His disastrous ex keeps popping up and I can’t figure out why I’m being called jealous and insecure!?!
Q. the guy im crazy in love with has finally filed for his divorce and custody. his 12 year relationship, from an outsiders perspective i suppose, was pure insane. she cheated on him constantly with men and women, which is appearant just by looking ...
A. 20 September 2019: I couldn't finish your drawn out story. It is clear that he is manipulating you into thinking his ex is the problem. Come on, he knew those pics and vids were in his phone. He saved them on the drive for gods sake. To enjoy? maybe. For you t... (read in full...)
I think I really insulted my bf....how should I fix this?
Q. A few days ago my bf came home from work and he came into our bedroom where I was reading/studying and to get my attention he took his penis out and wanted me to play with it....I told him to go away bc I was busy. When he came back to bed a few ...
A. 28 May 2019: Please do not ignore that fact that he called you crazy and not normal because he didn't clean himself properly before foreplay. You are not his sex slave and shouldn't demand oral sex in this way. He did not take into consideration your feelings at ... (read in full...)
A troubling situation is arising my dad is becoming a creep
Q. Firstly,my dad has never abused or molested me growing up and he was actually very protective of me and my sister. Now even as an adult my father will do anything for me and he has expressed that I'm his favorite child. I never felt weird around my ...
A. 28 May 2019: This sounds quite bizarre. What is more shocking is that your mum saw it and chose to ignore it. If that was my daughter, I'd slit his throat and watch him bleed out before he got to touch her again. I have a 16 year old girl so I don't take any ... (read in full...)
What is the average age for first time sex for a girl?
Q. how old is the average age when a girl has sex for the first time?? ...
A. 28 May 2019: There isn't an average age really. I think it all comes down to wether you feel ready and have the right person to share the experience with.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me he said he couldn't be himself with me
Q. Dear cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, like every couple weve had our ups and downs but love each other greatly. We were living together and decided to not renew our lease because we wanted to buy a house together s...
A. 21 May 2019: What a mean thing to say "He basically said I'm not the type of person he wanted to own a house with let alone have children with."
He didn't handle your feedback well when it came to sharing explicit thoughts about other people. That wasn't a... (read in full...)
My 24 year old son is physically abusive occasionally
Q. Hello I really appreciate this site. Thank you for making it. I’d find it very helpful. This time I have a family related question and I’d appreciate an suggestions/recommendations you can give me thank you. What’s happened is that I have a ...
A. 21 May 2019: You did the right thing and removed him from your home. He is an adult and must be reprimanded for his actions. Your other son needs to do the same. He needs to call the police, remove him from his home for the sake of his safety.
Has your son... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes too quickly during sex. How do I talk to him about it?
Q. I don’t know how to talk to my boyfriend about this without him saying i dont like out s*x life or making him feel bad. I love what wr have but he tends to finish too quickly, 2 days ago it was probably 30 seconds, and it has happened before but it ...
A. 21 May 2019: He sounds like a selfish lover or he may just be inexperienced. Part of a good sex life is communincation, getting to understad what eachother likes. If he isn't interested in hearing what you like or wanting you to get to know what he likes more ... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex to go back with his former ex!
Q. My ex and I split up 3 months ago. We have 2 children together that he still sees regular;y. I didnt want to split and I still love him but we argued too much and our relationship became so toxic it had to end. But now his ex-fiance, who h...
A. 17 May 2019: Pull yourself together woman. You've got kids to think of here. Drinking yourself to oblivion over something that may or may not happy is crazy.
Think about it. If it wasn't her, you'd feel the same with him getting with someone else.
You ... (read in full...)
What would you do with a partner like mine?
Q. Hi I’ve been with my partner now for 5 years and I honestly don’t know how I have put up with it for so long he puts everyone before me if someone rings him to do summat such as painting or anything like that he’s there I ask him he does it months ...
A. 17 May 2019: You are right. He is takign the piss out of you and you are allowing him to. Kick his deadbeat ass to the curb. He sounds as if he is using you in all honesty. For a roof over his head and a warm body to lay next to. You deserve better.
Wish ... (read in full...)
Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?
Q. Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...
A. 17 May 2019: I believe we learn from each relationship and go forward knowing more what works for us. I believe I get wiser with each relationship in all honesty.
As we get older we tolerate less than what we did in our twenties. We gain different standard... (read in full...)
Is it ok to have sex with my aunt who's now divorced from my uncle?
Q. My non-biological aunt and I are considering a sexual relationship. She divorced my uncle about 8 months ago and got completely cut off from my family until I messaged her. We have gone on a few "dates" and been sexual but only with our hands (i.e. ...
A. 17 May 2019: My head screams NO NO NO NO NO. What are you thinking? This will not end well, trust me. She may not be married to your uncle anymore but that doesn't mean they will accept her into the family because she is now having sex with her nephew (By ... (read in full...)
My husband looks at young women in porn and tells me I should just be happy he's still having sex with me despite my shortcomings
Q. My husband looks at porn of women around 18- 20 . I’m entering menopause and feeling extremely depressed about my changes to my body such as less elasticity and lubrication wrinkles etc . I’m fit and healthy but nothing makes me as young as the ...
A. 17 May 2019: How charming of him. That is such a hurtful and nasty thing to say. Does he think he is this gorgeous man who every woman wants to sleep with and you should feel lucky it's you? Honey, you need to live your life for you and build up your ... (read in full...)
Why can’t he say that promise when I’m having an anxiety attack?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. We we've been together since school. We live each other very much but last year my anxiety got worse which nearly resulted in us breaking up. When this happened I went through a period of ...
A. 16 May 2019: I have a teenage daughter who suffers from anxiety and depression so I'm well aware of the effects of this. What I do is I'm also honest with her and tell her she needs to pull herself together. She tries to blame the anxiety on all other things ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his mind games?
Q. Hi guys, I've recently ended my 7 year marriage due to my husband being emotionally abusive towards me (constantly asking me where I've been, who I've been with, telling me how I should feel, gaslighting me, not letting me go to sleep until I've...
A. 16 May 2019: I know all too well men like this. I was with one for 16 years. The first 11 years were perfect but once I moved in with him then everything changed. Exactly like your situation. He had a problem with everything I did and accused me of cheating ... (read in full...)
Should I make him my friend with benefits
Q. So I met a guy about 14 years ago and was instantly attracted to him. He had a girlfriend at the time and I had just got into a new relationship too. I’m not going to lie there was one or 2 nights we hooked up and did things we shouldn’t of ...
A. 2 May 2019: Hi mummy85. I would assume you'd have higher standings when it came to having sex with a man. He isn't much of a man in my opinion. Wouldn't you feel better finding a guy who is nice, respectful and mature to relieve your tension? Who knows, it ... (read in full...)
Should I make him my friend with benefits
Q. So I met a guy about 14 years ago and was instantly attracted to him. He had a girlfriend at the time and I had just got into a new relationship too. I’m not going to lie there was one or 2 nights we hooked up and did things we shouldn’t of ...
A. 1 May 2019: Hi There. Why would you want to sleep with a man who is a serial cheat? What is the attraction? Also, to have a one night stand with him knowing he is in a relationship is a bit hypocritical on your part. So you wouldn't date him beause you don't ... (read in full...)
He says his affair was my fault. I am emotionally exhausted!
Q. My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. I got married young (21) and he was 25. I knew at the time that he was a bit insecure but I guess I was young and naïve. The insecurity is getting worse and worse. A couple of years ago, I h...
A. 1 May 2019: Please listen to your gut. You are being emotionally abused and this is unacceptable. When people cheat, it is their fault. No one elses. They decided to cheat, they acted on it and saw it through. No one else is responsible so for him to try a... (read in full...)
Was I too slow in making the right move?
Q. Hello everyone, I met a girl like two month back and from then we started chatting and talking. I really like her even from the first time I saw her, I decided to take things further slowly(from being friend to relationship). But one thing I noticed ...
A. 29 April 2019: Yes you did make the wrong move. She seems like a private person and has no reason to divulge her personal life. To tease her then get mad at her is unacceptable. Who do you think you are? Just because you decided to make the move doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
I just want to know that I am sane. He made me feel crazy
Q. I have posted about this particular man some years back. I met this European man on a dating website. For almost 4 years of whatsapp messages, we have only video called on Skype twice, the first video call was both our ideas and the second video ...
A. 29 April 2019: How on earth did you spend so much time on this loser? He only spoke to you through text for an ego boost then played with your feelings because he could.
Stop being foolish and giving this guy anymore of your time.
He is probably married... (read in full...)
The way my husband argues with me and handles conflict is very difficult for me to handle
Q. My husband and I have been together over two years. We have had a lot of good times and not so good times. I am expected to be submissive and I try hard but it’s not always easy. Sometimes he gets mad over small things. It wouldn’t bother me but ...
A. 24 April 2019: I was in a simimilar situation with my ex partner. For the first 11 years he was loving, supportive and motivating. Once I moved in with him he expected me to be at his back and call. Being submissive is what he wanted. To cook, clean, child care, ... (read in full...)
What do I wear for my first time at a swingers’ party?
Q. Hi everyone So on my bucket list for the last 10 years has been to attend a private adult party. I have been recommended one and I have been checking it out quite thoroughly and it all seems legit and safe etc. My question is - as a single...
A. 18 April 2019: I used to get hired to perform aerial acts for a well known swingers club (just performed) never anything else as that is something I'm not into.
From what I saw from the guests and their clothing, it ranged from nice going out bodycon dresses ... (read in full...)
Why does my wife go cold on me when we’re on holiday?
Q. I've just got home from a 2-week cruise around the Caribbean with my parents, my wife and my two kids. It was the holiday of a lifetime and we all had an amazing time. The only downside was that my wife seemed to just ignore me the whole holiday. I ...
A. 18 April 2019: This might help a bit. From my own experience.
I was with my ex partner for 15 year, we never travelled together in all that time because I travelled alot with work (professional dancer)
Now, when it came to getting around to going away toget... (read in full...)
Will he take me back even though I have acted like a nutter?
Q. I posted once before - see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/everything-was-perfect-until-he-lost-his-nan.html Since then it’s all been pretty messy.. I went a little psycho for a while, kept trying to contact him etc to which he completely ignor...
A. 16 April 2019: Jeez woman. How long are you planning to hold out for this loser? Are your standards so low that you are willing to put up with a man that behaves like a child? The energy you spend indulging him could me put elsewhere in your life. Like making ... (read in full...)
Adult son's fiance is too old for him
Q. My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...
A. 15 April 2019: Stop interferring in his relationship. He is a grown ass man who is responsible for his choices. What you should do is be inclusive with this woman and support your son and his decision. When and if it falls apart, your son will know that you've ... (read in full...)
2 babies with another woman and he's married to me. I want a divorce!
Q. I have been married for 4years and just before I got married my husband and I were on a short break. During that break, my husband (then fiance) slept with one of his friends. I did not find out until one month after we got married. And 4 months ...
A. 2 April 2019: Divorce him immediatley. That woman was asked to come by his house. She isn't telepathic for goodness sake.
He has fathered 2 children outside your marriage and your still considering that the female is lying about who the father is. Does it ... (read in full...)
Am I being sent signs that I should stay single?
Q. I met a man on a drunken, fun night the other night. We clicked and had a lot in common. he was quite sweet. he took me for dinner and gave me sweet cuddles. I had asked God if maybe God would want me to have a boyfriend or a husband a couple of ...
A. 29 March 2019: This has to be a troll.
If it isn't then it sounds to me that you like to think you're a servant of God but really don't behave as one.
You don't seem to have much self esteem when it comes to choosing men and seem to be a bit of a push ov... (read in full...)
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