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... Send *onungalungb a private message | | | *onungalungb's profile:I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.
My advice falls into four categories:
Good
Not So Good
Funny
Serious
I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.
Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun. |
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Worried that when he does hurt her, she'll come crawling back to me, and, being a gullible old fool, I'll take her back!
Q. I use an intenet chat service from time to time; I met a girl on there in September(ish) (virtually met) and we both agreed to go out on a date (this was in November). However, she said she couldn't get down (she lives in Yorkshire) because of work ...
A. 1 March 2007: You say that she is your "first girlfriend" (albeit a virtual girlfriend), and that you're 27? That says a lot. You're obsessed with this girl and now you say you're falling for another girl (the 17 year old) that is helping you through your pain? ... (read in full...)
She demanded I can't hello-hug any women but she says it's ok for her to do it to guys!
Q. Dear Cupid Early in our relationship my girlfriend demanded that I never give other women a hug-hello since she never hugs guys. Its so rare that I hug-hello anyways, and then, only to real friends who cannot misinterpret it as flirting. However,...
A. 7 February 2007: When you say she "demanded" that you not do something, that sounds pretty scary to me.
Tell her that you won't hug anyone as long as she doesn't hug back. In other words, she has to keep her arms to her sides when someone tries to hug her.
Overa... (read in full...)
Planning to invite this older guy (26) I like to my 17th b'day party...will he feel out of place with my friends?
Q. I'm 17 next week and having a party to celebrate it on friday! I am planing to have many friends their but they are all 16-19... there will be about 25 of them.... thing is im seriously upside down in love with a 26 year old man and i wanna invite ...
A. 4 February 2007: If I were 26 and a 16 year-old asked me to her birthday party, I'd probably decline the invitation, unless we were already friends. . . and friends only. That's a pretty big age gap at that age for romantic pursuits.
So to answer your ques... (read in full...)
Worried now that my 8 year old child might be by another man to who I've thought all along! Should I tell all now?
Q. I was with S for 4 years when we spilt up. I met someone new, T, and after a few months I slept with him. I was taking the contraceptive pill. I slept with him once, I felt really bad after because I still loved my ex and I didn't see him again. ...
A. 4 February 2007: I know of a married woman who had an affair and had a child, who she believes was fathered by the man she had an affair with. She never had a blood test. Fortunately, the father and her husband look enough alike that nobody would know. The child is ... (read in full...)
What is the 'average' size??
Q. I'm worried that my penis is too small and just wanted some advice on the average size???...
A. 4 February 2007: If you include Pygmies, the average is about 5 inches. If you don't include them, the average jumps considerably. . . so to speak.
An erect Pygmy penis is about 3 inches long, on a good night. Although one Pygmy, known as "Tripod", was said to h... (read in full...)
He cant see me because of his mum and it's driving us crazy!!
Q. I'm 14 and my bf is 13 almost 14 and weve been going out for a little over a month (we broke up for 5months from an 8month relationship with each other) but any ways....his mom wont let us see each other over the weekends!! and its becoming very ...
A. 4 February 2007: "For some reason his mom won't let him see you." Let's see . . . the fact that he is 13 might have something to do with it. They took away his cell phone? The nerve of them. LOL. What does a 13 year old need a cell phone for? They should have never ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I am thinking of giving him my virginity on Valentine's Day! Got any sex tips?
Q. hello i 14 and still a virgin, by bf is 16 cummin on 17( not a virgin) i reali reali lyk im n we av been totching each other and so on, n he sed e wud neva kiss and tell (all his mates say e wodnt as well) i thinking of losin my virginity to him on ...
A. 2 February 2007: Dr. Reality Check,
I think it's the text message generation. I hope that's what it is anyway. Otherwise, it may be a good idea for this writer to spend her spare time in an English class, instead of worrying about tossing off, sucking, and f*ck... (read in full...)
How can i get over him??
Q. HELLO!!!! U c im 13 years old and ive gone trough allot!! First my last 2 ex Chris and Kevin were much older and only wanted sex!!! i never gave it to them so they dumped me!! Then i told my homeboy that i loved i was Bi he stoped talking t...
A. 2 February 2007: 13 is pretty young to be involved in grown-up things like being in love and having relationships. You're better off getting involved in school activities like the choir, cheerleading, theatre, that sort of thing (as square as it sounds). Keep your ... (read in full...)
Would you leave this guy alone with your child even if he is the father? My lawyer is telling me in 3 months it will be ordered by a judge that he can get unsupervised visits. She is only 6 months old now
Q. Would you leave this guy alone with your child even if he is the father? My lawyer is telling me in 3 months it will be ordered by a judge that he can get unsupervised visits. She is only 6 months old now. He: Asked me to have an abortion (...
A. 2 February 2007: How does your lawyer know how the judge will rule? If you can present substantiated facts supporting your concerns, the judge may rule differently. Your lawyer represents you and is paid for by you. If he doesn't want to present your case in a ... (read in full...)
I'd have to turn into a high priced call girl to afford the food for the month, let alone the mortgage!
Q. Money as the root of all evil? My husband and I have been happily together for 5 years. Six months ago we moved from the US to the country where he was born. Since then we have had some tensions, mainly from ironing out issues that we didn't h...
A. 1 February 2007: Money isn't the root of all evil . . . it's the LOVE of money that is.
You've allowed yourself to be removed from the land of milk and honey, to another country, where things aren't so rosey. You have to decide . . . which is best for you and your... (read in full...)
My sexist boyfriend thinks it's the womans job to cook & clean. He refuses to do the housework, I'm so fed up. What can I do?
Q. hi i have been with my b/f for over 2 years..he is great in some ways BUT he is a momma's boy..meaning he grew up in a household where it was "women's work" to cook, clean. The men did not do this. I definitely know this because i have seen his mom ...
A. 1 February 2007: Note to Ironic Nostalgia. . .
I forgot to add an adendum to my letter: "The above letter is written with a note of sarcasm (tongue in cheek, if you will)."
There, how's that?
LOL! Sometimes I forget that people will take what I write too literall... (read in full...)
The guy I'm seeing is a jerk and turns things around like I'm to blame for everything! I'm so confused.
Q. i don't even know where to begin with my problem. I've been seening this guy for a year and a half now. I really love him but he has serious mood swings. For example I was supposed to meet him monday nite, i phoned him when he didn't come at the ...
A. 1 February 2007: I don't know who wrote the title, but it is appropriate. He sounds like a jerk. Your initial reaction was correct. Your text telling him you were finished should have been your last contact with him. You say you don't want to lose him. What's there ... (read in full...)
I dont think its going to work out but he is my only friend!!
Q. Okay I have a big problem. I came over New Jersey on the train last night. It took me 3 and a half hours to get here to see my boyfriend. Besides coming here to see him I also came to go out and have some fun with him cuz ever since I moved to ...
A. 1 February 2007: If you're outgoing, you shouldn't have a problem meeting new people. If you were sexually harassed at your job, you need to see a lawyer. . . or go to a free legal clinic.
As for your so-called "boyfriend", he sounds like a sloth, and I woul... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but I think he really likes me. I caught him looking up my skirt! But we're just friends though so what's he up to?
Q. I'm a bit confused. I have a male friend who has a girlfriend - a pretty serious relationship - but recently he's been quite flirty with me. He stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking and the other day, dropped behind me on the stairs to perv ...
A. 1 February 2007: Maybe he lost his pencil and was checking to see if it could have slipped up your skirt? LOL.
If he's just a friend and that's how you want it to stay, I wouldn't read too much into his behavior. If you want more than that, which it sounds like you ... (read in full...)
My sexist boyfriend thinks it's the womans job to cook & clean. He refuses to do the housework, I'm so fed up. What can I do?
Q. hi i have been with my b/f for over 2 years..he is great in some ways BUT he is a momma's boy..meaning he grew up in a household where it was "women's work" to cook, clean. The men did not do this. I definitely know this because i have seen his mom ...
A. 1 February 2007: Before you decide to move in with or marry momma's boy (or Neanderthal Man), YOU need to lay down YOUR guidelines. It seems he has told you his. Now is the time, before you even think about moving in, for you to give him yours. Write down a list and ... (read in full...)
His beer belly gets in the way of sex! We can't do our favourite positions anymore! What can I do?
Q. I can't enjoy sex anymore with my hubbby cause his waistline has expanded which causes his belly to get in the way of our best 'sexual positions..I tried to get him to exercise but he won't!. we are married 30 yrs.I have tried to initiate other ...
A. 1 February 2007: Tell the fat bastard to shape up or ship out!!!! LOL.
Seriously. You should impress upon him the health issues of having a "beer belly". Tell him you want him around for a long time. Carrying extra weight can shorten your life by as much as 20 year... (read in full...)
My bf and I want to have sex on Valentine's day to make it special. But I can't because of my mom. How do I tell him?
Q. ok me and my boyfriend have been going out for 5 months febuary 7th and me and him want to have sex on Valentine's day but my mom won't let me have a boyfriend or even close to have sex but anyways, he wants to make it perfect because it is my first ...
A. 1 February 2007: It sounds like he wants to make it perfect for him, anyway. What a line. Let your boyfriend buy you some flowers or chocolates, or take you roller skating. Save the passion until you're older and understand what "having sex" is all about.
Tell him ... (read in full...)
How can I console my friend who is a cheated-on wife?
Q. A good friend of mine just told me that her husband has been having an affair for some time now and this past weekend she discovered the whole thing. He moved out! She’s so heart broken and she’s crying ALL the time. They’ve been married for 5 ye...
A. 1 February 2007: I think the best thing is just to listen. She probably wants to vent her anger and frustration. In time, you could offer to take her to a spa, or to get a makeover. Something to make her feel better about herself. When she's ready to face the world ... (read in full...)
I don't want to date him as he gets around but if I say no-he might lose interest! What should I do?
Q. Iv been friends with a boy for 5 years and ive always known he's thought of me as more. A couple of months ago he was telling me he wants to be with me and asking me if i would. iv been saying i dont know because im scared but i really want to say ...
A. 1 February 2007: You're pretty young to be wrapped up in all of this intrigue. I'd say stay friends and don't get in over your head. You say he gets around. You don't want to be another notch on his bedpost do you? If you lose his friendship because you won't "put ... (read in full...)
I have a close friend I really like but want to know if she feels the same way...how do I do this?
Q. i have a close friend i really really like. well she always invites me to places when she goes with mates etc. but i just dont get that feeling that she likes me. is there any way to find out? any signs? i dont want to show her i like her coz she ...
A. 1 February 2007: Blow softly in her ear. If she smiles, she's interested. If she looks annoyed, she's not. If she just looks puzzled, she's probably not interested. . . but there's hope.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Foreplay, cum, fantasy etc, etc...Explain all these 'sex' words to me?
Q. what is fore play?..fantasy a girl?..is orgasm same thing as cum?..how do you know when you orgasm?..what is all this sex words!!..i dont get it!! plz explain! tnx!...
A. 1 February 2007: You might want to "google" any word that you're not sure of. I'm sure you'll find references on the net for anything your heart desires to know.
As far as orgasms go, you'll know it when you get there.
Have fun!
... (read in full...)
How could I get him to go down on me?
Q. any ideas on how to get him to go down on me? He never has once in 3 years.......
A. 1 February 2007: Some people think it's "dirty." Not me. I've even heard of girls not wanting it because they thought it was "dirty." Maybe he's inexperienced and not sure as to what to do. Show him the way to the promised land. . . or give him a book to read that ... (read in full...)
We broke up but I still love him.. he seems to treat me so bad though!
Q. I went out with this guy for 10months and was totally in love with him and still am.We met at university but he lives abroad.While we went out he visited me all the time. The thing is a few months ago we had an argument and he split up with me, ...
A. 30 January 2007: Some times we've got to be careful what we wish for . . . it might come true.
I think you'd be better off changing your phone number and losing this guy. You don't need Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in your life. Move on.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Admitted to the sex... but there's more.. I'm so guilty - I can't hurt him more!
Q. i am 24 and been with my boyfriend for 7 years , we have a child together, 4 years ago i had an affair and i recently decided to tell him, we are working through it even though i hurt him alot, i have also done other things with 2 people not full ...
A. 30 January 2007: What's over is over. You can't change the past and there is no sense beating yourself up about it. You admit to being a different person. Look forward, not backward.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I like older guys! Do I have a 'daddy complex?"
Q. Hi, this is probably going to sound ridiculous but here goes. I’m currently dating a guy who is 8 years older than me (I’m 19). I know it’s a huge difference but that’s not necessarily what my question is about because our relationship is working ...
A. 30 January 2007: If you were dating me, they might say you had a "Daddy Complex." LOL. Since you're not (too bad for me), don't worry about it. 8 years is nothing. Fahgetaboutit!... (read in full...)
Scared to date because my penis is too small-what can I do?
Q. This is mainly aimed at the ladies. I'm 2 scared 2 get with girls b/c of the size of my penis. I know 2 some girls size dont matter but surely when its 3inches normal and only 5 when erected its an issue....
A. 30 January 2007: I have 3 inches. . .
but most girls don't like it that wide.
RIMSHOT!!!... (read in full...)
She treated me badly and we split...but I want her back-but know I should forget her! How do I do this?
Q. How can I move on with my life and forget her? She did everything opposite one knows as love, and what you expect from your lover. She treated me bad, swear at me, never showed she cared about me and my life, and never help me when I needed h...
A. 30 January 2007: This sounds a lot like a letter I answered yesterday. Either it's the same person, or an uncanny resemblence.
If it's the same person writing these letters, what is the answer you want? Did she love you? What difference does it make now? There is a... (read in full...)
He changed his mind about liking me overnight - and after I started to like him back! Why??
Q. there was this guy that seemed to be really interested in me doing all the right things then one day something changed it was like overnight he changed his mind (of course after i started to care about him). it was like he didnt even care and seemed ...
A. 30 January 2007: Maybe he is interested in you as a friend. Maybe he was interested in more than friendship, but you did something that made him think that you only wanted him as a friend.
Maybe he is playing a game of "Cat & Mouse." He's interested, you're not.... (read in full...)
This 42 year old guy needs a place to stay-his wife kicked him out-he's hot-should I let him stay with me?
Q. Ok this might sound kinda weird but stick with me. I'm almost 18 (one more month!) and I'm a freshman in college. My room mate is like never here. Basically she's living with her boyfriend but the college thinks she lives in the dorm. ANYWAY im...
A. 30 January 2007: I'm curious as to what the four asterisks represent. This guy is going to buy you beer and WHAT?
I agree with everyone else. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? You're 17. You're thinking about having a 42 year old man move into your dorm room. Most... (read in full...)
Im 14 and 9 Weeks pregnant!!! I want to keep it but dont know how!!!
Q. I'm 14 years old and am 9 weeks pregnant. I saw an ultrasound of the baby recently and heard it heart beat. I was wanting to keep the baby but dont know how to do it at my age. If anyone can help me with this it would be appreciated. ...
A. 29 January 2007: You need to talk to your parents and tell them you need their help. It will be important that you get the help and support of your family. Hopefully, they will let you raise your child within the framework of your home.
If your parents are not supp... (read in full...)
I masturbate a lot-does being a virgin have anything to do with this?
Q. im 16 and masturbait alot. i do this mostly 3-4 times a day. i want to know if it is addictive.i dont if wether me still being a virgin has anything to do with this....
A. 29 January 2007: 3 or 4 times a day!!!!! Son, you are addicted. . . and yes, you will go blind! LOL.
If girls know that you spank your monkey 3 or 4 times a day, they may just run from you, or they may find that appealing. It is hard to say. Losing your virg... (read in full...)
He wants to take a ski holiday on his own with another female! Should I allow this?
Q. Okay here is my problem my bf is 24 and im 31 he is a teacher. He wants to go on a skiing holiday FOR A WEEK in spring break with a female teacher who is 27 just the two of them to do see if the venue is suitable and it will not cost anything. She ...
A. 29 January 2007: I agree with CD206.
The female friend might just be like "one of the guys" if you know what I mean. Wink, wink. And I think you do.
He'll love you more if you trust him . . . and don't nag him.
Besides, it will give you a chance to do those lit... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get rid of neck cysts?
Q. dear cupid i would like to know is their any other way to get rid of a cyst in one part of the neck to even out both necks. i am self concious and do not know how the cyst happened, but when i ask my family they say their is nothing there. e...
A. 29 January 2007: "to even out both necks" . . . how many necks do you have? LOL.
I remember reading a similar letter a little while ago. I assume you are the same person that wrote that letter. I think the advice back then was to see a doctor. They'll be able to t... (read in full...)
Worried that when he does hurt her, she'll come crawling back to me, and, being a gullible old fool, I'll take her back!
Q. I use an intenet chat service from time to time; I met a girl on there in September(ish) (virtually met) and we both agreed to go out on a date (this was in November). However, she said she couldn't get down (she lives in Yorkshire) because of work ...
A. 29 January 2007: Am I reading this right, you've never actually met this person face to face? How can you say you've fallen in love? You've invested way too much emotion into this "relationship". If she came crawling back to you, how would you know it was her, if ... (read in full...)
She said she wanted 'space and time', we agreed to meet but she saw me and called the police!!
Q. My fiancee and I have been together 7 years (3 of them being engaged) and last week she dumped me saying that she wanted so space and time to "figure out some things"... This was a huge surprise to me because in the 7 years we've been together...
A. 29 January 2007: Three years seems like a long time to be engaged. . . when you're in your 30's.
I'd like to hear her side of the story, but just hearing yours, I'd have to say that she has made up her mind and doesn't want to see you. I'd leave it at that.
If yo... (read in full...)
She broke off with me and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Any advice?
Q. Hi,I hope you can help me with this. I built up a dream and my love around this girl I meet two years ago. Things were good on those early months, then she started to show her true character after 6 months or so… She started her demands after de...
A. 29 January 2007: This sounds a lot like a letter I read a couple of months ago. Either it's the same person, or an uncanny resemblence. In either event, I'll answer it the same way.
You should be thanking your maker that she dumped you!!!
I had an old teacher ... (read in full...)
He wants to meet me but I told him such outrageous, huge lies about myself...how do I deal with this?
Q. hi, i've been speaking to a guy off the internet for almost 2 years, first we text for almost a year then we progressed to talking on the phone, over the past few weeks we've got really close and now this guy wants too meet me, which under normal ...
A. 28 January 2007: Why not top off your lying streak with a whopper. Tell him you've decided to start a new life as a man and that you're already half-way through the process. The only thing left is to have the schlong (penis) attached. Ask him if he has a couple of ... (read in full...)
He's the sweetest guy but he's a zero in bed! Should I stay or go?
Q. I am in relationship 15 months with great guy i really love, but in bed he is zero. he is sweetest thing in the world and i can't tell him about this problem or even leave him.i feel that i could cheat, but i don't want it would be humiliating.what ...
A. 27 January 2007: If you can't tell him, who can?
Communication works wonders. Try it. If he's eager to please, he'll be more than happy to do whatever it is that turns you on.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Do you think its weird for a 32 year old man to be going out with a 24 year old woman?
Q. Hi there...do you think its weird for a 32 year old man to be going out with a 24 year old woman?...
A. 27 January 2007: When I was 40, I dated a gorgeous 23 year old woman . . . for 3 years. Nobody called me weird . . . they just called me lucky. LOL.
... (read in full...)
I left my wife for another girl, but the other girl now refuses to give up her "lifestyle!"
Q. I recently left my wife, for a girl, I have been having an affair with for two years. she always promised to move to my part of the country, as I have children. Now, she refuses, because she can't bear to give up her life or lifestyle. This...
A. 26 January 2007: I think Malyce has hit this one on the head.
Your case is a prime example of someone leaving their common sense behind because "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence." Lots of people who seek advice on this site are looking to do exac... (read in full...)
I have fallen for one of the managers where I work!!
Q. I'm 21 and the guy i like is 31. Him and i get along great. He is a manager in a different departmant in the store that i work at so hes not my manager. Well since i talk to him alot someone had 2 get in the middle of my business and i know who...
A. 26 January 2007: If he's interested, he should make the first move. . . move his girlfriend out of his house, that is.
You can wait around for that to happen, or you can move on with your life. The choice is yours.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Love at first sight...but I never got in touch!!
Q. What are you supposed to do when you've fallen in love with someone you've never "officialy" met? I'm a shy person, i never act on my feelings, and it always ends up eating me up inside... i don't want to be like that anymore, i want to change. I...
A. 26 January 2007: A faint heart never won a fair maiden. In your case the roles are reversed. LOL. You need to lose the shyness and just talk to him. Pretend he is your cousin or brother or someone you already know. If you can approach him with confidence, he will be ... (read in full...)
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