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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 October 2012: Just wanted to get my thoughts down. I was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago and thought I had beaten it. I've just found out that the cancer has spread to my brain and I have 2 tumours. I have just been offered gamma knife surgery to...
Dangers of Porn
This question has 53 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 November 2011: I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
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Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 14 November 2011: Hey, I am not a man hater per say and not sure where you've got that notion from. I've always loved working with men, in fact in preference to working with women. I worked in construction many years ago and the guys still keep in touch with me. I ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 13 November 2011: @Smiliek - if your partner used drugs and lied about it in order to get together with you, then I think it's OK to then ask them to stop! Same with porn. Oh, and hope the pregnancy is going well x Someone wrote further down about not wishin... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 9 November 2011: "Well said Gabrielle, I like to see a reasonable and sensible argument; and you didn't need to refer outside to a reference or statistic once" Mmm, I'm glad Gabrielle posted and it was interesting to get her view on things. However, you sai... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 9 November 2011: Thank you everyone for responding, I think it's been an interesting debate. Special thanks to Person12345 (as always) and Dark Heart who gave some fabulous answers. Thanks to those also with their alternative views, which of course sparks the ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 7 November 2011: Gosh, I haven't the heart to respond to that last lady. It's her first time on this site, so she hasn't seen the number of issues that porn has caused in relationships.
Oh, and men do confuse fantasy with reality, which is why you get men comi... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 5 November 2011: @Odds - I didn't say abuse was funny. I said the idea that you think I'm abusing my bf was funny - please get your facts right before responding, or twisting the answer to suit your own aims. I have, many years ago, been in an abusive relationship ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 4 November 2011: The statistics and succinct arguments that Person12345 puts forward has enabled me to say to my partner "no more porn"! I came to this site originally because I was confused and didn't know what to do. I've seen Person12345 counter argue every ... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 3 November 2011: Thanks for your responses everyone. Person 12345, always a pleasure to have you respond too.
I believe what the criminologist and The Madame were trying to say is that porn did influence the outcome of Tabak's actions. He was totally desensit... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 2 November 2011: "Hmmm. The OP seems to be reacting to a deliberately-provocative article!!" Is this a case of stating the obvious? Of course I've reacted to a poor girl being murdered by a seemingly normal charming man who happened to be into violent porn an... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 1 November 2011: Thanks KC100 for your comments.
I dislike porn on many levels and this is just one of them. My partner and I had disagreements over this as he watched it and wanted me to join in too, which I did, for a while. I didn't like it and I asked hi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cant stop looking at porn and explicit pictures, and lies to me about it! How should I handle this?
Q. Okay, so in the recent past I've had some troubles with my bf of nearly 2 1/2 yrs looking at porn and having explicit pictures of girls on his phone. For ages I knew and didn't say anything. Until one day I asked does he watch porn and he said no. I ...
A. 21 October 2011: So men are visual are they - what if they are blind??? What about your other senses?? Taste, smell, touch etc. You are limiting yourself if you say you are "visual" only!! Women shouldn't have to put up with this sh**! If you don't like your ... (read in full...)
They are 'taken' So Why do people see married men/women in the first place?
Q. Note: if you honestly didn't know he/she was with someone, i undertand completely. I have seen so many questions on here about people being broken hearted about their lovers leaving them and all I can think is, what did you expect? I keep t...
A. 17 October 2011: I've never understood this one either! I think it has a lot to do with your moral compass and how you have been brought up. I would NEVER entertain an affair with a married man, EVER!! All this BS about "falling in love" is a crock. The person ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel hurt that he thinks it's normal to go to a strip club/pole dancing at a stag party?
Q. The subject of my fiancee going to a stag weekend where there they go to a strip club/pole dancing came up (we're together a year). He said he wouldn't think of going twice and what was the big deal. I was shocked at his reaction. He was then ...
A. 11 October 2011: You feel how you feel and that's your entitlement. I would worry about this because having worked with men in a very male dominated workplace (building construction), they used to go on stag weekends and would come back and say "What goes on tour ... (read in full...)
If Your Partner Is A Porn Watcher....
Q. What do you do when you've discovered that your partner has been watching/hiding porn? This is a question that many women, in particular, want answers to. Here's my view on it... -First,you should have a talk with him. As hard as it may b...
A. 10 October 2011: Communication is the key, of course it is. However, some men are unable to articulate their needs/desires. My partner was a porn watcher and I tried to have conversations with him about this but he would just close up. So, I tried to embrace it, ... (read in full...)
His sex drive is higher. I deny him probably 2 times a week, but how do I deal with him masturbating to porn?
Q. I know this question has been posted a million times, but I was hoping for an answer on my specific situation: My boyfriend (he's 26 and I'm 23) have been together for about a year and a half, and have been living together for 10 months. Some...
A. 3 October 2011: Stand your ground sweetie. If you don't like it, you are never going to like it and no amount of pressure from these other Aunts and Uncles should make you change your mind!! He doesn't "need" porn to masturbate to, he just "wants" it, possibly ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 27 September 2011: Fair point Person12345 and thank you for pointing this out to me. I have used the words mutt, skank etc and you are right, this is probably not helpful. Where we disagree however is the person's choice. Anyone choosing this profession for a quick ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 26 September 2011: Person12345 is right, the guys answering this question must have spent years wanking to a particular "type" of woman and they now think they are hotter!! Yuckk!!! You see these guys are the ones not worth bothering about. Has anyone ever seen a sh... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 22 September 2011: I am trying to think up an analogy that best suits! Imagine you were with a partner, that say, had a small penis and was quite insecure about this. Now imagine that you kept wanking to porn of guys with enormous cocks, who could go for hours and ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 21 September 2011: You say you are OK with porn but it is clear from your post that you are not, and it is causing issues in your relationship! From all the posts that we have had on porn, men do single out the porn stars (sometimes to imagine them when they are ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 2 September 2011: Bandying around comments like "not open minded", "insecure" etc for people who do not watch porn is not helpful in my book and serves to confuse the OP. Would it be helpful if I called all porn watchers "perverts", "closed minded", "fetishistic", ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 30 August 2011: One guy has commented "just like I need to envision porn scenes to get off sometimes during sex"! Why do you need to do that? Can't you keep your clanger up without porn? Well, if ever there was a case for not using porn, you have it right there. ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 25 August 2011: I am bothered by porn and I'd be equally bothered if my man checked out other women in front of me, same thing in my book. There are some posts here that say they don't mind that, but I do. So my opinion differs from others, so what!! It's my ... (read in full...)
My wife to be revealed her sexual past. I feel sick to my stomach
Q. I am 31, she is 29. She is drop dead gorgeous. We fell in love a year and a half ago when she was one of my day nurses when I had spent some time in the hospital recovering from a tumor in my knee (non cancerous) During our time dating, I would ...
A. 23 August 2011: When I lost my job several years ago there was one low point where I didn't even have enough money to buy tampax. The food brought was all value products (when Jobseekers allowance was received) and we were really in dire straights! Did I go off ... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel so bad if their man watches porn?
Q. I ask this question as I'm fed up seeing questions about porn coming up frequently and women complaining about their men watchin it. I'm 26, I've had 3 serious relationships and each man has loved to watch porn. Sometimes I've watched it with the...
A. 22 August 2011: I love Person 12345's answer. Here's my take:-
1. I believe a man who watches porn is emotionally stunted
2. I do not want to be with a voyeur
3. If a man thinks that porn helps his sex life with his partner then he is living in cloud cuckoo... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 19 August 2011: Mmm I thought Tilly's arguments were succinct. Here's my take on it. If your wife is in the same age range as you, then have you thought she might be peri menopausal (or menopausal) and this hugely impacts libido! I'm currently in this situation ... (read in full...)
The fiance and pornographic material
Q. I have a question and maybe someone could answer for me. I am engaged to a wonderful man. It took us awile to get where we're at right now. I moved in with my fiance back in January. He gave me his email password to show me that I could trust ...
A. 23 June 2011: It really does depend on your values. The lying would worry me and that's not a good basis for a relationship. Also, if you have strong views against porn, then the relationship will not work long term if he continues to view it or lie about it. I ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 8 June 2011: Well, I think one myth has been dispelled! Men appear to not only watch the porn action, but they DO single out the porn actresses to wank over afterwards, so as Jannipeg said, this is really cheating (of the mind anyway)! What woman in her right ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 19 May 2011: Hi Again Smiliek We'll agree to disagree if you don't mind. And I have concerns that you have used the male argument of "you seem slightly insecure in your relationship". What does that really have to do with anything? Please elaborate on wha... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 18 May 2011: Hi Smiliek
I have written down my personal opinion so please do not let it offend you, it is mine afterall.
If statistics show that most men watch porn, then you can bet your bottom dollar the guy looking down your blouse or checking your arse out... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 17 May 2011: Yep, right on for Person12345. Because of your convincing arguments, I now have taken the stand that I do not want porn in my life. I tolerated it before because I got confusing advice on this site, from the pro porn activists.But from reading ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated but we are working things out, how do I get over everything that happened?
Q. My husband cheated on me with one of my friend who split from her partner last year. I knew something was wrong as he was not himself but I did not find out until a week after he left me in june. Up until then we had a full sex life and continued ...
A. 16 May 2011: Um, get rid of him. Quite simple. Once a cheat, always a cheat. It's probably not what you want to hear but it's your only option.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?
Q. I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...
A. 2 May 2011: I hate porn and my bf has stopped for me. You see, we both love each other and we want our relationship to work. I made it very clear at the start of our relationship that I hated it with a vengence and he chose not to tell me so I have no qualms ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 1 May 2011: Yes, it is cheating of the mind. When my bf ejaculated over a photo of a well known bimbo, who really cannot string a sentence together, I was devastated. You may as well have punched me in the gut, I felt so bad. So, I'm continully o... (read in full...)
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