing me, please help!
Q. I recently asked my girlfriend how many people she has slept with and she said 6. Than a few weeks later she told me the truth of 14. She told me she made big mistakes in high school and shes not what she use to be. Yes, she has definitely changed ...
A. 9 March 2009: The past is called the past for a reason, it's gone and we cannot change it. You need to look at the wonderful girlfriend you had now and accept that she had a life before you came into it. You will ruin your relationship if you cannot see past ... (read in full...)
After losing 80lbs my husband sees me as a new woman and is suggesting outrageous sexual acts!
Q. Well first if all I have lost 80 lbs from size 24 to a 10 so far and married for almost 21 years, he told me a month ago he had fallen all over again. He has spoiled me rotten for the past month which he has never done in 20 years. We have been ...
A. 9 March 2009: ~Congratulations on your weight loss.
Yes you can fall in love again, I expect the weight loss has given you confidence and so your sex life has taken off, maybe your social life too. I think you have rekindled the old magic that first brought ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether I should tell him and explain why I did it, or keep it hidden.
Q. Little advice here please! I had an abortion last year and only told my best friend, and sister. They encouraged me to have the abortion, and at the time I thought it was for the best. I was in the middle of exams and just weren't ready for a baby. ...
A. 9 March 2009: Poor you, it must have been difficult to come to your decision and even now things are stressful.
your boyfriend might be a 100% against abortion but it is not him who has to carry and change his life plans for a unplanned baby. His opinion ... (read in full...)
Threesome with partner & friends?
Q. My partner Mark and I have been together for a few years now. About a year ago, we were approched by one of my friends for a threesome. After considering pros and cons, we decided not to gof or it for the sake of our relationship. Ho...
A. 9 March 2009: don't envolve friends, I think it's a big mistake as you or your partner could get jealous of a 'friend'. Don't ruin what seems like a lovely relationship. Keep the spice outside your friendship circle. You do not need to see strangers again so ... (read in full...)
Do I quit my marriage altogether? Confront him then quit? Help!!!
Q. I am a 24 year old, I have been married for just over 2 years and in a relationship with my husband for just over 7 years. We dated young and married young, but we were both experienced sexually with others. What I mean to say is that we weren’t ...
A. 8 March 2009: In all other respects he's a great guy? The porn is a big issue for you but, should he really give it up because you don't like it? Maybe on this issue you should respect that as individuals we don't always agree with each other. We do not always ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to take more pride in his appearance and diet?
Q. Hi there. I am 33 years old with an 11 year old son. My husband's 35. Our son's doing great in high school, and gets great marks in all his work. When I met my husband he always kept himself in good physical shape, had a toned, lean body and wa...
A. 8 March 2009: maybe suggestion some new fun activities that you could all do together that would help you all get fit and be out of the house.
Or get out the old photographs of you and your man. As you're looking through comment about how sexy he was then, It... (read in full...)
I'm a bit apprehensive being left on my own...
Q. This is going to sound really stupid but here goes... I am 20 years old, and my parents are going away for a month to the other side of the world.. I am feeling a bit nervous about being myself.. me being on my own during the night. I have always ...
A. 8 March 2009: Firstly 5months is not time at all when we loose someone we love. Grief has no time limits so crying for your loss if normal after years let alone this short amount of time. As for being alone and scared, again very normal feelings even for people ... (read in full...)
I can't function right now because my father was released from prison!
Q. Okay I have a very serious problem which in effect could ruin my life (hope that dosent sound too drastic!) As a little girl, my father was horrendous. He was a drunk who beat my mum up all the time. When I reached the age of 6 I started to stand up ...
A. 8 March 2009: I am sorry your dad being released has caused you so much distress. I think it's time to write your dad a letter telling him how much damage he has caused you and your mum. Even if you never post the letter write it. Tell yourself daily that he ... (read in full...)
I am so confused... I think I'm gay but I don't want to be...
Q. I am a 13 year old boy, when I masturbate, I think about boys feet. I know I have a foot fetish. When I look at girls they don't turn me on... I tried to watch a hot girl on tv and masturbate but I couldn't, Am I gay? I really don't want to be...
A. 7 March 2009: slow down a minute....... Your last response sounds like all doom and gloom. Just wait a minute. You are 13 and have years yet before worrying about what you will or will not be when you are a man.
No-one knows the future babe, maybe just may... (read in full...)
I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love.
Q. I am really struggling with how to deal with rejection or sexual disinterest from the one I love. I've never liked it (who does!) but lately am finding it more and more difficult. It just shatters me and I almost fall to pieces. I feel like I'm no...
A. 7 March 2009: Not a lot to say, he knows how you feel. You obviously love him or you wouldn't feel so devastated with his 'rejection' he has a lower sex drive than you. Twice a week really isn't so terrible. My question would be do you still cuddle or kiss ... (read in full...)
Is going on the pill at 16 normal?
Q. ive been married to my wife for over 20 yrs. She was engaged to a guy before she met me, she also went on the pill for him at the age of 16. This is crucifying me after all these yrs. Can someone help me? Is this a normal age to go on the pill? I ...
A. 7 March 2009: Simple answer YES. Your wife showed a maturity at her young age to protect herself against an unwanted pregnancy. Sometimes people merely go on the pill to control irratic periods, to control bad period pains and sometimes they calm acne. Many ... (read in full...)
Have I created the impression I am available and easy??
Q. I met this guy at his families hairdressers. I could tell he liked me by the way he looked at me and the questions he was asking. He and his family know my current boyfriend but I am not happy. this guy has brought up twins on his own with the ...
A. 7 March 2009: I doubt that you have given that impression. You just sound overly worried about how he might view you and so are jumping to conclusions. If he was talking and looking at you as though he fancied you, he might be reluctant to phone you because he ... (read in full...)
We had a heated argument and she said to let it go. Should we?
Q. I've been seeing a lady for several months now. We recently got into an heated argument, very rare for us. We didn't talk for several days and when we did we ended up starting a conversation that to me seemed like it was long overdue and very ...
A. 7 March 2009: Can you let it go or do you think things need discussing? You and only you know how you work. Personally i store hurts and issues that should be discussed. And yes they eventually surface, sometimes years later. If you feel things need finishing, ... (read in full...)
I feel like my friend has chosen her other friend over me!
Q. ok a different type of relationship problem... I haven't seen my friend in a number of weeks and i'd organised to go out with her tonight, thing is another friend of hers came home from france as a "surprise" (my friend last seen her friend 1 week ...
A. 7 March 2009: I can understand you're upset however, the surprise friend probably did not mean to upset all the plans. I cannot understand why you were not invited along to the new venue. You don't say if the surprise arrival is home for good or just for a ... (read in full...)
She wants to end the affair, do I end the gifts?
Q. I have been having an affair with my personnel assistant (PA) for the last 3 years. I gave her preferential treatment in terms of promotion, gifts, conference trips and salary. At the start of the relationship I thought she was going with me for ...
A. 7 March 2009: You cannot take back what you have already given. You gave with a good heart, surely to take them back is just being mean. I am not sure if you or your lady friend are married or if its both of you. If its you then are you being fair to expect ... (read in full...)
I'm finding my male friend attractive. Am I gay?
Q. i am male, thing is i like girls and have had some relationships, but recently my best friend (male), has been looking very attractive to me, but i fear he wont open up, cos i think he is homophobic, i am confused am i gay or what?...
A. 7 March 2009: It's difficult to say when you have given such a small about of information. It'd be easier to answer if you had said if you've experienced these feelings before, how long have you felt this way? Do you actually fancy him or just think he's ... (read in full...)
At times I find myself hating her... should I call it a day with her?
Q. I have been with my girl 6 years on and off. From the start she has hidden things like texting ex's(denied for 1 year until he told me), joining dating sites, calling me by the wrong name, phone calls from males and then lies as she's unaware I'm ...
A. 6 March 2009: move on mate, get someone who gives your relationship as much as you do. The longer you let this lady play you for a fool the worse her behaviour will become. I think you have given it long enough. Good luck for the future xx... (read in full...)
I don't feel I'm near ready to have sex yet... what will I do?
Q. I am underage for haveing sex be me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 months now and I told him if we get any time alone on him birthday we can do but the thing is.. that it's the first time for both of us and I don't know what to do and ...
A. 6 March 2009: good answer, I think you and your guy should wait. Your viginity is not something you give away as a birthday present. You sound like you love your boyfriend, When the time is right you wont have to plan a day. it'll happen natrually. Don't rush ... (read in full...)
Everyone else seems normal and I don't know what's wrong with me!
Q. I don't know whats wrong with me. I feel like bursting into tears all the time for no reason. I don't want to go out with my friends anymore and my mood swings are so bad i just want to give up on everything. I get so many spots now and i never us...
A. 6 March 2009: Go back to your doctor mate and get the pill changed. Another thing that worries me is that you are only 14 and on the pill. Maybe this is the problem. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you for relationships and being on the pill. ... (read in full...)
I don't see us surviving this rocky patch. I'm pregnant and I'm scared.
Q. hi im a bit scared. im 21 i have 2 beautifull girls who i love more than anything. i found out i was pregnant last week, my relationship is rocky. he doesnt take no blame 4us breaking apart and wont do anything 2 try and save our 5 year ...
A. 6 March 2009: Talk to him babe, tell him exactly how you're feling. That you are frightened that your relationship will not survive. Ask him what he is not happy with and how together you can try to build on what you already have. You'll be in a beter place to ... (read in full...)
Can my husband investigate into my computer?
Q. Hi, I'm going on a trip, and would like to know if my husband can get into my computer to find sites I've been on. I have a password and erased my history, but can he bypass it all to find out everything? I once saw a show about computer forensi...
A. 6 March 2009: As said already, it really depends on how much of a computer whizz he is. It might be a good idea to visit sites that would not cause problems so he finds something in your history.
Lesson learnt here mate, go to internet cafes to view things y... (read in full...)
Should I talk to her about things? Or let it go?
Q. I have made out with girls before and thats no big deal. well around a week ago or something a real good friend and i made out,well she for sure likes girls and its a toss up for me. well we kissed again last night and it was a little more hot and ...
A. 6 March 2009: I'm puzzled, talk to her about what? You have kissed on two occassions? Seems like this is building up to something. All you need to decide is, do you want her to be your girlfriend or your friend?
If it's just playing around to you and you want... (read in full...)
Would guys be repulsed by my body?
Q. Hi Guys, This may seem stupid but I've got a problem. I'm quite a big girl well actually I'm fat and that I have accepted, but when it comes to attention from men etc I can't handle it and get all self concious as I can't get over the fact if they ...
A. 5 March 2009: Babe if someone chats you up, has and forms a relationship with you, take my word for it, there is no way on earth they will be put off by what's under the wrapping.
We choose people we fancy and therefore we want the whole package. Be happy be... (read in full...)
What exactly is "taking it slow?"
Q. Let me start by explaining myself or rather my past. I knew my ex-wife for 10 years, married 7. 4 years into my marriage she broke a few of my core values. This created a loveless marriage for three years until it ended. I had one relationship ...
A. 5 March 2009: slow means something different to everyone, there is no one answer to this questions. The only way to know is to ask her. I also feel from your letter that the otherlady you work with is still under your skin. I think you need to step back and look ... (read in full...)
I am so confused... I think I'm gay but I don't want to be...
Q. I am a 13 year old boy, when I masturbate, I think about boys feet. I know I have a foot fetish. When I look at girls they don't turn me on... I tried to watch a hot girl on tv and masturbate but I couldn't, Am I gay? I really don't want to be...
A. 4 March 2009: No-one knows what the future will be mate. You might be gay, you might just be experiencing new things. right now just carry on as you are. If in time you are gay then it really wont matter and if you are straight or bi then that'll be ok to. You ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I still love him, or if he ever loved me...
Q. I found out last year my husband was seeing another woman, through his text messages, when I confronted him he refused to discuss it with me and text the woman to let her know I had read the texts and to expect me to ring, he told me he was doing ...
A. 3 March 2009: I am sorry you have been treated so badly by your husband. What's the rush for a divorce? It's expensive you do it now through solicitors. Just sit back and wait until the time has elapsed when you can get divorced because of the length of ... (read in full...)
Am I doing right or am I holding onto something that would never be?
Q. I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 15 this mounth we have been going out for 3 moenths but my mam dosn't like him (to be honest not a lot of people do) she says he has bad hygiene and she doesn't like his background "he's in a different league to us" I'm ...
A. 3 March 2009: no-one can tell you the future babe, so it's impossible to say it will or won't breat. As for your guy's background... define background. Do you mean bad things he's done? or things his family have done? If you mean his family background, then he ... (read in full...)
Help - lesbian sex advice needed!
Q. Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for about a month now. I'm 16, as is she. However, this is my first same sex relationship but it is not hers. She's a very confident lesbian, while I'm quite a bit more timid and only just come out as bisexual...
A. 3 March 2009: What a shame you feel under such pressure. I would advise you to slow down. Take things slowly. Just because your girlfriend has experience does not mean you have to try to reach some imagined standard. I would also be surprised if your girlfriend ... (read in full...)
I'm female and want to be with HER but I'm scared I've found this new side to me...
Q. Hi. A couple of weeks ago, my best friend (a woman) and I went to the cinema and then for something to eat afterwards. Later, we went back to my house to continue the girly night. We went in to the kitchen to get a drink. We were talking then, all ...
A. 3 March 2009: Congratulations !!! sounds like you're having a lovely time with someone who is not only your best friend, but is also your lover. Just enjoy what you have. As mentioned already ,marriage and children are possible in same sex relationships. We ... (read in full...)
Comingout question
Q. hello. i am a male, 18, and have recently decided that the time has come to tell my family that i am gay, but i have no idea how i should tell them and am worried that i will just run off when i am about to. also, should the truth have come out earl...
A. 2 March 2009: Only you know your family so only you can take a guess at what will happpen. A young guy i knew told his parents via a letter. He gave it to his mum then went to his bedroom and waited for the response. His parents said they had no idea that he ... (read in full...)
Am I questioning my sexuality because of college?
Q. Hi. I am 18 years-old and a freshman in college. I am currently struggling with a huge issue. I have been in a three year relationship with my boyfriend and I love him so much. Recently, I have been questioning my sexuality, something I have never, ...
A. 2 March 2009: don't worry about it, you sound fine, just over reacting to the events around you. Just because gay porn turned you on does not make you gay. Neither does thinking about it especailly if your man also features in your thinking.... (read in full...)
Will my gf lose custody of her kids because we're seeing each other?
Q. I am a 21 year old Female. I am completely in love with another Female who is 39 and she is in love with me too. She has two children and is afraid that if her ex husband finds out that she is with a 21 year old that he will take her to court and ...
A. 27 February 2009: her ex-husband may try to take away the children just to be nasty but, it will take more than a gay relationship to loose your children. Although that being said some states view same sex relationships differently. If you live apart and you are ... (read in full...)
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