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*r S agony aunt

*r S

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Worried about b/f's conversation with sleazy secretary

Q.   I met my boyfriend for lunch and the secretary at his office called.. He said, 'Hello' And I couldn't hear what she said..he didn't move away do much..so that's not the problem. But he said, 'Well how do you want me to answer.' Then you co...

A.   11 March 2009: You have asked if you should ask him. Will this is quite simple, if you want the truth and you are prepared for both the innocent and guilty answers then ask him. Before you’re your thoughts run away with you. Remember there could and probably... (read in full...)

Is this normal jealousy?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for a long time now, about five years. We've had an awesome relationship which has been happy and intimate and very promising. She's affectionate and tender with me. We spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun ...

A.   11 March 2009: First of all you are not alone; many people have the same trouble with a partner that demonstrates jealousy to excess. The first thing is never be tempted to lie in order to keep the peace or side step an argument. Lies will compound the problem ... (read in full...)

I think dad will ruin plans to have sex

Q.   ok well my dad asked me to talk to im before having sex and me and my gf are planning to very soon and her dad know and i think hes getting her birth control pills i want to be responsible so he will trust me more but i think he will ruin our plans ...

A.   2 March 2009: Your question is one that is very serous indeed; by the tone of your question I think you are not very old. It is good that you are being responsible and taking responsibility for your actions. My advice is don’t rush things and always be ready to ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to change somebody's drinkink habits?

Q.   How much drink is acceptable in a week. My boyfriend loves beer - he used to drink about 5 or 6 cans in the evening but was able to hold it really well. A few nights he went out clubbing and got very drunk and he cheated on me. We broke up but a ...

A.   25 September 2006: Hi I understand that your boyfriend is drinking a little more than you like and you have asked how much drinking is acceptable. Well the answer to this is not an easy one, I have known men that can drink 10 cans and be ok (Drunk but in cont... (read in full...)

My deformed lip... what shall I do!?

Q.   dear cupid i have posted a question before about having a busted up lip, its not really a busted up lip its just that one part of my upper lip is fater then the other one, and i woould like to know if it is normal or not as when i take pictures it...

A.   4 September 2006: Hello from Mr S I understand that you are a little worried about your Lip. Well the first thing to do is go to your family doctor and tell him what you are felling, and the fact that this is making you miserable and upset, the doctor will not laug... (read in full...)

I look so young for my age...any way I can make myself look older?

Q.   I need help, asap. The thing is, I look really young for my age. I'm 19, 20 in November and I still get asked for ID. Most of the time I even get asked ID for a 15 rated movie. When I got to clubs it's really embarrassing to be stopped infront of ...

A.   2 September 2006: Hi You are a very luck girl. There are hundreds of women out there that will read this question and think that you are very luck (they may even be a little avenues) If it’s the boyfriend factor that worries you (What the Lads think) don’t be wor... (read in full...)

My cousins torment me...What should I do???

Q.   ive always been close to my two male cousins but ever since i can remember, theyve always abused me. it wasnt as bad when we were little but since we've got older its got worse and im scared of what theyll do next. the weird thing is theyre not ...

A.   1 September 2006: The first thing is you used the phrase “they’ve always abused me” if I take this literally then I would strongly suggest that you tell someone that is in a position to stop these actions. You must understand that you are in no way responsible or to ... (read in full...)

Seeing him with his ex will really hurt me. Am I being stupid??

Q.   Right heres the thing, i have been chatting to a guy online now for the past year on and off and have really grown to like him, he lives locally and is the friend of a friend of mine, so its not as though he is a complete stranger.. As we started ...

A.   1 September 2006: Hi The first thing is `no you are not being stupid`, Relationships are often difficult. I would say by what you have said that this man likes you but has not thought of you as more than a close friend.(Sum lads are nice but incredibly slow on the ... (read in full...)

Why cant I ever Orgasm... ?

Q.   Hi why cant i have an orgasm? Im 27 and have been with my husband for 10 years married for 2, i just cant seem to have an orgasm, he is a very considerate lover spends a lot of time on foreplay (a lot of time) but no matter how much i try to re...

A.   1 September 2006: Hi I hope you don’t mind an answer from a mans point of view. I would say that this problem you both have must be a very upsetting for you both, a man that cannot fulfil his partner will feel inadequate and if you love him this will also lead to y... (read in full...)

He cheated, I will forgive, I ask if he still wants me, he doesnt know!!!!!

Q.   Hi. I've been married for 2 years and recently discovered my husband has been cheating. It started 1yr ago almost to the date of our anniversary. He has been lying to me for the past year about this and I learned last month he has been "miserable"...

A.   30 August 2006: You sound like a person that is in turmoil. It’s easy for people to jug you and your husband without giving things a chance. If you would like to sort thing out I would suggest that the fact that he has not said Yes to a break-up might be a good ... (read in full...)

The spark in gone...Is there a future for us?

Q.   Hi, Been with my boyfriend a little over 2 years but the spark has gone...does that mean theres no future for us or just that we need to work to get the spark back? Thanks x...

A.   26 July 2006: The first thing that you must ask yourself is do you love your partner more or less than when you first met. Often a relationship settles down after what I will call a holiday period, which funnily enough is about two years, (just like when you are ... (read in full...)

I want to wait until my married lover's relationship breaks up naturally...

Q.   Iv'e been seeing a married women for 6 months. It ended 2 months ago, the phyical side of it, but we have remained friends. I love her with everything I have but am I fool for waiting until her marrige breaks up by itself?...

A.   25 July 2006: I’m sorry to read you question, a relationship with a marred person is never a good idea. But the said fact is if the lady loved you she would have broken up with her husband in the first place to be with you. If her relationship with her husb... (read in full...)

He keeps saying nothing's going on, but my boyfriend spends too much time with his female snowboarding friend!

Q.   Am I being paranoid? I'll try and keep this one as short as possible, but basically you handbaggers give good advice, so thought I'd see whether you guys thought I was being paranoid or possessive. I'll quickly tell you the background. Basical...

A.   25 July 2006: Hi Mr S here I would say you have big problems with your relationship that needs sorting. The first problem is trusts, or rather the lack of it. Yes your boyfriend is going away with another woman on a sporting holiday (this is a little insensit... (read in full...)

He's a cad, but I choose to further cheapen myself by pining for him

Q.   basically i have been with a guy for 4+ years.we got engaged last year and WERE due to be married in a couple of months. we have been through a lot of struggles, ranging from him lying to me to being in court. also he has cheated on me. i hav...

A.   22 July 2006: Affairs of the hart are always difficult answer. I have seen men and women treated appallingly by there partners. The question is often asked by others why? The answer is often simple it’s because they can. I have seen men that get a sick ple... (read in full...)

Should I have kids first or hold off until after school? I'm 31 and in college

Q.   I am 31 years old and have been in and out of college. I can still be considered a freshman. I want to have kids and go back to school but we are moving in a year, so I don't want to start school and have to transfer, not to mention we only have one ...

A.   21 July 2006: I am about to give advice from a mans point of view (I hope you will continue to read on) as I have a large and in the main happy family I find children are a blessing however, this is not the case for everyone. I would suggest that only you can ... (read in full...)

My son is impatient and gets mad about this - any ideas?

Q.   My son will scream violently if i dont't do something for him right away, even if i have said yes! The problem them esculates where he loses control and will lash out at me, then we end up with world war 3, he is generally a good boy, but this one i ...

A.   18 July 2006: I would suggest that you try to get an appointment with a behaviour expert via your GP they can help identify problems, this service is available on the NHS (UK only) be prepared for scrutiny but the end results can be dramatic. They will check ... (read in full...)

Any ideas what to do with a maths degree? Or further courses?

Q.   Im soooo confused. I really do not know what to do with my degree. I will have a honours in maths from a good uni. Anybody got any suggestions for a career path or any good Masters (ie Post Grad) courses??...

A.   18 July 2006: Try teaching it’s a shortage subject you will get good grants and the chances of a job are good and the pay is very good. All the best Mr S ... (read in full...)

What is the difference between ICT and computing?

Q.   What's the difference between ICT and Computing? xx...

A.   18 July 2006: Many years ago when I first purchased a computer everyone called it computing or IT and about 2001 ish the C entered into the IT to give ICT. In my opinion it’s a play on words. IT stands for Information technology and ICT stands for Information ... (read in full...)

Is there anything I could do to get him back?

Q.   OK, so this is a long confusing story, but i'll just give the highlights. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years now and we couldn't be happier. However, I have two goy friends that I use to date, but we are only friends now. ...

A.   18 July 2006: I would suggest that the first thing you do is put yourself in his position. How would you feel if he was going away camping with two attractive girls? Then add that you found out by accident. This would probably lead to you feeling betrayed. ... (read in full...)

At 14, I hate who I am...

Q.   Hate being me! I am 14 and am at a difficult age in life. I discover who I am and I really don't like who I am sometimes. I always mount myself up to everyone else and know that they are better then me. I think I am fat, ugly and thick and I'm feel...

A.   18 July 2006: You are at the down of discovering who you are, a very trick time of your life where it feels like the whole world is against you and nobody loves you. This is called puberty every one over the age of twenty has been through it. But that’s no real ... (read in full...)

My GF and I never have anything to talk about on the phone! Any ideas?

Q.   I have the hardest time talking on the phone with my girlfriend, we never know what to say. And it doesn't help when I never talk anyway as I'm a quiet guy. But it's like we don't have anything to say. Our conversations are usually all quiet ones ...

A.   17 July 2006: I would say that this is a good thing not a bad one (for a start it will save a fortune on the phone bill) but jokes apart talking to a friend or partner isn’t the important thing it is communication that is important. Many people can speak on the ... (read in full...)

If I don't fantasise about girls much any more, could it be a sign I'm going gay?

Q.   I'm 16 years old and have been out of school for the summer for about a month and I'm stuck at home all day with no contact with my friends or girls. Ever since I can remember I've fantasized about girls and have had girlfriends in the past. Bu...

A.   17 July 2006: I would say that you will find that time will sort you out. You are maturing into a young man and as such you will develop a more selective eye for the ladies. Where you will be drawn to certain types of girls and women and not gust any girl that ... (read in full...)

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